


Widowed by the Future

by ShadowedByDarkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Eren Yeager, Eren breaks, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Lapdance, Levi breaks, M/M, Mikasa is hospitalised, Minor Character Death, Obsessive Mike, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Pole Dancing, Rape- chapter 10, Singer Levi, Slut Shaming, Smut, Stripper Eren, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Violence, Will add more as I go, abuse not between Eren and Levi, oh god I am sorry, past Levi/Mike - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 09:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 79,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3686961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowedByDarkness/pseuds/ShadowedByDarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As soon as they met Levi was infatuated with Eren's emerald eyes, but even he didn't know how quickly he would need to rely on the brat.<br/>As soon as they met Eren was drawn to Levi's cold expression, but even he didn't know how quickly he would come to hate it.<br/>When a panicked greeting comes through the phone's speakers Eren doesn't hesitate to take Levi's burdens on his shoulders along with the weight of his own.<br/>As they both try to keep their heads above water, their pasts come back to greet them.<br/>One, a crazy ex-boyfriend who is obsessed with gaining back what he lost.<br/>Two, a broken home and an old career that's calling again.<br/>Both Levi and Eren are chased by their pasts and are unable to look into the future.<br/>How can these broken men help one another? How are they going to wade through all of the shit that has been dragged to the surface? And how could they possibly be falling for one another when their worlds were falling apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bright eyed cat

It was just another day in the middle of Mitras, people were barging each other to get wherever it was that the needed to go. The fairy lights were hung on the fronts of shops and across the lampposts just as they were every year in December. The crisp winter air was alight with festivity, despite all the rushing bodies there was plenty of merry chatter, it was almost contagious. Almost.

Levi huffed at the noise and simply pulled his jacket tighter around his body, he could never understand the point of getting so excited over two days that come every year. He could never quite grasp what made them so special, why it was necessary to start counting the days till the magical 25th from sometime in October. People get far too wound up over a simple day. All Levi wanted to do was to get home and drink some tea, he didn’t want to stay out in the bitter cold for a moment longer.

“Leeeeevvvvvviiiiiiii!” A whining voice cut through the rest of the noise. Levi stopped in his tracks and groaned knowing exactly who the irritating voice belonged to.

“What do you want? Shitty glasses.” He snapped as a breathless brown haired women came barrelling through the crowd beaming at him.

“Am I not allowed to just want to see my grumpy-man-friend?” she asked with an attempted quirk of her eyebrow.

“No you fucking well can’t. You’re annoying. What do you want?”

“Oh come on Levi you know you love me. Anyway, I was just wondering if you were going to do anything for your birthday this year. It’s the big three zero. You’re getting old.”

“Shut up you irritating fuck.”

“Oh I know! There’s this club that I go to a lot and I actually know the owner, she’s a real cutie I mean seriously she is so god damn adorable I could look at her all day-“

“Hanji”

“Right, right, as I was saying we should go over to The Garrison and party till dawn breaks”

“Whatever, as long as they have cheap booze and I can just get drunk off my ass.”

“Yay! I’ll tell Erwin. To be honest I was expecting far more of a fight over this, I know how much you hate socialising”

“It’s cold Hanji and I really can’t be fucked to stand hear arguing with you over going to the club because I know for a fact that you would probably drag me there anyway.”

“You’re right, I would have. And Erwin would have helped me, so you wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Just because eyebrows would back you up does not mean that I wouldn’t go down without a fight.”

“Hmm, yeah, you probably would go kicking and screaming.”

“I wouldn’t be screaming.”

Hanji snorted, “Yes you would, you would be showering us with your colourful and imaginative insults.”

“Whatever.”

“Well see you later munchkin, I gotta go.” She shouted running off to wherever she was going.

“Tch.” Levi stomped off on the way to his apartment, colder than he was before and far more irritated. Hanji always had a knack for getting under his skin, why was he friends with her again? She was always loud, always bouncy and energetic, she never seemed to get annoyed with Levi’s constant insults and yet would whine whenever he didn’t tag along to whatever event she was going to. Levi knew for a fact that he wasn’t very good company in social situations simply because he didn’t have a filter. He was blunt and could be very cutting, on more than one occasion he has reduced someone to tears with a few sarcastic comments. It was probably the reason that Levi only had two friends, Erwin and Hanji. If Hanji was the bundle of energy that never slowed down and Levi was the sharp tongued man with an explosive temper, then Erwin was the voice of reason. The blond was always able to think rationally, no matter the circumstances. That calm, calculating exterior had come in handy on more than one occasion. There had been far too many rehearsals where Levi had gotten frustrated at their newest song and all Hanji was doing was fuelling the fire. It was always Erwin that managed to come up with a solution or managed to calm Levi and get him to look at things from a new perspective. When the three of them were together there was certainly never a dull moment. Secretly Levi was convinced that between the three of them they would be able to rule the world, or at least the country. Their fans would serve as an army, seriously though hard-core fangirls are scary. A small smirk formed on Levi’s face as he thought about his friends, though he’d never admit it aloud he was actually rather fond of the pair.

Not looking where he was going Levi schooled his expression and continued his quick pace, refusing to move out of the way of anyone coming towards him. This meant that everyone else had to move, although thanks to Levi’s signature death glare people did just that. Apart from the kid who didn’t.

With a loud smack the kid and Levi collided, “Watch where you’re going you fucking brat!” Levi yelled a hand flying up to his forehead.

“I’m not a brat and you have eyes too don’t you, or are you too senile to use them?” the brat in question shouted.

“Tch, move out of my fucking way you little shit.” Levi said glaring up at the kid who returned it with a glare of his own. The emerald and onyx eyes fought with each other, both alight with irritation.

“I’m late enough as it is. I can’t waste my time with some old man” bright eyes huffed before walking around Levi at an even faster pace than before. Levi watched the kid walk off; he couldn’t be any older than eighteen, long legs that were squashed into some tight jeans, some _very_ tight jeans, and his back and shoulders were wrapped in an oversized leather jacket. His chocolate brown hair stuck up at odd angles and looked completely wild. As a whole the kid looked practically edible, and whoa where was that thought going.

“Fucking brat” Levi mumbled as he turned back around and continued walking to his apartment. Those green orbs still stuck in his head.

 

Shoving the key in the lock and roughly turning it Levi strode into his spotless apartment and headed straight for his white bathroom, stopping in the kitchen to boil the kettle. Once he reached the bathroom Levi stripped off and carefully folded each item of clothing and placed them on the shelf by the door, collecting a fluffy towel as he did so. He then put the towel on the heated rack and stepped into the shower, turning it on. As the warm water hit his shoulders he could already feel them becoming less and less tense. After thoroughly scrubbing his skin with lemon scented soap he let the water wash off the suds. Shutting off the shower Levi grabbed the fluffy towel and dried himself off, hugging into the soft fabric. Once he was clean and dry he tugged on a pair of boxers and flopped into bed.

Being a front man for one of the most popular underground bands was hard work and he was completely exhausted. His day had involved waking up at 6am to get to a rehearsal, why it was so early he had no clue. Curse Erwin for being a morning person, that bastard probably just woke up in a good mood. Levi was most certainly not a morning person, anyone that is unfortunate enough to encounter Levi before his morning dose of caffeine is lucky to walk away with their head.

With his cup of tea forgotten, Levi fell into a peaceful sleep and dreamt of something rather unexpected.

_Levi found himself sitting on the roof of his apartment, how he had got there was a mystery to him but there he was. Staring at the night sky the stars shining brightly in the cloudless sky, the moon hung lazily right alongside them. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and it wasn’t cold either which was odd considering it was the middle of December. Levi shifted so that he was lying down with his hands behind his head, from where he was he could see Orion and the plough… how did he suddenly know the names of dumb constellations? A frown settles of Levi’s face but that was nothing new. He continued to scrutinise the shining orbs of light until something caught his eye. A slight movement over to his left, a brown shadow shot over the roof top and leapt onto the one that Levi was occupying. The cat stopped right in front of Levi and stared at him with bright green orbs, its chocolate tail swung from side to side curling at the end. Levi slowly reached out a pale hand towards the feline, not wanting to scare it away. The cat studied his hand before taking a step back and hissing, its green eyes were alight, glowing in the darkness. Levi froze, but the cat continued to hiss before turning and running away. With the disappearance of the cat Levi was alone on the roof once again._

Levi blinked awake and frowned slightly at the light that was invading his dark room. Sitting up Levi scrubbed his eyes trying to shove some more energy into his slow skull. “What the hell was that about…” he muttered to himself before leaving the comforts of his bed to make a cup of tea. The chocolate cat with green eyes was playing on his mind and he found his thoughts wandering back to the brat he had bumped into yesterday. Why was he playing on his mind? He had literally bumped into the kid, exchanged a series of harsh words and then left on their separate ways. He knew he had a thing about eyes but he didn’t know it was that big of a thing. Oh well, it’s not like he was going to see the brat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will continue to enjoy them.  
> This is my first multichapter fic so please bear with me!


	2. A Bright Eyed Dancer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to visit his sister and then heads to work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any and all mistakes, I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> (Last Edited 16th Aug)

“I’m late enough as it is. I can’t waste my time on some old man” Eren huffed before storming away from the raven haired man. He had to hurry up and reach the hospital before visiting hours were over. “What was that guy’s problem anyway, it’s not like he didn’t notice me coming straight at him.” Eren mumbled under his breath before picking up speed again. Honestly he might as well be running, his warn-out converse hitting the pavement one after the other, the noise drowned out by the busy chatter. Pulling his jacket closer around him he did give in and start running down the street towards the hospital, pushing the aggressive man out of his head.

 

“Evening Eren. You made it in time, so slow down a little. Head straight through, I’ll sign you in” the chirpy blond said as Eren come barrelling in through the revolving door.

“Thanks Armin!” Eren said over his shoulder as he jogged to the elevators, tapping his foot restlessly while he waited for the slow metal box.

Once inside, Eren jabbed his finger at the button labelled ‘3’.  The silver doors slid lazily closed and the elevator began its steady ascent. The yellow numbers rolled from 1 to 2 then after what felt like an eternity from 2 to 3, without giving the doors a chance to fully open Eren was out of the elevator and jogging down the familiar corridor, towards the last room on the right. While knocking gently of the tan wood Eren slowly slid the door open and stepped inside. “Eren?” a soft voice cut across the room, cracking slightly.

“Yeah. It’s me Mika” the green eyed boy responded as he walked over to her bedside and took up his usual chair before asking “How’re you doing?”

“Okay I guess, the doctor says that the radiation is working well. Doesn’t feel like it though. Feels crappy.” Mikasa replied muffling a cough with her thin hand, as she leant back against her pillow.

“It might feel crappy but at least it’s working. It’s working Mika” Eren smiled at his sister, he couldn’t imagine what it was like to be bound to a hospital bed, wanting to move but being unwell enough to not be able to.

“So, how are you doing Eren?” she asked tiredly.

“Not bad I guess, I got a new job so I’ll have enough money to be able to take care of you when you get out of here.”

“Another job? How many do you have now Eren? You need to take care of yourself, stop pushing yourself so hard.” Mikasa said looking into her brother’s eyes searching for some flicker of understanding but as usual there was none. The only thing she found in Eren’s green depths was concern.

“I know Mika, but to be honest it isn’t really a new job. Ugh how do I explain this, where I work was short on bar staff so I said I would cover for them and in the end they said that the job was mine if I wanted it. So it isn’t really an extra job, it’s just something tagged on the end of what I was doing already.” He explained rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I see. But seriously Eren, be careful.”

“Always” Eren said kissing his sister’s pale forehead. He gave her a sidelong glance, “although… this new job does mean that I’m seeing more of Horseface, so maybe I should quit while I’m head.”

Mikasa snorted, “I still can’t believe that _that_ was the first thing you said to him when you guys first met.”

“It needed to be said. Besides, he got me back with the oh so original _Jaegermeister_ ” Eren said wrinkling his nose.

“Does he still call you that?”

Eren nodded, “Yeah, along with Jaeger bomb. But it’s alright because I have a bank of horse jokes that are just waiting to be used” He replied smiling wickedly.

“You know, initially Christa and Ymir tried getting you two together?”

Eren coughed in surprise, and had he been drinking he would certainly have choked “ _What?_ ” he shrieked.

“Wow, that was a manly sound.”

“Oh shut up. And what do you mean they tried to get us together? Spill it.”

“Well to be honest I can’t believe you didn’t know till now, they weren’t exactly subtle about it. But then again, you’re dense as fuck Eren.”

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true and you can’t deny it.”

“I can deny it if I so wish.”

“Yeah, but you’d be lying to yourself” Mikasa grinned.

“How rude” Eren gasped

“Like I care. Oh don’t you pout at me you fuckwit.”

He snickered, “Anyway, back to the Ymir and Christa thing.”

“Yeah, back to that. Did you seriously not get suspicious when you _always_ somehow seemed to get stuck somewhere with him and no one else was ever around? Not even when Ymir blatantly pushed you into the music room and locked the door? Or the time she made everyone get out of the elevator except for you and Jean and then that elevator just _happened_ to get stuck?”

Eren rubbed the back of his neck, “I just thought that was Ymir being Ymir. She was always pulling shit like that.”

Mikasa hummed in response, “Yeah I guess she was. Actually now that I think about it you were on the receiving end of Ymir’s schemes quite a lot, whereas Connie and Sasha preferred messing with Jean. Hmm… I bet all of them worked together actually. It would have given Connie and Sash a chance to mess with Jean and Ymir and Christa a chance to try and get you guys together.”

“Yeah but Jean is fun to mess with, he had such a short temper.”

“What and you didn’t?” she snorted

“Alright I’ll give you that one, I’m a lot better now though. I have a little more patience than I used to.”

“Wasn’t it last week that you kicked a vending machine because it was too slow?” Mikasa said raising an eyebrow.

“It was being slow! I had to wait a whole two minutes Mika, two!”

“Blasphemy” she mocked.

Eren did his best to keep a straight face but soon failed and began chuckling, Mikasa who was usually very good at keeping a stony expression also began laughing. Whenever Eren entered the room it was like a weight lifting and suddenly it was easier to breathe. She smiled softly at him. He was always so cheerful, like he didn’t have a care in the world. Every room would light up when her brother walked into it. Everyone always seemed to gravitate towards him, even if he didn’t want them to. But he rarely turned them away if they needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. Somehow he managed to help everyone else with their burdens as well as carry his own. There was something about him that made you trust him, there was something in his eyes, in his smile that made you want to pour your heart out and have him fix it.

When Eren left to fetch a jug of water Mikasa found herself staring at his back, “When did your shoulders become so broad Eren?” she wondered sadly.

 

That night Eren had the late shift at the club, so he was able to stay with Mikasa until visiting hours were over. She had drifted off to sleep at some point but Eren didn’t mind, as long as he was able to be with her as much as possible he didn’t care whether she was awake or not. Especially since recently he hadn’t been able to visit her as often as he would have liked, between his extra work at the club and actually getting some sleep so that he could function as a human being, Eren hadn’t had a lot of time on his hands. Glancing at his phone Eren groaned when he realised the time, 8:12, his shift started in roughly 20 minutes, which meant that he didn’t have time to go home and have a shower before work. Sighing Eren began to make his way towards The Garrison, he should be able to make it in time, it wasn’t that far away.

 

“Jaeger. You’re late, hurry up and get behind the bar. You have an hour till you need to get ready to go on.” A sharp voice said and a familiar long faced guy stood behind the bar looking less than impressed.

“Yeah, be there in a sec Jean.” Eren replied, biting down the insult he wanted to hurl at the barman. Eren walked behind a black curtain and into the dressing room, he dumped his stuff on the chair and tied an apron tightly around his waist. Making his way back out to the bar Eren grabbed a cloth from the pile and got behind the stretch of granite topped wood. “Jaeger, wipe down the bar then start serving customers” Jean barked.

“Yessir Mr Horseface” Eren muttered under his breath, as he got to work wiping all of the streak marks off of the sparkling stone. Despite having known Jean for a number of years, while he was behind the bar Jean was his boss and having come in late he didn’t really want to test his temper. So Eren smiled at customers as he mopped beneath their drinks and winked at a couple of the regulars. After the top of the bar was nice and clean Eren turned his attention to making drinks.

The Garrison was a nice club, pretty small, though the owner preferred to call it ‘intimate’ and there wasn’t much lighting other than the glaring stage lights. The décor was tasteful, black and reds with the odd smatter of silver here and there. It was packed most nights which was odd especially since you wouldn’t expect anyone to want to go clubbing in the middle of the week, but they do. The stage in the middle of the club’s floor was obviously the main attraction, the shimmering silver pole spanned from stage to ceiling looking slick and smooth. At the moment it was unoccupied as the show had not yet started but as soon as the clock hits 9 there will be a dancer spinning around it every 10 minutes. Wrapping their bodies around it, casting a sensual spell over all of the onlookers, captivating each and every set of eyes in the club.

 

“Eren, you’re up buddy. Go get changed.” Connie said over the music,

“Alright Connie, thanks” Eren replied, “Hey Jean! My bar shift is over.”

“Alright Jaeger, don’t screw up!” Jean called back,

“Have I ever?” Eren winked over his shoulder before exiting the bar area and heading backstage. He walked through the big velvet curtain and into his dressing room, picking up his costume for the night on the way. Quickly stripping out of his white shirt and black skinny jeans Eren began to lay out his costume for the night, working out which piece of sheer fabric covered what.  Once he had gotten everything in the right order he began to pull on each of the different elements and snapped them all into place. Then he pulled up a chair in front of the mirror and began to work on his makeup, he gently outlined his eyes in a bold black that caused his green eyes to pop. He dusted his cheeks and shoulders with body shimmer so that they would catch the stage lights. And lastly he covered the ragged scar that spanned just above his hip with silicone and foundation. When he was done the skin looked smooth and there was no hint at the scar being hidden from view. Flashing himself a smile in the mirror Eren sauntered out of the changing room and waited backstage for his cue.

“Now then Ladies and Gentlemen it’s time to turn up the heat. It’s the man you’ve been waiting for, make some noise for Titan!” the announcer said over the music system, and the crowd went nuts. Everyone rose from their seats and began making inhuman noises when Titan began walking out on stage swinging his hips and strutting straight down the centre of the cat walk. He pulled himself against the pole and waited for the music to start, the noise from the audience died down as they all returned to their seats, mesmerised by Titan’s graceful movements.

The music started and Titan danced his green eyes glowing in the spotlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, Chapter 3 is already in the works so hopefully it will be up in a couple of days. I hope you enjoyed it and thanks again!
> 
> (Last edit, 16th Aug: Additional dialogue)


	3. Lyrics and Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets pissed off at Hanji, then Erwin arrives and they all watch a film before heading to the club. That's it... that's the summary.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI!” Hanji screamed through the letterbox “oh, oh and Merry Christmas! Let me in so we can celebrate.”

“No. Fuck off four-eyes, it’s too early for this” Levi responded from the living room where he was currently nursing a cup of tea as well as a royal hangover.

“Aww come on Levi it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon! Besides… if you don’t let me in I’ll stand here screaming through your letterbox till you open the door” Hanji countered a smirk forming on her face and her eyes alight with mischief.

Levi’s eyes narrowed “You wouldn’t dare…”

“I thought you knew me by now Levi” She smiled before taking a large breath and began shouting at the top of her lungs “LEVI ACKERMAN LIKES TO BE PRESSED INTO THE MATTRESS AND TAKE IT UP THE A-” the door flung open and a hand clamped down on the screaming woman’s mouth. Levi’s eyes were dark and his lips were drawn into a thin line, there was the slightest trace of colour warming the man’s cheeks. He dragged Hanji inside and mumbled “I may be gay but you know full well I prefer to top.” Hanji burst out laughing at the remark and simply waltzed into Levi’s apartment. “Make a mess and I’ll kill you.” He threatened as she headed to the living room.

“I know my dearest clean freak. I know.” She replied waving a hand at him, from her spot on the sofa. “So what time do you want to head to the Garrison?”

“Hell if I know. I’m only going because you insisted we have to do something and it has cheap alcohol.”

“It’s still your birthday Levi. You could at least pretend you’re excited.”

“Tch.”

“Urgh, do I have to organise everything? Fine then, we’ll head over to the Garrison at 9:30. That’s when the good dancers start coming on. I’ll text Erwin to let him know.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Dancers? What kind of club are you dragging me to?”

“Oh didn’t I tell you? The Garrison is a strip club” Hanji stated matter of factly.

“No, you left out that little detail.”

“Well too late now I’ve already told Erwin. That and I will drag you there if I have to.”

“Whatever. Like I said, as long as I can get drunk off my ass I really couldn’t give a shit where we go.” Levi said taking a sip from is lukewarm tea. He grimaced at the temperature and the slight trace of limescale… he needed a new kettle. Rising from his arm chair Levi stalked into the kitchen and poured the remainder of his tea down the sink, huffing at his wasted beverage. He rinsed out the mug and left it on the side to be washed up later.

Upon re-entering the living room he found Hanji sitting with various pieces of paper in her hands. The very same pieces of paper that had been neatly stacked on the coffee table “Levi these are amazing. Why didn’t you say you started writing lyrics again?” Hanji asked looking up at Levi’s entrance.

“Because I haven’t started writing again. Something just popped into my head and it was irritating me so I wrote it down. Put that shit back where you found it.” Levi snapped.

“But the songs that you wrote are our best ones. I understand why you stopped writing but it’s been years since then. And if these are anything to go by, you’ve still got it” She said looking into Levi’s onyx depths and seeing nothing.

“I said put them back. Just leave it alone” He practically growled at her.

“But Lev-“

“I said leave it! He stole years of my life off me and left me completely fucked up. Every time we sing one of those shitty songs it brings it all back again. It shows me how weak I was. I don’t need something else that’s going to haunt me” Levi shouted and exited the room again. He strode to his bedroom and slammed the door closed, locking it behind him. With trembling hands he opened the top draw of his dresser and grabbed a packet of cigarettes and threw open the door to the balcony. The pigeons that had been sitting on the metal railings jumped at the sudden noise and flew away in a startled panic. Levi glared at the retreating birds while he snatched a smoke out of the packet. It took him 3 attempts to light the thing, much to his frustration. Taking a long drag he sighed as he took in and then released the toxins from his lungs. He watched as the grey poison swirled and disappeared into the air. He felt ridiculous, like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

 Pressing his fingers to his temples Levi leant against the cold railings, the December air causing a chill to find its way down his back, clawing down his spine. He sighed again as he could feel the knot in his stomach begin to untangle itself, his hands stopped shaking and his shoulders began to come down from his ears. Each of his muscles slowly began to unclench themselves with each deep breath he took. Drawing regularly on his cigarette Levi stared at the street below watching as the passers-by hurry to wherever it was they were heading, completely unaware that a now 30 year old man was on the edge of a minor breakdown.

Irritated by his own actions Levi stomped out the cigarette butt and walked back inside, shivering at the change in temperature. Locking the balcony door behind him he sat on the white bed and sulked for a little while longer. Stupid brat making him start writing after however long it’s been. Those stupid green eyes making him feel that familiar itch to put words on paper because he physically can’t hold them in any longer. He’d only seen him for a minute and it wasn’t even a friendly exchange, they both just shouted at each other for not moving out of the way. All they did was trade insults and then return to their own business. That was it. So, why was he so hung up on it?

After who knows how long there was a quiet knock on the door “Levi?” came a rich male voice. Silently Levi rose to his feet and unlocked the door, when he pulled it open he saw a large blond man filling the doorway. When he realised that the door had actually opened the man moved to the side, allowing Levi to exit the room he had been occupying for the past 2 hours. “When did you get here Erwin?” Levi asked as he moved back into the kitchen and set the kettle to boil. From the cabinet he grabbed 3 mugs, automatically assuming that Erwin and Hanji would want a hot drink as well. He had been friends with them long enough to know that they ran on caffeine the same way he did. “About an hour ago. Hanji texted me telling me to come over early” Erwin answered watching Levi carefully “So, you going to tell me what happened?”

“Wasn’t planning on it. You want coffee right?”

“Yes please, Hanji will probably want one too.”

“Yeah, I guessed” Levi said as he poured out the boiling water into each cup, leaving just enough room for some milk. He spooned four lumps of sugar into one of the cups, frowning as the sweet granules dissolved into the muddy liquid “I honestly don’t know why Hanji even bothers having coffee, you can barely taste it with the amount of sugar she has. It’s disgusting.” Erwin chuckles as he lifts his mug as well as Hanji’s and takes them into the living room with Levi following behind. Hanji was sitting cross legged on the floor routing through Levi’s DVD collection, she looked up as the two men entered “The lack of Disney movies in here is not acceptable Levi” she said “you don’t even have Mulan. I bet you’d love Mulan!”

“Whatever. Why are you going through my cupboard anyway?”

“Well, we still have a few hours to kill until it’s time to go to The Garrison so I figured we could watch a couple of movies” she shrugged, as though what she was doing was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Fine, put on Rush. Chris Hemsworth has a nice ass.” Levi says flicking on the TV as Erwin hums in agreement, at the choice of film or the latter statement Levi isn’t sure. Settling down on the sofa Levi curled into the cushions and sipped at his tea, while Erwin sat to his right legs outstretched and resting on the top of his coffee table. Hanji put in the DVD and squashed herself between the two holding her coffee with both hands and slurping loudly.

 

When the film ended the trio on the sofa stirred and started getting ready to go to the club, since they were all there it didn’t matter too much that they were running late. It was currently 9:20 and it took a good 20 minutes to walk to the club but none of them really cared, they were too busy discussing the film. “I told you he had a nice ass.” Levi stated.

“Did you hear me arguing? I swear that man is a sex god.”

“Hanji I thought you were a lesbian?” Erwin interjected only to be pinned with _the look_ from both Hanji and Levi.

“I am exactly that Erwin, about as straight as a roundabout. But that does not mean that I am incapable of appreciating the godly booty of Chris Hemsworth or any other male for that matter.”

“Right. Okay sorry I said anything, didn’t mean to offend.”

“Haha, that’s alright. But think about it this way, if you said that a painting is beautiful and someone said ‘ _whoa I didn’t know you were attracted to inanimate objects’_ you’d be a little annoyed.”  Levi snorted at Hanji’s analogy, a smirk playing on his lips.

Together the three of them made their way to The Garrison talking and complaining about whatever it was that they felt like complaining about. Eventually they arrived at the club a lot nearer to 10 than they had intended. Everyone inside was already very drunk and it looked like the trio had some catching up to do, a task which they were more than happy to accept. On the pole there was a blonde haired woman, her hair was pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head and she was wearing what could be assumed to be a police uniform. Though, with that little material it was hard to assume it was any kind of costume at all. “Urgh, Hanji please tell me it isn’t all women.” Levi groaned looking at the blonde grinding her ass on the pole, practically bent in half “as impressive as that is it doesn’t make me want to bang her.”

“Relax birthday boy. They’ve got males too, they pretty much alternate between guys and girls so it’s good for both of us” Hanji supplied with a wink handing him another glass of whiskey on the rocks, “and I think there is a certain guy that you are going to love. They call him Titan; he’s their top male dancer.”

“We’ll see” Levi hummed.

“They say his eyes practically glow and his skin was blessed by a sun god.” Hanji says wistfully.

Levi merely snorted “If you say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next one will hopefully be up in a couple of days! ^.^


	4. Bright Eyed Brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Titan performs

By the time 11:30 rolled around Levi was thoroughly intoxicated and even starting to enjoy the skimpily dressed males working themselves on the silver pole. The latest act had just finished, it had been a woman which meant that a male was coming on next and, thanks to Hanji and her relationship with Petra, he had a front row seat. “Now then Ladies and Gentlemen it’s time to turn up the heat. It’s the man you’ve all been waiting for, make some noise for Titan!” the booming voice of the announcer said over the speakers and just like that, a tanned leg poked out from between the curtains. It extended outwards then bent at the knee before settling on the floor again, Titan placed his full weight on it and took a step out into the bright lights. The crowd was already screaming and the guy had only been on stage 10 seconds. The man stood upright and began walking over to the pole that stood centre stage, his hips swung from side to side like he owned the place. Levi watched the man’s hips sway; greatly appreciating the weird-ass costume he was wearing. The guy was in white trousers that looked like that had been painted on, with these brown leather straps running over his thighs and crossing just above his knees. They settled so perfectly over his ass, highlighting every curve and emphasising the sheer perfection of it. On the front those same straps that framed this man’s ass crossed directly over his crotch in a way that was positively criminal. And if the leather straps around his legs weren’t enough they also wrapped themselves around the man’s bare torso, pressing into the flesh ever so slightly.

Levi could feel his breath catch slightly as he watched Titan work the pole. He stared intently at the dancer and paid him far more attention than he had any other the other acts that night. Levi’s eyes flickered with want as he watched Titan’s glistening body bend and twist, effortlessly pulling himself up then sliding back down and grinding against the piece of metal only to climb back up again, twisting and twirling, and all the while shaking that gorgeous ass of his. The straps clung so tightly to his body, they moved with every shift in muscle highlighting how difficult it should be and yet Titan made it look so easy. He controlled his movements like it was nothing, lifting is weight off of the floor with only a hand or a leg supporting him. The flexibility of this man was driving Levi mad, and Titan’s movements on the pole only made his developing fantasies all the wilder. Titan performed his routine with a permanent smirk on his face that told everyone in the crowd that he knew exactly what he was doing to them, how he was making them feel, how he was making them react. The tiny gasps and groans that lefts Titan’s lips were barely audible over the music, it was something reserved for the front row. Titan let his hands trail over his body, sensually tracing the hard, defined lines of muscle.

Levi felt as though there were eyes watching him, so he flicked his gaze upward to Titan’s face only to find his gaze returned to him by hooded green eyes. The same green eyes that have been playing a reoccurring role in his dreams recently. As their eyes met Levi saw a flicker of recognition in those green jewels and the slight quirk of Titan’s lips didn’t go unnoticed either. Levi could feel his heart-rate quicken, his already shallow breathing hitched as he began panting slightly. He took a swig of his drink in an attempt to gather a little sanity and pull back on the stone mask he was famous for. The cheeky brat he had practically steamrolled in the street, was now grinding his very fine ass against a metal pole in very little clothing for all to see. Levi certainly hadn’t seen that one coming.

He didn’t usually like surprises, but this one was the exception. His eyes continued to follow Titan around the stage, flicking his gaze between his perfect body and his captivating eyes. Eyes that found Levi on more than one occasion throughout the performance.

Levi could hear the music begin to slow as Titan’s time on stage drew to a close, the crowd filled with murmurings “Is he going to do it?” “He has to!” “Come on Titan give it to us!” and they all waited with baited breath. What they were waiting for Levi didn’t know but he found himself holding his breath along with them.

Titan’s lips peeled back in a dazzling smile and he winked at the audience before taking to the pole, “Here we go! His signature…” and just like that Titan placed one hand at shoulder height and the other somewhere around his waist, he rose from the flats of his feet onto his toes in a spring before lifting his entire body upside down. In the upside down position he climbed higher up the pole until his feet touched the ceiling. His legs swung down and both his hands briefly let go of the pole before catching it again, once the right way up he let one leg wrap around the back of the metal length as he slid to the floor, unhooking his leg at some point and landing in the splits. With his legs spread wide and giving the audience a full view of his crotch he winked.

There was silence of a couple of seconds before the whole club erupted into applause and screaming. Levi felt himself getting swept up in the excitement, he began whooping and cheering just as loud as the next person, he could feel Hanji and Erwin staring at him but at that moment in time Levi really didn’t care. If they started teasing him about it he could blame it on the alcohol anyway. As Titan began gathering up the bills from the stage the booming voice of the announcer echoed through the club “Titan will be available for private dances for the next hour, book him before it’s too late” the dancer strutted off of the stage and giving a little wave he disappeared behind the curtain “Head over to the table at the front to make your booking. Up next we have the Dancing Queen herself, Historia!” a short blonde woman walked onto stage and the crowd cheers again, but Levi was already making his way to the bar. He quickly ordered a shot of vodka in some stupid attempt to forget about the erection he was harbouring. After downing the clear liquid he order another whiskey, he couldn’t remember how many he had had but he knew he was going to have a killer hangover in the morning. “What you didn’t order anything for us?” Hanji laughed appearing from wherever it was that she had been. Levi just shrugged, lowering his head and pressing his forehead to the cold bar relishing in the coolness of the smooth surface.

When Levi looked up he could see Hanji and Erwin smiling at each other, he narrowed his eyes “What did you do?” he asked eyeing the pair suspiciously.

“Who, us? Nothing. Just organising your birthday present” Hanji replied cheerfully as Erwin nodded, adding “You might want to give the drink a rest for a bit so you can enjoy it properly.” After glaring at the, probably sensible, proposition Levi returns his forehead to the bar and breaths deeply.

He was perfectly happy getting drunk in the bar then hailing a taxi so he could go home and most likely pass out on the sofa, but alas his nutty friends decided to surprise him. He hates surprises.

“It’s time!” Hanji squealed grabbing Levi’s elbow and dragging him to his feet.

“Ok you have to tell me now. What the hell have you done?” He asked pulling his arm from her grip before following anyway.

“You’ll see!”

The pair walked down the side of the stage and up to a podium with a very large looking blond man standing behind it. Levi squared his shoulders out of habit and raised his eyes to meet blondie’s bored gaze. “Name?” he asked bluntly.

“Levi Ackerman” Hanji replied, smiling like a maniac and pushing Levi forward. The blond quickly looked Levi up and down before handing him a piece of plastic and gesturing for him to go through. Levi stared at the black and green plastic card and then back at Hanji, who just rolled her eyes and pushed him through the curtains.

Levi stumbled over his own feet as he was suddenly pushed into motion, he felt the velvet flutter closed behind him cutting off the bright stage lighting. Behind the red fabric it was very softly lit, he found himself walking down a bare corridor, there was no paintings, no mirrors it was just plain beige walls. Once at the end of the corridor Levi was met by a brown haired woman who smiled kindly at him “Hello there sir, my name is Sasha. If you could please hand me the card that Reiner gave you, I’ll escort you to the correct room” she greeted.

“Reiner? Oh the big blond guy” Levi said handing the girl, Sasha, the black and green plastic. She took it and quickly swiped it against a handheld device before laughing “Yep, that’s our Reiner. Now if you’d follow me please.” She set off down the left hand corridor that Levi hadn’t even noticed was there. He followed Sasha to the very end of the hallway and stopped, as she looked at him expectantly. “Here we are sir, please enjoy” she said placing the plastic card into the holder on the front of the door and started to make her way back down the corridor.

“U-uh thanks” he called after her, before returning his attention to the door. He opened it slowly, for once not certain of what he was doing. Levi stepped inside the room and looked around; the walls were red and cast a faint pink hue over the room. There was a very comfortable looking black armchair that sat a little off-centre beckoning him to go over and sink into it. Levi walks into the room a little more, closing the door behind him.

“Good evening sir. I shall be with you in a moment. Please make yourself comfortable.” A sultry tone spoke from behind a small curtain that Levi assumes was acting as a changing room. He walks over to the large black chair and sits down. He felt like a child on a chair that was far too big for them, Levi curses his height. But what he lacks in height he makes up with muscle mass, and a whole lot of attitude.

The flutter of curtains drags Levi out of his thoughts as he looks up. The first thing he notices wasn’t the black thigh-highs, or the shimmering abs, it wasn’t even the black lace panties that hugged the dancer’s crotch. It was the glowing emerald eyes that met his, so full of knowing. Levi could feel his trousers becoming uncomfortable tight. “Oh I am so fucked.” He muttered, staring at Titan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, any feedback would be great and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next one will be up in a couple of days! Thanks again! ^.^


	5. Lap dances and Hangovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets his birthday present

The younger man smirked at him but didn’t move from where he was standing. Levi audibly swallowed, his throat becoming dry as his gaze fixed on those captivating green eyes. Without realising it Levi had sat forward on his chair, he forced himself to take a deep breath and sit back into the black fabric. He tried desperately to pull back his usual stony expression; he slowly reconstructed his cold demeanour and forced himself to relax. But it was too late, the dancer, Titan, had already seen his obvious excitement and his enchanting green orbs glowed with triumph. Instead of the signature smirk Levi was expecting Titan pulled his lips into a polite smile, a smile that went straight to Levi’s crotch “I am so, _so_ fucked” the man stated under his breath.

Swinging his hips side to side Titan walked over to a shelving system that held speakers and other sound equipment that Levi didn’t particularly care about, especially not when he got a complete eyeful of the dancer’s ass. Titan glanced over and chuckled to himself as he deliberately bent over to examine the track list, sticking out his hips as far as they would go. Once his decision was made he hit play and strutted into the centre of the room, directly in front of Levi, he hands were on his hips with his legs spread shoulder width apart. Levi found himself staring and moving further forward in his chair upon realisation of his reaction he blinked slowly and pressed his back into the chair.

He saw the music start rather than heard it, he saw it in the way that Titan’s body began to move, he saw it in the dancer’s long legs and toned muscles but most of all he saw it in those eyes that he was so obsessed with. He saw the way they closed as his arms moved over his chest and to his hips, he saw it when those jewels opened and looked at him with a trance-like haze. Slowly gyrating his hips and moving his hands from his chest down over his muscled torso and came to a stop on his thighs. A hand on each, inching dangerously close to his crotch before moving away and cupping his ass. The chocolate haired man closed his legs and sank to his knees, back to the floor. He lifted himself up and then back down twice before staying on his knees and falling forward onto his hands.

Titan crawled towards Levi who was sitting stiff in the high-backed black chair; he was transfixed on the dancer before him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him, not that he wanted to. The dancer stopped inches away from Levi and placed his hands onto his knees. Levi jumped slightly at the sudden contact. His hands remaining where they were Titan jumped to his feet, leaning some of his weight onto Levi and rocking those hips of his in a slow circle. It was when Titan straddled Levi’s lap that he forgot himself and placed his hands on the dancer’s hips.

Titan leant forward and whispered in Levi’s ear “Tut, tut, tut, no touching” his voice was seductive but firm. Levi was being told off. He quickly removed his hands and practically sat on them, not trusting himself to refrain from touching the man in front of him. His hands were still warm from the brief grip he had on the dancer, they still tingle with the sensation, and they still remember the soft, supple skin that he wasn’t allowed to touch. Titan was so close to him and yet he might as well have been a mile away, Levi just wanted to touch him. To ravish him with blossoming kisses that trailed up his torso. He wanted to leave marks on his neck so that everyone knew he was his. Levi wanted him.

Titan wrapped his hands around Levi’s shoulders and dragged their bodies closer together. His hips never stopped moving, they were constantly rubbing against Levi. His thighs squeezed together, holding Levi firmly under him. Levi could see the hard lines of muscle move and shift, slowly getting coated in a thin sheen of swear that glistened in the lights. He couldn’t understand it. Sweat was gross, it was sticky and smelly and just a horrible bodily fluid like any other. Levi couldn’t stand it, as soon as he started feeling sweaty he had to go and have a shower, rinse it off of his body. Yet on this dancer, on this green-eyed brat, he was absolutely fine with it. The way it caught the light and highlighted each shift in muscle, Levi couldn’t help but stare. He had been completely swept away. Reduced to nothing more than a groaning mess.

His hands had gone numb but Levi really couldn’t care less, he wasn’t going to need them any time soon. This brat had him wrapped around his finger and in all honesty it was scaring the hell out of him. _It’s probably just alcohol clouded lust_ , he hoped. But with Titan grinding on his lap and trailing his hands over his chest Levi couldn’t form a coherent thought let alone analyse how he was feeling. That can be a job for tomorrow morning, while he was recovering from his hangover. Right now he should be focussing on the man rubbing himself against his thighs. Levi was itching to touch him, to caress those lean lace covered thighs, he wanted them wrapped around his hips as he ground up into this man. He wanted to run a thumb of his cheek bones and take his mouth with his own.

Levi pulled his lower lip between his teeth and bit down. He was _not_ going to come. No way in hell was this brat going to grind out an orgasm from him. But _o-Oh_ did he know what he was doing. Titan’s hips just didn’t stop, his hands didn’t stop and when he leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I hope you had a nice time… Captain” Levi was gone. His hips jerked upwards and his hands flew out from underneath him, clutching at Titan’s waist. His fingers gripped the soft flesh as his continued to involuntarily thrust upwards riding out his orgasm.

Titan chuckled softly and began to prise himself out of Levi’s grip, getting off of his lap. Instantly Levi felt a loss of warmth and reach after it, then he remembered himself and snatched his hand back. He was breathing heavily, drawing in the oxygen in greedy lungfuls. “W-where the fuck did that come from?” Levi panted glaring.

Titan shrugged, “You seemed like the kind of guy that would like it” and with a reaction like that Titan wasn’t going to forget it, and should they ever meet again it could provide some entertainment. Levi stared at him for a second and then stood up. He visibly cringed as he felt the sticky mess in his pants “ _fuck…”_ he muttered making his way to the door.

“Hey” Titan called in order to get his attention, when Levi turned around he was thankful for his quick reflexes because a packet of wipes came hurtling towards him.

Levi gave a mumbled “thanks” and then headed out the door, making a beeline for the bathroom to sort himself out.

 

“There he is! So birthday boy how was?” Hanji practically screamed, Levi just glared at her, taking up the bar stool next to Erwin. He lifted up a hand indicating to the bar staff that he wanted to be served. Still ignoring Hanji and Erwin, Levi threw back a shot of Vodka and chased it with some Whiskey “that is disgusting. And it cannot be good for you. Jesus Christ” Hanji said scrunching up her nose at the thought “who washes down Vodka with Whiskey?”

Levi continued to ignore them staring aimlessly at his Whiskey glass. He rocked it from side to side listening to the ice chink against the sides. He shifted uncomfortably on the stool every now and then, attempting to avoid the damp insides of his boxers. Eventually he gave up and just sat there awkwardly, not really wanting to stay but also not wanting to leave. The booze really was good and despite his discomfort Levi really couldn’t be bothered to move. He didn’t feel like walking home with his boxers in the state they were but there was currently no point in calling a cab because he can quite happily stand. Although, Levi was planning on changing that. He was going to get so drunk tonight that he will wake up tomorrow, still drunk. So he knocked back drink after drink until he could feel a familiar blackness creeping the edges of his vision.

Hanji and Erwin had given up trying to talk to him long ago. Now he was just alone at the bar, enjoying his own company. Somewhere to his left Levi heard on of the bar staff, Jean, shout to someone “Hey Jaeger. I thought you weren’t coming back to the bar tonight.”

“Petra said you guys were understaffed. Besides I’m here and I don’t mind pulling extra shifts. You owe me one though!”

“What? You just said that you didn’t mind.”

“I’m still doing you a favour though horse-face”

“Watch it Jaeger. Now go fill up that guy’s glass” Jean said with a smirk on his face.

“Oh come on Jean you have got to be kidding me.”

“Go Jaeger”

“Yeah, yeah” the other voice muttered moving over to Levi’s end of the bar and stopping in front of him “You want another one?”

Levi nodded without looking up but his brow furrowed at the voice but he didn’t look up, just simply thrust the glass in the voice’s general direction. When the barman returned with a newly filled glass Levi did actually look up. His eyes met emerald green ones, bright and cheerful. Even through Levi’s intoxicated haze he recognised the man that had been straddling him only an hour ago.

Levi found his jaw hanging open, and he promptly snapped it shut letting out a pained groan, resting his forehead on the cold bar top “fuuuuck.”

The barman gave him the once over and then got back to work, punching Jean in the shoulder as he went past. Levi groaned again and lifted his head off on the stone only to hit it back down with a dull thud. He tilted his head to the side, watching the green eyed barman. Ewan? Erik? He couldn’t remember, it was hard enough to try and work out that Titan was even behind the bar. Let alone to try and read his little name badge that was far too small for any drunken brain to be able to read. And Levi was _very_ drunk. Throughout the rest of the night he found himself staring at his bright eyed brat.

 

Somewhere along the line Levi had blacked out because the next thing he knew her was flopped on the sofa in his apartment. He attempted to move but was met with a head rush and a wave of nausea. There was bright light filtering through the window, indicating it was long past morning. A glass of water and some painkillers had been left on the coffee table. Probably Erwin. He couldn’t imagine Hanji thinking that far ahead. Or maybe she had, Levi didn’t particularly care all he knew was that there was a hammer banging on his head and he needed those pills. Each move he made the banging got louder and his stomach swam. He swallowed the pills and gulped down the water in an attempt to make his throat feel a little less like sandpaper and quell the thumping in his head. Once he had managed to take the painkillers he flopped back down on the sofa, he felt utterly disgusting but he really couldn't face moving from his, suddenly very comfortable, sofa. His eyes fluttered closed again and he felt himself slipping back into unconsciousness.

 

When he awoke for the second time it was dark in the apartment, the light from outside was minimal and Levi suddenly realised that he had slept the entire day. Groaning he pulled himself into a sitting position. He had managed to sleep through all of his nausea but he head was still pounding. Levi leant forward, resting his head in his hands and sighed, his memory of the previous night was slowly returning to him. The thing that stuck out in his mind the most was a certain pair of green eyes that seemed to break through his mind no matter how fuzzy it was. Upon remembering those green eyes everything else soon followed. His entire body went rigid, his hands found their way into his hair. They clenched and pulled at his dark locks in frustration. “Fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm sorry it's late! Let me know if you spot any errors and I will correct them.  
> Not going to make any promises for when the next chapter will be up but it will be as soon as I can.  
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	6. Concerts and Sound Technicians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and his band have a concert, which has a rocky start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, but I hope you enjoy it!

“Levi! I can’t believe you’re not ready. You’re always ready!” Hanji shouted,

“Well it had to happen sometime. No one is perfect” Erwin replied

“Both of you shut the fuck up. I’m not that late” Levi growled, tying up the laces of his combat boots making sure his skinny jeans were firmly tucked into them. Standing up he adjusted his black V-neck and, after grabbing his leather jacket, made his way to the door “Come on then.”

“So what happened? You oversleep or what?” Hanji asked,

“Tch.”

“Nail on the head, ladies and gentlemen thank you and good night!”

“You rarely oversleep, what’s wrong Levi?” Erwin said his face etched with concern, his eyes flicking across Levi’s features.

“Couldn’t sleep. I’m tired as fuck, so I couldn’t really be arsed to get out of bed” he sighed glancing at Erwin in a look that could only be translated as _‘drop it or die’_.

“You’ll be okay for the concert though right? We can’t perform without our front man” Hanji piped up

“Yeah I’ll be fine as soon as I get some coffee or something”

Hanji’s eyes widened “You _never_ drink coffee!”

Levi just let it drop. He was too tired for this shit, all he wanted was either sleep or a hell of a lot of caffeine and there was no chance of him getting anymore sleep. So it looks like he had to put up with either bitter coffee or an energy drink and there was no way her was going to be putting one of those chemical cocktails into his body.

 

The three of them pulled up outside their venue, there was still a few hours before the concert started but the band always insisted on arriving early to help the staff set up. It wasn’t anything to do with kindness it was simply that Levi “didn’t trust the snot nosed brats because they would fuck something up”. As usual they were greeted at the door and shown to their dressing room after that the band was taken on a tour of the venue. The stadium was pretty big and the stage spanned from one side to the other instead of just occupying an area in the middle that was all too common “It looks like you guys will be able to move around” Hanji said looking at the enormous stage, “I wanna move around too dammit! Oh, oh, do you think they could put my drum kit on wheels?”

“No Hanji. We are not asking them to put you drum kit on wheels, that would not end well” Erwin chided.

“But Erwwiiiinnnn” Hanji whined

“No.”

“Hmpf, spoilsport.”

 

“We have an hour till show time ladies and gentlemen, let’s start the sound check!” someone announced.

The instruments were all set out on stage accompanied by their respective amps. The band strolled up the steps and took their places; Erwin and Levi grabbed their guitars and started strumming slowly coaxing them into tune. Hanji began hitting her drums and made sure all the tensions where right and none of the pedals were too stiff or too loose. When they were all happy they nodded to one another and told the staff they were ready and then they began to play a couple of songs to make sure that all of the compositions were right. But half way through their fourth song and with half an hour to go until the concert Levi’s microphone cut out. “Shit. What kind of piece of crap is this? I don’t have fucking time for this!” Levi snapped.

“It will be fine Mr Ackerman,” the man that seemed to be in charge of organising the event said, and then addressing someone over his walkie-talkie  “Tech to the main stage, we got a busted mic and make it quick. Don’t keep us waiting” there was a crackled reply but Levi couldn’t make out what it was and honestly he couldn’t care less.

“Where the hell is that tech” Levi yelled, as soon as the words left his mouth he heard steps walking towards him and a smooth voice replied “Right here Mr Ackerman, apologies for the wait. May I see you mic please.”

Levi whirled around at the voice “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Are you actually shitting me right now? Fuck me.” He ground out before thrusting his microphone in the hands of a certain green eyed brat.

“Right back at you Mr Ackerman. Now if you excuse me I have a job to do,” Eren spun on his heel and began walking away “I’ll get this back to you before the concert” he said nonchalantly lifting up the microphone.

When he was gone Levi turned round to see Hanji’s jaw on the floor and Erwin trying and failing to stifle a chuckle that was causing his shoulders to shake. He glared at both of his bandmates and practically snarled “Not a fucking word.”

Erwin had managed to pull himself together a little before smiling “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Hanji was still staring but had managed to pick her jaw up and her mouth was now stretched into a wide goofy grin. “Hanji” Levi warned.

“I didn’t say a word” she replied with that smile still plastered across her face.

“Let’s get back to work. I can do it without a mic.”

 

“Where the fuck is that brat we have 5 minutes until we’re on and I still don’t have a mic!” Levi shouted.

“Mr Ackerman please calm down we are doing our best”

“You best? Well your best isn’t fucking good enough is it!”

“Levi. Calm down. Don’t get so riled up, there is nothing you can do right now and shouting isn’t going to help anyone” Erwin said sternly as he placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder before turning to the rather frightened stage hand, “I apologies for his outburst. He is simply a little wound up, he doesn’t like things being unprepared” he finished flashing one of his signature smiles. The stage hand blushed slightly and then scurried away.

“Tch. Don’t apologise for me, I meant every word.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it. But seriously calm it… or has seeing him again really got to you that much.”

“Fuck off Erwin.”

Hanji’s eyes widened as she stared at Levi in disbelief “It has! Oh my good god, Erwin that’s it!”

“Shut the fuck up, shitty glasses” Levi said glaring at her, “I’m going for a smoke.”

“Levi we’re on in 3, don’t take too long” Erwin reminded him

“Yeah, yeah I know” Levi dismissed before stalking out of a fire exit to inhale his poison.

He stepped out into the cold and dug in his pockets for a cigarette and his lighter, gripping his cigarette in his index and middle fingers he lit it. He took a long drag, relishing the feeling of those toxins wrapping around his lungs. As soon as the nicotine hit his system Levi could feel his shoulders start to relax and the muscles in his neck unwind themselves. He stabbed his free hand through his hair and glanced up at the dark sky. It was a clear night, not a cloud to be seen. The stars were out and the moon was bright, hanging low and lazy in the sky. The lack of clouds caused the already cold evening to be colder and Levi let an involuntary shiver pass down his spine. After shivering again and deciding that it was too fucking cold he promptly finished his cigarette and returned inside.

As soon as his stepped back in he was met with chaos. He scanned for his bandmates before finding them talking to a very stressed out stage hand; Erwin had his face pulled with strained calm. Hanji was bouncing from side to side, a very rare motion she only did when she was anxious. “What happened? I was only gone for a minute, wait shouldn’t we be on stage like, now?” Levi said glancing back and forth between the stage hand and his band mates.

“One of the amps blew, the tech is looking at it now. On the bright side he managed to fix your mic” Erwin explained, “we’re going got have to go out and apologise to the crowd. The tech said it didn’t look good but he’ll do his best with what he has.”

“Okay then, we better get out there and talk to the crowd, keep them happy.”

Erwin simply nodded and handed the now fixed mic to Levi, “let’s go then”

 

When the three of them walked out on stage they were met with an eruption of noise which carried on until the three members stood front and centre. Levi pulled the mic up to his mouth and addressed the audience “Good evening everyone,” more screaming “we appreciate you guys coming out to see us tonight, you guys are awesome. I know we’re running a little late but unfortunately one our amps have blown and we are just waiting for the tech guy to fix it.” The crowd quietens to murmurs between themselves, “We’ll stay on stage and entertain you till it’s fixed don’t you worry about that. But we’re just asking you to bear with us.” Levi finished giving the crowd one of his stage smiles and there were some female screams from the front row. The band began to tell anecdotes from their tours and shared some inside jokes, and all the while Eren was working diligently on the broken amp.

There was a zapping sound followed by a loud “Fucking shit. Son of a bitch” that made Levi jump and glance over to the tech, who was glaring at someone off stage. Levi was pretty sure that if looks could kill whoever he was glaring at would have been dead. Without a microphone no one but the band members heard the boy’s heated cursing or saw the flailing of his left hand which was hidden behind them amp. Levi glanced back towards Hanji and Erwin before walking over to Eren, making sure to switch his mic off and said “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Someone just decided they wanted to fucking electrocute me. If I can just get this wire to play ball then it’s fixed but the little bastard just doesn’t want to get in place” Eren replied glaring at the wire in question. Levi looked over the brat’s shoulder and saw a mess of wires, how the kid knew which wire had come out of place was beyond him.

“Okay well keep trying, we’re running out of stories to tell over here.”

“What does it look like I’m doing? Just fuck off and let me do my job” Eren’s glare flicked from the wire to Levi and then back again. There was another zap and this time Levi saw what happened and flinched as Eren recoiled, snatching his hand away from the wire. “Turn it off you fucking moron! I need to get this fixed. I do not need you fucking sending a shit tonne of electricity down my hand” Eren roared, this time Levi heard the squeak that came from off stage, as well as the venom in Eren’s voice. Levi looked him over one last time and then re-joined his band members at the front of the stage.

After another 10 minutes all three members of The Survey Corps jumped at the sudden outburst from behind the amp. They turned to see Eren’s triumphant smile as he reassembled the back of the amp. He glanced up and gave them a thumbs up before standing and brushing off his trousers. “Okay guys thank you for being so patient but it looks like the tech has managed to work his magic and get the amp up and running again” Erwin announced which was met with a frenzied cheer.

“Right then, let’s get the show on the road!” Hanji shouted as she all but sprinted to her drum kit and sat herself down giving an excited drum routine which was met with a cheer. Levi quickly jogged over to Eren who was beginning to make is retreat “Hey, thanks kid” he said as he bent down to pick up his guitar.

“Well, it’s my job so no problem… Captain” he threw over his shoulder with a smirk and walked briskly off stage. Levi’s face heated at the comment, his hands freezing for a minute.

“That little shit” He said shaking his head.


	7. Drunk and Disorderly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell of a lot of dialogue. Not all of it relevant, but not all of it pointless.

“Thank you for coming out! We had a blast!” Levi said into the microphone before he took a quick bow and walked off stage with the other two members of The Survey Corps.

“You know I wasn’t sure he was going to get that amp fixed but I am so glad that he did” Erwin said,

“Yeah I know what you mean. That was a great concert, the whole place was buzzing” Hanji responded still on the high from performing.

“I’d figure he’d get it done. He seems to be a persistent guy” Levi said monotonously, which earned him a stare from both Erwin and Hanji. They glanced at each other and Erwin nodded slightly, Levi narrowed his eyes. They were up to something, and just like that Hanji took off somewhere, her arms flailing either side of her like some kind of penguin.

“Erwin.”

“Yes Levi?” he asked innocently,

“Where is Hanji going?”

“I’m not sure, why do you ask?” Levi narrowed his eyes further, they were practically closed now but Erwin’s smug smile was still visible.

“Erwin.”

“Yes Levi?”

“What are you and Hanji up too?”

“Nothing!” the quick response sat uncomfortably with Levi and he practically growled in response, “So shall we go and get a drink?” Erwin said that smile still spread across his face “You know The Garrison isn’t far from here” he added.

“I wouldn’t mind going to The Garrison actually, they really did have good booze.”

“It’s settled then to The Garrison we go.” Levi simply hummed in response as he finished packing up his guitar and slung it over his shoulder.

As the pair reached the door Hanji came running to meet them with a very startled looking Eren in tow. Levi looked at Erwin and shifted his gaze into a glare when he saw the smirk that was forming on the blond’s lips.

“Fuck you eyebrows… fuck you.”

“I can’t take all the credit” Erwin said turning his smirk on Levi. Hanji suddenly stopped in front of them causing Eren to practically trip over his own feet to stop before he crashed into her. Hanji was gulping down air with a big shit-eating grin stretched across her face aimed directly at a certain raven haired individual.

“Hey guys sorry I took so long! Where we heading? Oh yeah and by the way Levi, Eren will be joining us” she said with a wink.

“We were thinking of heading to The Garrison. And Hello Eren I don’t think I ever got the chance to properly introduce myself. I’m Erwin Smith, The Survey Corps’ bassist, it’s a pleasure to meet you”

Eren smiled in response “Eren Jaeger, nice you meet you” he said offering a hand, Erwin shook it politely. It was only when Eren looked away from Erwin that he noticed the distinct glare that Levi was giving him to which he provided a disarming smile, smirking when it caught Levi off guard.

“And in case you didn’t already know this is Levi Ackerman, The Survey Corps’ singer and lead guitarist” Levi glared up at Erwin as he was introduced before turning he stare back to Eren, raking his eyes over the younger man. Eren hummed in response and returned Levi’s stare right back to him. When Levi glanced back up he quickly turned around when he found Eren’s eyes on his own, “Let’s go then” he mumbled.

“So if he’s the lead it’s sort of like he’s the captain of your band right” Eren said to Erwin and Hanji. Levi could practically hear the smirk in his voice and he felt the familiar twitch of his eyebrow.

“Haha, I never thought about it like that” Erwin laughed,

“Yes, that is so perfect! Levi Ackerman, Captain of The Survey Corps! What do you think Levi?” Hanji asked and Eren snorted. His whole body was shaking in the effort it took to restrain the laugh that was obviously fighting to get out.

Levi pulled out his death glare on Hanji but she simply laughed in response, apparently that was all the cue Eren needed because laughter burst out of him. He doubled over and clutched at his stomach, tears were forming in the corners of his eyes as he struggled to breathe around his laughter. Erwin and Hanji were soon joining in but not laughing quite as violently as they were completely oblivious to the connotations of what they were saying. It was a private joke between Eren and Levi, that the brat had now roped his bandmates into without them even knowing why. Levi could feel his cheeks heating and his lips wobbled slightly as he tried to contain his smile “Come on assholes, let’s go” he muttered, “you look like lunatics.”

The three glanced at each other suddenly straightening up, “Yes Sir.”

 

“Jaeger, what are you doing here? Well since you’re here come give me a hand behind the bar!” Jean Yelled over the noise and the four of them sat down.

“Sorry Jean, I’m not working tonight and I really don’t feel like it either. Can we get some drinks please” Eren replied bluntly,

“Come on Jaegermeister, I just said that we were short staffed.”

“What’s your point? If I wasn’t here you wouldn’t have asked. Which means you can cope just fine on your own.”

“Jaeger!”

“Go do your job ponyboy. I’ll just have a coke” and after glancing at Erwin, Hanji and Levi in turn rattled off their orders as well “Erwin will have a glass of red, if a Isla Negra Merlot is open use that because it’s not as heavy, Hanji will have a dry martini with a lemon twist and Levi will have a whiskey on the rocks. Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t come crying to me when I don’t give you extra shifts when you ask for them.”

“I worked when you were understaffed last week Jean. I need some time to actually not work.”

“Whatever, I’ll bring your drinks over in a sec.”

Eren simply smiled after him but as soon as Jean’s back was towards him his smile turned sour. He remained that way for a moment until he remembers he was actually there with three other people. All the while Levi couldn’t stop looking at him, his eyes were simply drawn to the man that is Eren Jaeger. Suddenly he spoke up again interrupting Levi’s admiring “So did I get them right?” Eren asked looking at them.

“Yes! I can’t believe you remembered!” Hanji said clapping her hands together in front of her,

“Yep, and nice choice by the way a merlot would be perfect right now.” Erwin responded,

“I just hope you like it. It was either the Isla Negra Seashore Merlot or the Yellow Tail Shiraz but if I remember correctly the year we have for that was really sweet so I went for the Merlot” Eren shrugged.

“You got Levi’s right too by the way, he just doesn’t want to say anything.” Hanji chuckled

“I would have been hard to forget considering it was all I was serving him all night”

“Shut up, shitty brat.”  The said brat simply laughed in response and continued chatting with Hanji and Erwin. Levi was never one to contribute much to conversations but he was enjoying listening to Eren, he sounded like he was having a good time. _My god does this kid ever stop smiling_. There was a slight pink gracing Eren’s cheeks due to the temperature of the room and it only added to the adorable smile he had pulled his lips into. Levi shook his head slightly and returned his attention back to Hanji. She was talking about some show she did when she was younger, apparently the girl next to her got so nervous she threw up all over the boy in front of her and while both the girl and boy were wailing, Hanji simply sat there cackling to herself. He’s heard the story before but it always managed to make him grimace at the thought of something so disgusting.

Over Hanji’s shoulder Levi’s eyes locked with Erwin’s and suddenly he noticed the mischievous glint in the blond’s eyes. _What is he up to now?_

“Hey Hanji, want to come and watch the dancers?” Erwin asked her, his eyes flickering between Eren and Levi.

“What?” Hanji’s face was pulled into a confused frown but somewhere in that head of hers a light switch clicked on “oohhhhhhh. Yeah sure, let’s go” she said as she jumped off of the bar stool “see you two in a bit!”

Once the two goofballs left Eren and Levi alone for the first time that evening there was actually quiet around them. Well save for the pounding music and talking drunkards. Levi glanced over to look at Eren only to see that he was looking straight back at him. Emerald met onyx.

“So, you always give a guy a lap dance and then fix his mic?” Levi enquired which caused Eren to laugh quietly.

“Nope, only the special ones” he replied popping the p and sending Levi a wink, who raised an eyebrow

“Oh I’m special now am I?”

“Nah I was just joking” her said cracking a grin. Which earned him an elbow to the ribs, but that only made him chuckle. “What you want to be special?”

“Tch. Shut up.”

“You do! You want me to think that you’re special” the brown haired man laughed.

“Lies.”

“mhmm okay sure thing  princess.”

“Oh it’s princess now is it brat?”

“Yup, you know I think it suits you.”

“Fuck off Eren”

“There it is! Point for Jaeger!”

“What? Are you talking about?”

“That was the first time you said my name.”

“You were keeping track?”

Eren blushed a deep shade of red “W-what? No.”

Levi’s lips morphed into a sly grin “You were! Finally, something you’re embarrassed about.”

Eren frowned, the tips of his ears were still tinged with pink, and his eyes flickered from side to side like he was thinking about something. After a minute he piped up with an intriguing idea, “Hey you want to play drunk questions?”

Levi raised an eyebrow, “You challenging me to a drinking game pretty boy?”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“That is not what I meant but sure.”

“Good to know…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Back to the drinking thing, I wouldn’t say I was challenging you as such… just giving myself an excuse to ask you questions”

“Why do you want to ask me questions?”

“No reason” Eren replied far too quickly

 

“s’lemme get this straight… you, have liked Survey Corps for how long?” Levi asked with his cheeks tinted pink from the alcohol

“Like… I dunno maybe 4 years. I have a poster of you and everyffin”

“A poster… really? What are you a teenage fangirl?”

“Not teenage, but definitely a fangirl.”

"HA”

“Shuddup.”

“Wait… so you know who I was when I watched you dance that one time?”

“Yup. I didn’t know whether to be honoured or horrified. Like. Yeah man, massive inner turmoil going on up in here” Eren replied lazily tapping his temple,

“Sorry to take up so much of your precious brain power”

“s’all good man, s’all good”

 

“Okay. This is a very important question. Are you ready Levi?”

“Yes. Hit me with your best shot”

“So like, you know transformers… do they get life insurance or car insurance?”

“That… that is a very good question. Would they just get both? Or like you the car insurance count as there life insurance? Or would the life insurance count as car insurance? Gahh… you have broken my brain youngling.”

“Yesss… point for Jaeger”

“What? How many points are you on now anyway?”

“I have no idea… I lost count. Like maybe 5 against you and like 50 gazillion against Jean?”

“50 gazillion?”

“Yes. It’s a number”

“Okay whatever you say”

 

“So like, what is your favourite song by us?”

“Erm… that is a mean question”

“I’m a meanie. Answer the question”

“Either Forever or Bulletproof Love”

Levi stared at Eren mutely for a minute, even in his drunken state he was unable to cover the look of pain that shadowed his face, “Why?”

“Because they are so raw. Like whenever you sing them you seem so much more connected to the song and I can’t even begin to talk about the lyrics”

“I see.”

“I know it’s hardly original for those to be my favourites but I always like to think that I’m one of the few people that actually get what you’re saying and I know that’s stupid but it’s what I like to think and oh my god Levi are you crying?”

“No. There’s something in my eye.”

“Yeah. Tears. What’s wrong, was it something I said?”

“Tch. I’m fine it’s just the alcohol, forget about it.”

“Alcohol doesn’t make you cry for no reason, what’s wrong?”

“I said it’s nothing you nosy brat. Leave it.”

“You can tell me. Sometimes venting to a stranger, especially a drunk stranger, is the best way.”

“I’m not telling you shit. You know what just fuck off.”

“But Lev-“

“Fuck off” Levi shouted, glaring at Eren any trace of tears erased from his face. All that was left was anger, his onyx eyes hardened. Eren could see him piecing the walls back together, the walls that alcohol and good company had broken down. The walls that had been built so high but Eren had managed to get through, the walls that kept Levi’s more vulnerable emotions in check. Everything was kept behind those walls. The walls that Levi had been desperately trying to keep raised, frantically patching up the cracks. The walls that had come tumbling down just moments before.

Levi forced himself to look Eren in the eye. The younger man looked worried and confused, _what are you so worried about? You don’t even know me brat._ His green eyes were swimming with emotion, emotion that Levi couldn’t quite understand.

“If that’s what you want.” Eren said concern woven throughout his green eyes and hurt laced in every word. He stood to leave and Levi refused to watch him leave. His gaze didn’t follow the tanned man leave, he didn’t notice the way he paused by the door, he didn’t see the final glace that Eren gave in his direction. All Levi saw was the empty bar stool beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, I'm sorry it's late but better late than never right?  
> Any comments and kudos is welcomed and yeah, thanks again ^.^
> 
> By the way the song's are Forever by Papa Roach and Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil


	8. A Skeleton in the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is found unconsious by someone he was hoping he had gotten away from

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm... this fic has taken a turn for the dark. I had no clue this is the way it was going to go because I just write a chapter at a time with only a rough idea of plot. So yeah, quick warning in this chapter Levi is being held against his will in an apartment by someone from his past. If you have an issue with this sort of thing then I suggest waiting till the next update.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

_“My love for you was bulletproof, but you’re the one who shot me”_ Levi sang under his breath before snorting “And hit me, and kicked me, and broke me.”

Levi dropped his glass back onto the clean bar top and took a second to try and get the room to stop spinning before standing up. He began to make his way to the door a gracefully as he could, in an attempt to not seem as drunk as he was. He bumped into tables and people, he tripped over his own feet and nothing at all. Eventually he made outside and leant against the wall; he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Levi held the smoke in a shaking hand and drew it up between his lips. He took a long drag and felt the toxic fumes curl around his lungs, Levi sighed as he release the smoke into the night air. The longer he stood out in the cold the more Levi felt nauseous, he took in greedy gulps of air, his cigarette forgotten, in an attempts to calm his riling stomach.

Levi crouched, his back pressed against the rough brick wall and his head hanging forward into his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees. He stared at the swimming ground that just wouldn’t stop moving. He could feel heat rushing up his spine and he soon fell onto his hands sweating and heaving. Tears sprang to the corners of his eyes as his stomach forcible expelled its contents onto the street, sweat formed on his forehead and his shaking grew worse. Blackness began to edge his vision but at least he didn’t feel like he was going to vomit again. He sat back against the wall and scrubbed at his mouth. He couldn’t care less about the dirt right now, he just wanted to sit there for a bit.

“…evi… can…ou… hear…me?”

Levi groaned at the voice and frowned slightly. A shadow moved closer to him and he glanced up but all he saw was a black silhouette against the bright street lights. He leant his head back against the wall and stared absently at the shadow, not particularly caring who they were he just wanted them to leave him alone.

“Let’s get you home, wait here” the stranger said before leaving quietly. It wasn’t that Levi wanted to be bossed around by some Good Samaritan, he just couldn’t face moving. The pavement might have been dirty and cold but for now it was actually pretty comfortable, especially when everything else was moving around him. _Who did this guy think he was anyway? What business is it of his if I want to drink myself into the ground and pass out in an alleyway?_ Levi continued to frown to himself and his head lolled slightly to one side. It was just so heavy, he couldn’t hold it up straight anymore. He tried to fight away the darkness that was threatening to take over, he really did try. But he was so tired and his head felt fuzzy and he wasn’t really sure where he was anymore. In the end as soon as that silhouette returned Levi keeled over, his shoulder hit the pavement and his consciousness left him. The stranger sighed, gathering up Levi into his arms he walked towards the taxi that had just pulled up. Placing Levi carefully in the back seat, he gave the driver directions to his house. Considering that Levi had moved house since he had last saw him the stranger thought it would be best just to take him home with him.

Throughout the journey home the stranger couldn’t take his eyes off of Levi, his hair was just as dark and shiny as it always had been. He weighed a little more than he used to but it didn’t look like he had put on any weight so he must have been working out. The stranger smiled at the thought of Levi in the gym, he probably lifted more than the big guys who had been going for years. Levi could certainly do whatever he turned his mind to. He was always stubborn and he has never gone against a decision once he has made it, that’s just the kind of guy that he is. The stranger chuckled to himself as he thought about their past together, it had been one of the happiest times of his life. He would wake up in the morning and Levi would be by his side, he would come home from work and Levi would be there waiting. Levi was always there. Except when one day he wasn’t, the one day when he opened the door expecting Levi to be there and greet him like he always did… he wasn’t there. At the time the stranger had panicked and searched their flat, only to find that Levi’s draws were empty and his things were gone from the bathroom, he desperately searched from top to bottom. He searched and searched for something that Levi had left behind, he searched for some confirmation that Levi had been there at all. But found none. His world had crumbled around him as he came to the realisation that Levi had left. He had left him all alone against the world. Levi had deserted him and run off to who knows where with who knows who. Someone had taken his Levi away from him. They had taken the only thing that mattered. They had stolen him away, that must have been it. Levi would never have left him on his own. Someone must have taken him. And he was going to find them, he was going to hunt them down until he found his Levi. Until Levi was back in his arms.

After looking from city to city the stranger had not expected to find his dear Levi in some dingy alleyway. But he had, he had found Levi, his Levi. Now Levi was sitting in the back of a taxi with him on the way back to his apartment. He was going to be able to speak to Levi again, he was going to be able to ask him why he left after everything that he had done for him.

The taxi pulled up outside the apartment building and the stranger thanked him and pulled Levi back into his arms so he could take him inside. He walked into the building and climbed into the elevator and hit the button that would take them to his floor. While they waited for the elevator to come to a stop the stranger ducked his head and inhaled Levi’s scent. He sighed to himself and the familiar mix of pine and musk hit his senses, it had been so long since he had smelt that scent. He had tried to find someone with a scent even remotely similar but it had proven an impossible task, no one smelled quite as good as Levi. He took another deep breath of his scent, burning it into his senses. The elevator gave a small ding as the doors slowly slid open. The stranger stepped out of the elevator and juggled Levi and trying to retrieve his keys out of his back pocket. Eventually he managed it and he walked them into his apartment carefully closing the door behind him and heading to the bedroom.

He pulled back the covers and placed Levi on the bed as though he were made of glass. Gradually he began to take of Levi’s clothes, after all they wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep in, considering that they were damp and dirty. He began with his feet, removing his shiny combat boots and placed them neatly at the side of the bed, he then returned to take off his socks and placed them inside each boot. Next he undid Levi’s silver studded belt and began to shimmy off his tight skinny jeans, the trousers were definitely appreciated after all they did make his legs look amazing. The stranger smiled to himself as Levi’s legs were revealed to him, he had been right, Levi had definitely been working out. His pale legs were toned and sculpted to perfection. The stranger had thought that the man had been perfect before but seeing him now he knew that he had been wrong. Just looking at Levi’s pale, smooth skin made his mouth water, he wanted to mark it. He wanted to suck it and leave his marks across his body. He forcibly pushed those thoughts away and moved to take off Levi’s shirt. With his hands running up either side of the unconscious man’s body he dragged off the fabric and folded it. He placed it next to his shoes, socks and jeans, everything was folded and perfectly placed. The stranger looked over Levi and debated taking off his boxers as well, after a minute he figured he might as well. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Levi naked before anyway.

After Levi’s boxers were off and folded with the rest of his clothes the stranger walked round to the other side of the bed and got in, he pulled up the duvet so that the both of them were covered and he placed his head on to the pillow. As much as he tried he couldn’t take his eyes off of Levi, it felt amazing to have him back by his side, to feel that warmth next to him that he had longed for ever since it had been stolen from him. A smile stretched across his face as he finally convinced himself that yes, Levi was there and he could close his eyes and fall asleep. With a final inhale of Levi’s scent he closed his eyes and fell into a peaceful sleep.

 

Levi slowly blinks awake and suddenly freezes at the uncomfortable warmth that has surrounded his body. Ever so slowly he turns his head to the side and his blood runs cold. A mop of blond hair was splayed across the pillow behind him, a familiar sense of dread hit him like a tonne of bricks. Levi slowly began to shift; he had to get out of the bed, out of the apartment. His head was pounding and he can’t really remember anything after telling Eren to leave, he certainly didn’t remember being picked up by the man that he had run away from. He eased himself out of the bed and as he shifted he realised to his dismay that he was completely naked. A disgusted shiver ran down his spine as he realised that Mike had undressed him. He glanced around and found that his clothes were neatly folded and piled at the foot of the bed, in one swift movement he got up and grabbed his clothes making a beeline for the bathroom. Once he had found it and locked the door behind him Levi actually allowed himself to begin processing his current situation. His breathing became shallow and his heart raced, he dropped to his knees and clutched at his chest wishing that his heartbeat would just slow down, it was so loud that it thundered in his ears and he couldn’t hear himself thing. His breath was rapid and he couldn’t get any air into his lungs. His hands were shaking and his whole body was trembling. _Get a grip Levi. Jesus Christ, get a fucking grip!_

He began to count in his head, he clung to those numbers. Gradually he began to regain control of his breathing and his heartrate followed. He remained on the floor for a moment and he calmed himself down. Slowly he eased himself to his feet and got dressed, cringing slightly at the dirt that caked the bottoms of his jeans. He yanked on his combat boots and laced them up, making sure that they were secure. He patted his pockets and to his relief he found his phone, quickly he dialled Erwin’s number. Levi waited but Erwin didn’t pick up. Panic began to grip Levi again, he had left a voice mail but there was no telling when Erwin would get it. He decided to try Hanji, he jabbed her number into the keypad and hit the green call button. He didn’t have to wait this time, it went straight to voicemail. He left a message for Hanji too, this one sounding a little more panicked than the one for Erwin.

Levi blew out a breath and began pacing. Neither Hanji nor Erwin were picking up and he had to get out of there as fast as he could, but he had no idea where he was. He could just walk out of the apartment but then what? He played a few scenarios out in his head as he waited for one of his friends to call him back. He couldn’t think straight. Normally he would have no problem in just walking out of there but something in his gut told him that it wouldn’t be that easy and at the moment he was safe in the bathroom. He was safe behind the locked door. So he sat down. He sat there on the bathroom floor staring at his phone as he waited for Erwin or Hanji to call.

Just then Levi heard movement from outside the door. Mike was awake. “Levi?” he called into the apartment. Levi’s hand flew to his mouth and his eyes went wide _shit he’s awake._

 “The door is locked so you must still be in here somewhere” Levi bit back a laugh, he knew it. There would have been no point in trying, the door had been locked the whole time. He was trapped in the bathroom and it was only a matter of time for Mike to realise where he was.

Levi jumped when his phone began to ring, he didn’t even glance at the caller ID he just answered. “Hello?” he had just assumed that it was either Erwin or Hanji so when Eren’s voice chirped back he was stunned.

“Levi are you okay? You sound freaked” Eren asked, “I got your number through Hanji in case you were wondering. I was just calling to apolog-”

“I don’t care why you’re calling. I need your help.” Levi cut in, whatever it was that Eren wanted to say he could say it later. Right now Levi needed him to get him out of here because obviously Erwin and Hanji weren’t going to call him anytime soon.

“What do you need Levi?” Eren replied concern slipping into his voice almost instantly, and Levi couldn’t help the small smile that creeps onto his face despite his situation.

“I need you to come and pick me up”

“Sure thing, where are you?”

“Erm… I don’t know and I really need you to hurry”

“How can I come and get you if I don’t even know where you are?” Eren sighed

“Look, I’m locked in this guy’s apartment and I really need you to find me and get me out. I’ll explain everything later okay… I… I just really need you right now.”

“You’re locked in a guy’s apartment?! Why didn’t you open with that?”

“Eren I really don’t have time to think right now. Please hurry.” Levi said down the phone sounding far more desperate than he intended. Footsteps passed outside the doorway and he held his breath. “Oh I should have known. You’re having a shower right Levi?” Mike’s voice came from behind the door but Levi didn’t say a word until he heard the footsteps start moving away. When he raised the phone back up to his ear he was met with Eren’s panicked repetition of his name.

“I’m fine, he thinks I’m having a shower.”

“If you have your phone with you, why didn’t you call the police. They could get there faster than I can.”

“No. No police, don’t you dare call the police. Y-you can’t call them, understand? Promise me you won’t call them!”

“Okay, okay... I promise, but you’re going to have to explain later. Levi, do you have GPS on your phone?”

“ _Fine_ just hurry up! And er, yeah… yeah I think so.”

“Turn that on and look up your location, I’m getting in the car…”

“Don’t you dare hang up brat”

“I won’t, find out where you are and text it to me. Once you do that I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

Levi pulled his phone away from his ear and put Eren on speaker, then he went to the settings page and switched on his GPS. It took a second to link up and Levi found himself tapping his fingers on the ground to try and get rid of some of his nervous energy. Once his location pops up Levi blinks at it for a second in slight disbelief, he was in Trost. It was a whole hour and a half away from the Garrison. He took a shaky breath and texted the address to Eren and put the phone back to his ear.

“Okay got it. Er Levi, I will be there as fast as I can but you are literally miles away. It will take at least an hour for me to get there. I really think you should call the police, they could get you you in 10 minutes.”

“NO! You promised Eren, don't call them. I know it will take a while just do your best.”

Eren grunted in frustration and worry “Okay, try and stay in the bathroom. I’ll stay on the phone but won’t say anything unless you talk to me directly.”

“Okay."

“Oh and Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Try and find out the room number.”

“Yeah.”

Levi put the phone back in his pocket making sure that the call was still going. Someone was coming for him, Eren was coming for him. All he had to do was stay in the bathroom for another hour and a half.

“Hey Levi… who’re you talking to in there?” Mike asked his voice cold and calculating. Levi glanced down and he could see his shadow coming underneath the door.

“No one” Levi replied, there was no point in keeping quiet anymore.

“I made breakfast for you. Why don’t you come out and eat it?”

“Actually Mike, I’m not feeling very well. I drank too much last night so I would prefer to stay in here.”

“I see. Well in that case why don’t you let me in so I can take care of you?”

“I’m fine on my own thank you.”

Mike chuckled “Oh my darling Levi, you know that wasn’t a question. Let me in.” Levi’s blood ran cold as Mike began thumping on the door. At first it was just a small knock but it soon escalated until the hinges began to rattle “Levi, come on baby let me in” Mike sang.

The hinges stopped rattling and Levi felt worse about that because he no longer knew where Mike was or what he was doing. He waited silently for a few minutes with baited breath as he tried to work out what Mike was up to. He wanted to talk to Eren again but that would only distract the kid.

After a few minutes heavy footsteps returned towards the door and Mike said “Levi. This is your last chance. Let. Me. In.”

Levi stayed silent but decided it would be best to move away from the door. Slowly he picked his way across the bathroom and crouched behind the bath, it probably wouldn’t help a lot but it was the best place he could hide for now. Levi could hear rattling and peaked around the corner of the bath to see the screws slowly dropping out of the hinges. One by one they were taken out of the door. With each screw that left the door Levi’s dread built. He quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and whispered to Eren “He’s taking the door off of its hinges. He’s coming Eren.” In the background Levi could hear the engine of the car running it took Eren a second to reply “Stay calm Levi. Do what you need to to stay safe and we’ll sort it out when I get there, I’m on my way.”

“Okay. Stay on the phone”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Levi stuffed the phone back into his pocket just as the final screw hit the floor and the door burst open. Mike just stood there smiling at him, “Good morning sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the update!  
> Sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes, I will fix those at a later date.  
> Thanks again! ^.^
> 
> (Last edited 16th Aug)


	9. Little Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi no longer has a bathroom to hide in

Seeing that misleading smile again dragged Levi back into the past. It yanked him kicking and screaming back to a time when he and Mike were together. Back when he would smile right back, blissfully ignorant of the beast he was dating.

But Levi hadn’t stayed naïve for long; he soon saw his boyfriend’s restless hands and the possessiveness in his eyes, he soon saw that Mike twitched when Levi touched someone else. It didn’t matter who it was, a stranger brushing past in the street, a brief handshake when he was introduced to someone, and especially when it was someone who Levi knew familiarly. Whenever Isabelle had tackled him with a warm hug Mikes hand would twitch at his side and as soon as Levi was released by the girl Mike’s possessive hands would be on him. As though he was proving a point, establishing his dominance. Levi wasn’t a person in their relationship he was merely a possession, something that could be thrown around whenever Mike was angry, something to be hugged when Mike needed warmth. Levi was whatever Mike needed him to be. It was far too late when Levi noticed the way that he cringed whenever Mike touched him or the way he flinched whenever the larger man moved closer to him.

When you have been fooled into believing that you love a person barriers become distorted; each violent outburst, no matter how deliberate was always just an accident. A firm hand cracking against his cheek and a gentle caress of love became one in the same. It was hard to distinguish one from the other, each came out of the blue, and each made him flinch all the same. Both caused Levi to retreat into himself and construct elaborate walls around his mind. The hand that so lovingly cared for him each day was the same that filled him with unrelenting fear.

Levi continued to believe that this twisted treatment was what it meant to be loved. In the beginning he was confused, Mike had only ever been treating him gently he had only ever been kind and loving. They would have warm baths together until the water became too cold to bear, they would spend lazy evenings curled up on the sofa watching movies and drinking hot chocolate.

Then one day Mike had snapped, Levi couldn’t even recall what he had done to cause such a reaction from the man, but with a smack across the right cheek hard enough to draw blood it became obvious that he had done something wrong. He must have done something to make his boyfriend react with such a violent explosion of anger, eyes swimming with hurt, confusions and a deep sense of betrayal, he asked why. The word had come out choked and laced with shock, but that little word had only earned him a second slap. There was no explanation from the other apart from a muted “I did that because I love you. You’re mine.” and that was the end of that.

As time passed these outbursts slowly began to become more and more common, they gradually began to get worse and worse. It was no longer simply a slap across the face and a few harsh words, it was being thrown on the floor and covered in bruises, and having his pale skin painted black and blue.

On top of the outward abuse to his body Levi’s mind suffered just as hash a torment. With each kick of a shiny black loafer that landed between Levi’s ribs, sweet nothings where whispered down to him. The honeyed words came paired with pain slowly began to destroy him, so gradually he withdrew from everyone. He withdrew into the deepest darkest corner of his mind. He simply stopped thinking, stopped questioning what was happening because it made it all that little bit easier to comprehend. He barely had any contact with Erwin and Hanji despite their determined perseverance, he was alone in his own personal world of painful love.

Slowly Levi became less and less of a person and more like a doll, a hollow vessel that Mike could fill with whatever he so wished. All he had to do was put the suggestion into Levi’s head and the shorter, fragile man would agree.

It was twisted and sickening but it was all that Levi knew of love, it was what Mike had taught him was love. The blond man’s sliver tongue had his stomach full of butterflies and his cruel body had his own flinching in anticipation of what was about to happen. There was never a routine and Levi could never worked out what triggered the abuse, Mike simply did as he pleased whenever it pleased him to do it. He would force himself on Levi after beating him until he was a crumpled mess on the floor. He would force himself on Levi when Levi had initially been sleeping only to be woken up by Mike’s rough, intrusive touch. Mike took Levi apart piece by piece and then placed him back together again, only to repeat the process until Levi was too broken to be put back together. Until Levi’s shining onyx eyes were no longer sparkling gems that flashed with challenge, they were instead dead and glassy.

 

But Levi had got out, he had left and he had never looked back.

 

And now the person behind all of his torment was standing in the doorway a screwdriver in hand with a bright smile plastered on his face. “Are you feeling better, sweetie?”

Levi shuddered and avoided meeting the man’s beastly gaze and simply nodded his head. “That’s good to hear. Come and have some breakfast, you must be hungry.” He said remaining in the doorway never taking his eyes off of Levi, when the man remained motionless Mike took a step forwards and repeated his statement. Slowly, cautiously Levi unfurled himself from his position on the floor and stood up. Step by slow step Levi made his way over to the bathroom door, he paused and stared as the cold white tiles ran into the dark carpet. A sudden noise came from the kitchen that made Levi jump, looking away from the threshold he continued walking towards the noise. Eren was on his way, he was going to come and get him, he just had to stay calm and get through this. He just needed to find out the floor and room number and then Eren would be able to come and take him away from here.

“Sit down, love”

Levi pulled out a chair and sat down mutely, a plate of sausages, bacon and eggs was placed in front of him. He stared at it for a while before he began to eat; he could feel Mike’s eyes on him, watching every little thing that he did.

“You know I was so worried that I’d lost you forever. I looked from city to city and couldn’t find you, not a single trace. But then heard someone talking about a Levi Ackerman and I thought it couldn’t possibly you. It couldn’t be _my_ Levi. Then I saw you on stage and it was like you were glowing, you looked so pretty up there. I was completely mesmerised by you, it was like you were singing to no one but me. So I started going to all of your concerts, I followed you on all of your tours, I mean I had finally found you again I couldn’t just let you go. Sure tickets to your shows cost me the earth but I couldn’t lose my angel, my precious Levi.” Levi shuddered; Mike had been at every concert for who knows how long. He had been there somewhere in the crowd the whole time, all this time Levi had thought of himself as safe, he had thought he was far away from Mike.

“When I found you passed out in that alleyway I couldn’t believe my luck, you were just lying there looking so defenceless. I thought that this was it, this was my chance to take you back from those two kidnappers that stole you away from me. I had been planning to force them to give you back, but as it turned out I didn’t have to. It was fate that brought us together last night, it was destiny that brought you, the other half to my soul, back to me.” Mike finished, all the while gazing at Levi like he was the only other person on earth. Levi on the other hand felt like he was about to throw up, he placed the knife and fork back on the plate and took a long drink of water. Somewhere during Mike’s speech his hands had started trembling again and he had broken out into a cold sweat, he could feel that his hands were clammy and little beads of moisture were trailing down his spine.  He kept repeating in his head over and over ‘ _floor and room number, I need to get the floor and the room number’_ it was this mantra that allowed him to keep his breathing even, despite the fact his body was screaming for him to be anything but calm right now. He decided to get up from his seat and move over to the window, he gazed across over the small town.

“You like the view, little bird?” Mike whispered in Levi’s ear, his warm breath made Levi’s hair stand on end. His voice reverberated against the back of his neck and a large hand landed on his shoulder and the other at his waist, Levi shuddered in disgust.

Levi swallowed and attempted to find his voice, “H-how…” he stopped, cleared his throat and tried again, “How high up are we?” he asked, his voice coming out a little more wobbly than he would have liked. Mike hummed and rubbed his nose along the back of Levi’s ear and murmured “Seventh floor… high enough up that if I press you against this window and took you right here no one would ever know” Mike replied trailing a hand up Levi’s stomach, the shorter man cringed but didn’t move. He just needed to know the room number. That’s all that was left to find out. The only issue was that he couldn’t think of a subtle way to find out so he decided to just ask outright, “Mike… what’s the apartment number?” Mike seemed to be thoroughly distracted with assaulting Levi’s body he answered with a muttered “142” he had said it far too quietly for the precious number to reach the phone. Mike’s hand was making its way down his naval and Levi couldn’t stand it anymore, his entire body was screaming at him to pull away. Everywhere the other man touched caused Levi’s skin to crawl.

Slowly he moved a hesitant hand to his pocket and wrapped his fingers around the phone. In one motion he brought an elbow backwards to connect with Mike’s stomach and he then spun on his heel and shoved Mike away. Mike let out a dry heave and bent over coughing, but Levi didn’t wait around for him to recover. As soon as Mike’s grip was gone from his skin Levi sprinted into the living room and slapped the phone against his ear, “I’m on the seventh floor! Room 142! Seventh floor! Room 142!” Levi urgently reported to Eren.

“Seven and 142. Got it, I will be there in 30 minutes!” Eren’s determined voice came through the phone, “Hang on Levi.”

“LEVI!” Mike roared from the next room, Levi could practically feel his anger from where he was standing. His body froze, his body went completely rigid and his blood ran cold. Now Levi was terrified, now he started to panic. With a shaking had he shoved the phone back into his pocket and looks around desperately. He saw nothing that could help him, not a damn thing. As thundering footsteps made their way towards him Levi found himself backing up, but there was nowhere for him to go. The bedroom door didn’t lock and even if it did it would just end up like the door to the bathroom, the front door was locked and there was no time to search for a key, and there was nowhere to hide. It took no time at all for Levi to notice the hulking blond that was standing in the doorway, his face was red with rage and each hand was balled into a shaking fist.

Mike to a step forward, Levi took one back. Another step forward and another step back, it was like a dance between two partners who were perfectly in sync. Mike took another step forward, Levi went to take a step backward but he was met by a wall. He glanced over his shoulder hoping that the wall wasn’t really there, the wall was there however and Levi no longer had anywhere to go. Levi pressed himself flush against the wall, pressing his cheek to the wall, and Mike continued coming towards him. His slow pace was only more terrifying; each deliberate, heavy thud caused Levi to flinch.

 

Mike stopped right in front of him. He could feel the furious man’s breath on his cheek, an iron grip gabbed his chin and wrenched it around until Levi was looking directly into Mike’s eyes. Fingers dug into Levi’s cheeks and merely tightened when Levi tried to wriggle out of the hold. Mike’s eyes were burning with anger, and those eyes never left Levi’s it felt like they were taking him apart piece by piece, it was like those eyes could see into his very core. That gaze was intrusive, possessive and _mad_. Mike’s anger scared him, it had always scared him. But Levi had never seen this, never seen the manic glint that was in Mike’s eyes now. After what seemed like an eternity Mike spoke, and Levi wished he hadn’t.

 

“That wasn’t very nice my little bird. Am I going to have to clip your wings?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the update!  
> Next chapter will be up next weekend at the latest,  
> sorry for any mistakes and I will see you next update, bye!
> 
> P.S. I am so sorry for the cliffhanger habit that is developing... no I'm not mwahahahaha


	10. Clipped Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes through hell.
> 
> (Look at the tags and warnings)

Levi’s eyes widened with fear and Mike’s grip tightened around his chin, the nails of his fingers leaving red crescents in the flesh. Mike leaned in closer and smashed his lips against Levi’s, the grip on his cheeks remained and Levi couldn’t turn away. He just stood there for a moment paralysed while Mike ravaged his mouth, his tongue stabbed between Levi’s lips. Levi bit down on the sudden invasion, hard enough to draw blood. Mike jerked his head backwards the rage in his eyes burning brighter than Levi had ever seen it, the manic shine morphed into a wicked look of glee. His grip slipped from Levi’s jaw to his neck and ever so slowly he pressed against the skin. Levi’s eyes widened at the new grip, his hands reached up to grasp at Mike’s wrist. Mike’s fingers began to close together, slowly cutting of the air to Levi’s lungs. The shorter man began to gasp and scratch at Mike’s wrist but the grip didn’t falter it only became tighter. Soon Levi’s mouth simply fell open uselessly, he wasn’t getting any air and his vision was turning hazy. His throat and lungs burned with the need of oxygen.

Desperately Levi lifted his left foot and thrust it forward with all the strength his could muster. He had to make Mike stop before he killed him. He hadn’t been aiming for anywhere in particular; he simply just lashed out at anything that was within his reach, the kick landed on Mike’s shin. A brief grimace flashed over Mike’s features but the rage soon washed it away. Mike lifted Levi until his feet were no longer on the ground, the shorter man’s leg flailed looking for another point to bury his foot in but he found none. Mike left him hanging there for a brief moment, revelling in how helpless Levi was. His pathetic and desperate thrashing was completely adorable; there were only few moments that Levi let anyone panic him like this. Mike smiled sweetly and ran the thumb of his free hand over Levi’s cheek bones, he was so gentle, so caring. The tender motion completely contrasted the hand that was still clamping around Levi’s neck, bruising the flesh and crushing his throat.

In one fluid motion Levi was flung to the ground, he gasped for air and forced his throat to start working again now that it was free from the constriction. His hand clutched to his burning chest, the relief to be able to breathe again swept over him, it was something he would never take for granted again. From his position on the floor Levi glared up at Mike who was staring at him with an amused and affectionate smile on his face. The taller man crouched by his face and looked into his onyx eyes, “You know I loved you Levi. I still do, I have never stopped loving you.”

Levi opened his mouth to offer a retort but his voice simply came out in an undecipherable croak. Defiance shone in those dark depths even for a brief moment, before his courage left him Levi spat at Mike and made an effort to get up. Apparently unaffected by the saliva that had landed on his foot Mike simply regarded Levi’s feeble attempt at standing with disapproving eyes. After deciding that he has had enough with watching Levi’s disobedience stood to his full height, lifted the same foot that Levi’s spit had landed, and stomped down between Levi’s shoulder blades.

Levi’s arms collapsed under the force and his body hit the floor. Mike smiled affectionately as he once again lifted his foot, this time it buried itself into Levi’s gut. The air from his lungs once again left him and instead was replaced with pain. Levi hacked and coughed, spluttering at the sudden focused pain. Before it had just generally been his whole chest on fire and it burned with need for air. But this… this was a pinpointed attack, the pain was concentrated in one area and that only made it hurt more. Again the foot rained down this time landing on his hip bone, whereas his stomach was soft and had absorbed some of the blow his hip refused to give. It remained where it was and took the blow at full force, Levi hissed in pain as it slowly ebbed away into an ache.

The ache reminded him of previous pain and promised that more pain was to come. Then Mike began kicking him in quick succession, he no longer gave Levi the chance to recover from one before he was planting another. Levi’s body soon began to remember how to react to the harsh treatment, it slowly started to relax into each kick, absorbing as much of the impact as possible and trying to protect his bones. “Do you remember this love Levi? Do you remember how much you ache with love for me?” Mike said softly. Levi did ache. He ached with pain that was burrowing into his body with each kick, he ached with each word that came out of Mike’s mouth, he ached with yearning that Eren would come and get him. He ached with the memory of his relationship with Mike and it hurt. All of it hurt. Levi was drowning. Sinking back into the past, back into his own little world of painful love. His eyes were already glossing over, Mike’s sweet nothings were filling his ears nothing else was relevant other than those caring words and the punishing bruises that were blossoming across his skin. He was being painted black and blue, the dark angry colours stood out against the smooth pale skin.

The only thing that was stopping him from completely slipping away was the small rectangle that was stuck in the pocket of his jeans. That small phone was the only thing keeping Levi anchored to reality. Knowing that Eren was on the other end of the line and on the way to come and get him was enough for Levi to stay in the present.  This pain wasn’t as bad as it was in the past, he wasn’t trapped here with his monster forever. That small little object suddenly seemed like the world. As Mike continued to plant savage blows into his body, even as the pain refused to ebb away Levi could hold onto the fact that Eren was coming for him.

 

Suddenly Mike stopped. Never taking his eyes off of Levi he crouched down again so that he was closer to eye level and Levi didn’t have to crane his neck in order to meet his eyes. Taking a handful of hair Mike wrenched Levi towards him and smashed his lips against the other’s. Levi refused to respond. He didn’t want this, he never wanted it. His body ached too much to put up an actual fight so Levi simply remained unresponsive. Levi kept his lips pursed together as Mike continued to ravage them, he ran his tongue along Levi’s lower lip trying to gain entry. Levi refused. He forced his lips into a line and kept them that way, it was only when Mike pinched his nose and cut off his air supply did Levi open his mouth. He gasped for air, but along with it came Mike’s tongue. He watched as Mike’s eyes fluttered closed blissfully, like all the man needed was Levi. He shuddered in disgust and bit down. Hard.

Mike flinched, his eyes flying open as he retracted his lips from Levi’s. Growling he released the grip on Levi’s hair and abruptly stood up, regarding the man that was sprawled on the floor. Something that Levi had never seen before flashed across Mike’s eyes. There was an unsettling calmness that surrounded each of Mike’s actions, they were all deliberately precise. His kicks had never become erratic, they were all methodically placed, spanning across Levi’s torso. And now was no different, Mike’s gaze was calculating, and cold. Ice blue and a bright sparkle, his eyes looked alive and full of life, they were beautiful. Those eyes were what Levi had initially fallen in love with but now he could do nothing but hate them. Those eyes were the gateway to his past and that was somewhere he never wanted to go. Those eyes were swallowing him up, piece be tiny piece. Those eyes grazed over his body, scrutinising every detail and Levi couldn’t help but shift slightly so that the bulge of the phone was hidden from view.

That small shift in position seemed to be all that Mike was waiting for. His eyes locked onto Levi’s pocket and offered a small smirk “Are you hiding something from me, my angel?”

Levi’s eyes widened and slowly shook his head. No. Unfortunately Mike didn’t seem convinced, he grabbed Levi’s arm and dragged him to his feet “I’m going to ask you again sweetheart. Are you hiding something from me?” Levi swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat and shook his head again. No. A vein in Mike’s forehead pulsed and his lips tugged downwards with disapproval, “Oh Levi. Why do you insist on lying to me?” those icy eyes shone with malice. Sighing deeply Mike pulled Levi into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. Levi struggled against the bruising grip but Mike was unfazed by the thrashing. He simply continued striding forwards, his fingers digging into Levi’s tender flesh. “Hush now little bird, you brought this on yourself. Okay, precious? I love you but it seems that you have forgotten that. It’s time I remind you.”

Mike dumped Levi onto the bed and pinned his wrists above his head with one large hand. He straddled the smaller man, locking his legs in place with his thighs. His free hand caressed the contours of Levi’s face, carefully and tenderly running his palm over the soft flesh. The movement paused. Then all too quickly the hand left and returned bringing with it a spark of pain, Levi’s head snapped to the side and his cheek stung. He tried to bring his hands down to cradle his face but Mike’s hands stopped him. Levi couldn’t move to soothe his aching cheek, he couldn’t crawl away from Mike, he couldn’t fight back, he was helpless.

“Levi. This is the last time I am going to ask you. What are you hiding in your pocket?” Levi shook his head again and offered a tiny “nothing” as he scrunched his eyes together. He hid from Mike’s eyes in the darkness, he refused to see the anger that he had managed to evoke. There was a sound of shifting fabric but Levi didn’t open his eyes. He felt something smooth entrap his wrists, replacing Mike’s calloused hands but it still offered no way out. Levi peeked through his lashes and saw that Mike’s tie was missing, he glanced upwards and confirmed his suspicions. Mike’s tie was laced around his wrists connecting him to the headboard, the black fabric was tied into a neat, mocking, bow.

“Now then my little bird, let’s take a little look at what you were hiding and then we can have some fun.” Mike said and his hands reached for Levi’s front pocket, Levi struggled. He twisted and turned but Mike refused to budge, he remained atop of the thrashing man and simply grabbed the phone. Glancing at it momentarily Mike noticed that there was an ongoing call. Levi stared in horror as Mike brought the phone up to his ear and began speaking into it.

“Hello”

…

“This is Mike and who might you be, the caller ID just says _The brat?”_

…

“I see. Well Eren, it seems that you are unaware of the situation. Levi is mine. Despite what you might think, Levi and I are in love and that is something you can never hope for. I suggest you give up one your little delusion that Levi has some sort of feelings for you. He is mine, do you hear me? Do you understand Eren? I’m sure you’re smart enough to comprehend such a simple little thing, you cannot take him away from me. I lost him once and I refuse to let him go again.”

…

“Oh but you see he is mine. He is mine to do with as I see fit, because I treasure him.”

…

“Now, now no need to shout, I can see why Levi calls you a brat. You are certainly proving yourself to be stupid.” Mike looked down at Levi and a slow smile stretched over his lips, “You know, I think I’ll keep you on the phone. That way it will become painfully clear that Levi is mine. You’ll be able to hear every little sound, every whimper. Are you ready to hear it Eren? Are you ready to hear Levi crying out my name?” Mike chuckled pulling the phone away from his ear slightly for a moment, Levi heard tiny snippets of Eren’s voice as it crackled through the phone’s speakers. The phone was soon replaced to Mike’s ear, “I’m setting you down now. I’m afraid I won’t be able to hear you from now onwards. Enjoy the show.”

Levi’s eyes widen as Mike sets the phone down on the bedside table, he bent down and whispered in Levi’s ear, “This will teach you to talk to other men while you’re with me. Let’s bring that boy’s perfect image of you crashing down. It’s time to clip your wings little bird.”

Levi shuddered in disgust and glanced at the phone. He stared at it. Hoping that somehow Eren would simply come through it and save him. But Eren never came. He was still miles away. And now Mike was tugging off Levi’s jeans and his shirt soon followed, it hung just above his head getting trapped there by the restraints. Mike’s hands were on him, trailing light touches across the expanse of his pale skin and Levi cringed at the contact. His skin crawled and rejected Mike’s touch. He was disgusted and tried to shrink further into the mattress, he tried to escape Mike’s touch. Soon Mike’s tongue replaced his hands, carving slick trails over his flesh. Every now and then he would blow over the trails cause Levi to shiver from the cold. Levi’s breathing became heavy as he continued to try and struggle against Mike but there was nothing he could do. He was slowly beginning to run out of energy as his bruised body began to fight his commands. Mike pressed into each of the bruises causing a new wave of pain to ignite and wash over Levi. He whimpered in pain and uselessly kicked his legs. Mike merely tutted and smacked his thigh, resulting in another cry of pain.

Suddenly Levi was being flipped onto his stomach, the extra turn in the tie made it uncomfortably tight on his wrists and Levi began to lose feeling in his hands. Mike placed a hand on the back of his head and pressed Levi’s face into the mattress, the other hand hooked under his hips and raised Levi onto his knees. With his arse presented for Mike’s viewing Levi closed his eyes and felt shame wash over him, he willingly pressed his face into the mattress. Mike began to knead the soft flesh that was so nicely displayed before him, with gentle hands he caresses the curved plains of Levi’s tantalising arse cheeks. He swats his hand downwards and that pale flesh briefly turned pink, a small shriek of surprise could be heard from Levi but nothing more than that. And that just wouldn’t do. He needed more, he needed to hear Levi scream for him, to _cry_ for him. So he brought his hand down again and again getting harder with each hit. His had bit into the plump flesh slowly staining it scarlet. With each smack a muffled cry came from Levi. Mike paused for a second and spoke in a low commanding tone “Don’t hide Levi. I want to hear you.” His hand grabbed Levi’s head and yanked it to the side, ripping him away from the mattress he was hiding in. Levi growled in defiance as he tried to turn his head back again. Mike scrunched his hand into a fist catching Levi’s hair and he pulled. Hard. Instead of simply pulling his head out of the mattress as he had before, this time he pulled backwards. He bent Levi’s neck at an agonising angle, Levi’s body arched, his spine bending in a way that it shouldn’t be able to bend. A strangled groan came out of Levi’s throat. Mike’s hand remained in his hair, keeping his body contorted in the position. The slaps to his behind returned with new vigour. Each one sparked a burning pain and Mike didn’t let it fade, every hit blended together. His arse was raw and he couldn’t help but cry out with each biting strike.

The beating stopped again and Levi let out a ragged breath his whole body shaking from the pain that was being delivered to it and from the strain his muscles were being put under, they were screaming. Just as Levi had managed to get his breathing under control, white-hot pain erupted as his body was invaded. A scream ripped from Levi’s throat and tears sprung into his eyes. Mike’s hips snapped forward and back, not giving Levi a chance to adjust. There had been no preparation; Mike had just forced his way in in one thrust of his hips, dry. “God, you’re so tight. So good for me. Look at you, you’re beautiful. My sweet little bird.”

Levi cried as Mike grated his insides, Levi wanted to pass out the pain was overwhelming. His eyes had become hazy with tears and his throat was dry as screams continued to tear out of him. His body shook with heavy sobs, he could hear Mike’s animalistic grunts in his ear and it made him feel sick. Between his legs was becoming slick and Mike continued to brutally plough into his body. He had nothing left. Everything was being taken away from him, everything he had worked so hard to build up was now being torn down so easily.

The room filled with screams of pain and pants of pleasure. Each man was drowning in them, Mike was moaning and panting whispering words of love and passion into Levi’s ear, while Levi was sobbing and screaming as he was repeatedly forced open again and again. He could feel Mike’s grip on him tightening and he knew what was coming. And suddenly he found himself wishing for it. He hope that Mike would just hurry up and get off because then it would be over. Pins and needle attack Levi’s hands with each movement, his battered body stung with every jolt, and his arse screamed in agony with every snap of Mike’s hips. The pace began to sputter and Mike thrust deeper, burying himself as far as he could possibly go before releasing everything inside Levi. He released his hold on Levi’s hair and the man flopped forwards instantly. Mike slipped himself out of Levi and admired the way that his come mingled with the blood that dripped in between Levi’s thighs staining the pale flesh. Mike regarded his beloved with adoring eyes and he watched the redness of Levi’s skin gradually get replaced by deep purple.

Suddenly he remember the phone that was sitting on the bedside table, he chuckled as he saw that the boy hadn’t hung up. Pulling the phone up to his ear he was met with silence.

“I hope you’ve realised now that he’s mine. You can’t take him away from me. Goodbye Eren.” Mike hung up, and tossed the phone away. He bent forward over Levi’s broken body, placed a gentle kiss at the nape of Levi’s neck and murmured “Mine." loving fingers trailed gently down Levi's spine, "I love you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I hope you enjoyed(?) the update!  
> Sorry for any errors, they will be fixed in the near future.  
> But yeah, see you next update and thanks for reading! ^.^


	11. Numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike gets what's coming to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much violence

“I hope you’ve realised now that he’s mine. You can’t take him away from me. Goodbye Eren.”

The phone went dead. The silence in the car was deafening, Eren’s grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white. Levi’s screams echoed in his head, spinning round and round in endless agony. Eren stared straight ahead, he kept his eyes on the road. His bright green eyes swimming with anger and worry, he glared at the tarmac, his foot twitching against the accelerator. It was practically on the floor as it is and any faster would cause an accident. But that wasn’t what Eren was thinking about, he didn’t care about his own safety or the safety of those around him right now his only focus was on Levi. He was in pain, he was in agony, he was being ripped apart and Eren wasn’t there to help him. Levi had asked him to stay on the phone so he had; he remained on the phone throughout, he had called out to Levi, he had tried to comfort him. He had desperately shouted to Levi, to just be there and remind him that he was coming. But Levi hadn’t heard a word of it, he was lost in an unreachable world of pain.

Despite the horror of everything he heard, Eren missed being on the phone with Levi. While the phone call was connected at least he knew what was happening to Levi, but now he had no idea. And that terrified him. Mike could move Levi somewhere else and he would never know. Mike could whisk Levi away somewhere and he would never find him. He hadn’t known Levi for very long, hell he hardly knew anything about him but Eren couldn’t imagine losing the onyx eyed man.  He had only seen him a handful of times but Levi’s band had gotten Eren through some tough times. He had loved the Survey Corps for a long time and has been crushing on their front man for just as long.  Despite their first meeting being more than awkward and the second even more so, Eren was just happy that he had got the chance to meet Levi. And now the man that had helped him through his mother’s death needed his help. Back then all it took was to hit play and his life disappeared for 3 minutes. What was happening now was not that simple, it couldn’t be solved by locking himself in his room and denying everything. He had to get to the apartment Levi was being held in. He just had to.

Eren dialled Armin without hesitation and to his relief the blond picked up on the second ring.

“Hey Eren what’s u-”

“Armin, you can’t mention anything I am about to ask of you outside of this conversations. Do you understand?”

“Shit Eren what’s wrong?”

“Armin!”

“Alright yes okay, I understand. Now tell me.”

“Listen, the less you know the better so please don’t ask questions. I need to know how to perform a sexual assault exam.”

Armin was silent for a moment, “Is the victim male or female?”

“Male.”

“You need to take swabs in their mouth, under their fingernails, and you will need to take one from his anus. Seal the swabs in fresh zip lock bags and send them to a crime lab for DNA testing. Take dated images of any outward wounds to his body before cleaning and dressing them.  If you can you should also take swabs from the crime scene as well as taking a picture of it. You also need to ask the victim whether he has taken part in any sexual activities from the past five days that would have left other DNA on him.” Armin paused, “Eren are… are you okay?”

“I’m fine Armin, but someone else isn’t.”

“Why haven’t you called the police?”

“He doesn’t want me to. He begged me not to Ar, but even if he won’t let me call them I’m going to try and build a case.”

“Eren, please be careful.”

“I always am Armin. Now, for the crime lab bit, can I get it processed anonymously and how do I get it to a lab without going through the police?”

Armin was silent for a moment before he tentatively said, “I could probably submit it for processing for you. If you put it through the hospital then patient confidentiality comes into play and the police won’t be able to access anything without explicit permission from the victim.”

“Could you really? Because I swear Armin if you back out I won’t forgive you.”

“Have a little faith in me Eren! I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m sorry Ar, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m wound a little tight right now. Thanks Armin I’ll give you the evidence for processing as soon as I can.”

“Okay Eren, I’ll set it all up so it can go straight to the lab when I get it. Bye Eren.”

“Bye.”

 

Eren tightened his grip on the steering wheel, choking the leather. His breathing quickened and his heartrate leapt into overdrive as the apartment complex came into view. Unable to control himself any further he pressed his foot to the floor and the car surged forwards. It was right there. Right there in front of him. On the seventh floor of that building Levi was waiting for him. Eren shoved the car into a parking space and sprinted over to the front desk. He raced to the elevator and punched the up button. Eren tapped his foot while waiting for the steel cage to arrive, deciding it was taking too long Eren raced to the stairs and began climbing the 14 flights. He took them one by one to begin with but ended up getting far too impatient and decided on taking them two at a time. His heart was pounding and his breathing grew heavy, but with the adrenaline pumping through his veins Eren kept climbing. He looked upwards at the never ending stairs counting floor after floor, 4… 5...6… and, finally, 7.

Panting, Eren tore through the double doors that lead out of the stairwell and into the hallway. His eyes moved restlessly and searched for a sign telling him which way to go, telling him which way lead to Levi. Green pools latched onto a bronze plaque and he sprinted off down the corridor dictated by that little plaque of bronze that suddenly meant so much. He chased the numbers as they continued to climb. Up and up they rose, thousands of thoughts swirled around Eren’s head. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got there he hadn’t thought that far ahead. He began to panic, his heart jumped into his throat. His feet began to slow and suddenly Eren became anxious, his bottom lip pulled into his mouth. He didn’t know what to do, what could he do? After all the promises that he made Levi, after everything that he had been forced to endure… what could Eren really do for him? How was he even going to get into the apartment to get to him?

Eren stopped moving all together staring at the ground, his eyes traced the pattern that the cracks made in the floor. He was lost. He didn’t know what to do, all that bravado, all that courage dissipated and Eren just didn’t know what to do. His mind swam with uncertainty. It had been a long time since he had fought and his reflexes have dulled dramatically. Was he really going to be able to help Levi? Could he trust himself? Doubt and self-distrust wormed its way into his mind and soon overwhelmed his thoughts. He was useless, he had always been useless. Who was he even kidding? He wasn’t a hero, just like his dad had drilled into his head, he wasn’t good for anything. His eyes glanced guiltily at the black numbers in front of him 142, Levi is suffering behind that door.

 

A shout of pain pierced through the wood and attacked Eren’s ears. And just like that his uncertainty vanished and was replaced by fury that burned white hot through his body. His head snapped up and Eren knocked on the door with three loud thuds. While he waited for the door to open he noticed a peephole just below the 4, so Eren attempted to school his expression into something a little less...scary. That asshole was never going to open the door to an enraged stranger. His green eyes bore into the glass of the peephole and he knocked again, a lot louder this time. Another shriek came from inside and footsteps could be heard approaching the door. Just on the other side of that piece of wood was the monster that was hurting Levi. Eren didn’t know what to expect, his mind raced it began picturing a hulking wall of flesh and cold beastly eyes that just stared at you like meat, a beast in human skin.

He hadn’t expected the tall blond that appeared before him. His blue eyes were soft and warm, his hair was soft and well kept, his skin was smooth and unblemished, and his lips were pulled into a gentle smile. His shirt was smooth and without rumple, his pleated trousers were without wrinkle, there wasn’t a single thing out of place, the man looked perfect, like an angel straight out of heaven. It was only when the man spoke that Eren knew for certain that he had the right apartment. The man’s voice was smooth and hypnotic, it set Eren’s teeth on edge and the hairs on the back of his neck to rise in alarm. Eren forced his lips to resemble something like a smile and spoke politely to the monster that had opened the door “Hello, would your name be Mike by any chance?” A slight flicker of recognition flashed across Mike’s eyes and Eren slowly shifted his foot into the corner of the doorframe.

“It is indeed, and who might you be?”

Eren hummed in response and simply stated, “I think you already know.”

The calm and pleasant aura that had surrounded Mike vanished, and left behind a void of frustration. Mike regarded Eren for a moment and obviously decided that he could simply be brushed aside with little difficulty. “I see. That’s what I was afraid of, no matter. You know you’re actually a lot younger than I thought. It seems like Levi was trying to replace me with a little toy-boy. It’s a shame really you seem nice enough, but unfortunately Levi was only using you. He was just stringing you along, he doesn’t care about you. You are nothing. Worthless.” Mike’s eyes had hardened and turned cold, a small smile stretched across his face when he added “Run along now Eren, we’ll forget that this ever happened.” Mike stepped backward and flung the door with incredible strength, intending it to slam loudly in Eren’s face. But Eren’s foot remained in the corner that he had placed it, so instead of slamming closed the door crushed Eren’s foot and bounced back open. Eren grimaced at the pain but pushed through it. He took a step into the apartment and closed the door quietly behind him.

“It’s not nice to slam the door in someone’s face you know. And I’m afraid you’re wrong about Levi and I, we barely know each other. I’m just a guy who’s working 3 jobs and has been lucky enough to have met his favourite band on more than one occasion. So I can say in all honesty I don’t mean anything to Levi apart from maybe being a good sound tech. I guess you could say that you were right about that, I’m nothing. But unfortunately for you I got a call to come and pick Levi up, and that is exactly what I am going to do.” Eren said walking further into the room, “So where is Levi?” he asked, his eyes never leaving Mike’s.

Mike seemed to be struck dumb by Eren’s bold actions but he soon collected his thoughts and quickly assessed the situation. Standing before him was not the same kid that had been at the door not a minute before, in front of him was a man that was no stranger to confrontation. His feet were placed shoulder width apart, one was placed slightly behind the other and his knees were bent at the knees slightly. Eren’s arms still hung loosely by his sides and he stood up straight, he was ready for anything that Mike might throw at him. For now he was thinking things through but if Mike gave any indication that he was going to get violent, Eren was simply going to switch off and let instinct and practiced movements take over.

 Mike glanced up at Eren’s eyes and he was caught, he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. Those green eyes shone with confidence, aggression and challenge, they dared him to look away from them. Mike found his breathing grow heavy, what is this? Eren was just a kid, just a brat! But he had the presence of a man twice his size. Eren took another few steps towards Mike, stopping an arm’s length away. Mike refused to move, he stood his ground because there was no way that he was going to back down to some arrogant brat. Rage quaked through Mike’s body and his hands balled themselves into fists, trembling with the effort to keep them by his side.

“I suggest that you leave now if you intend on walking out of here.” He said attempting to keep his voice level.

“I thought I already told you that I was here to pick up Levi, or is your memory really that poor?” Eren replied, his eyes flicking momentarily to the white knuckle fists that Mike was making and then back up to his face. Eren then shifted his weight onto the balls of his feet and repeated his previous question, “where is Levi?”

“That is none of your concern. Now this is your last chance, and I suggest that you take it, get out of my apartment” Mike growled.

Eren simply sighed and amusement tugged at his lips. That was the final straw for Mike and he lunged for the younger man. His lips stretched into a snarl as his swung for Eren, who simply danced out of the way. It took a second for Mike to realise that he had swung at empty air before he spun on his heel and glared daggers at Eren. Mike charged again, he was a little faster this time and managed to catch Eren’s jaw. The younger man looked a little surprised but he soon shrugged it off and reassessed his attacker, despite his large build it seems that he can move quickly when he wanted too. Whenever he threw a punch Mike’s eyes would lock onto his target like a hunting dog, but that tiny detail made it easier for Eren. He shifted his focus from Mike’s fists to his eyes, he watched those icy orbs latch onto parts of his body. It soon became obvious that Mike had had no training and simply threw his punches with brute strength. There was no calculation or thought into what he was doing, he simply lashed out like a cornered animal.

Eren toyed with him a little more, bringing him closer, throwing a punch and then dancing away. Eren wasn’t in the mood to draw this out for much longer and in the end he decided that the apartment wasn’t that big so he might as well just look for Levi himself instead of trying to get it out of Mike. With that decided Eren got serious. In order to get Levi out and into his car Mike needed to be out of commission for a while, so Eren stopped pulling his punches. A smile stretched across his face as he addressed Mike, “Let’s count how many it will take before you’re knocked on your arse shall we? Ready?”

Eren pulled back his arm and jabbed it forwards, connecting with Mike’s nose which gave way with a satisfying crunch. “One,” Eren he thrust his fist upward smacking Mike under the chin hard enough for his head to snap backwards “two,” he mocked. Next grabbed either side of Mike’s head and brought it down to meet his knee, he didn’t let go when the two body parts collided which forced Mike take the full brunt, eliciting a cry of pain. “Three,” Eren said coldly letting go of Mike completely. The blond staggered backwards, clutching his head and Eren simply watched as he struggled to stay upright. For the first time in his life fear shook through Mike as he watched blazing green eyes come ever closer, they didn’t even blink when pain erupted in his knee as it was forced to bend the wrong way, nor did they flicker with remorse when his stomach caved in on itself. Those dead eyes looked at him with disgust and promised a world of pain. Mike collapsed to his knees wrapping his arms around his torso, coughing and spluttering. He looked up through blond lashes and all he saw was the bottom of a shoe rushing towards him. Landing on the back of his head it crushed him into the ground. His already broken nose bent further to the side, it pressed firmly into his cheek and a scream sounded through the apartment. The pressure on the back of his head continued building until it felt like his head was going to explode but then suddenly it was gone, and Mike slowly lifted his head up off of the ground only to have in smashed back into the floor. Mike blinked and shook his head slightly in an attempt to clear his fuzzy mind, but all the motion achieved was calling forward a wave of nausea. Mike gagged and coughed as his stomach rejected the food that it contained. The man on the floor dared to look up again only to find that Eren was crouching in front of him. He kept his head bowed and Eren smirked at the action, grabbing a fistful of soft golden hair. He pulled Mike’s head backwards, and Eren forced Mike to meet his eyes. Eren paused for a moment and studied Mike’s bloody face “Now then Mike, I am going to get Levi and take him away from here and you aren’t going to bother him again. Do I make myself clear?”

It took a second for Mike’s jumbled brain to make out what Eren was saying. His eyes widened and shook his head, he couldn’t lose Levi. Levi was his, only his.

Eren sighed and slammed Mike’s head into the floor and dragged it back up, “How about now?”

Again Mike shook his head, Levi was his property, his to control, his to own and again his head met the floor. Mike tried to blink away the blackness that edged his vision but only found that it drew closer. “Last chance” Eren stated and again Mike shook his head. Eren hummed and released his grip on Mike’s head allowing it to flop forward under its own weight. He reached around Mike’s body and grabbed his hand, gently smoothing out each finger. He pressed the pad of his thumb to the pad of Mike’s pinkie and his index finger on the second joint. Slowly he pressed down with his index finger and up with his thumb, Eren bent the small finger in opposite directions until the bone splintered and a scream erupted from Mike. He then moved onto the next finger and did the same. Mike’s cries could be heard throughout the apartment, there was no doubt that Levi would have missed them. When Eren moved onto the middle finger Mike cried for him to stop. He begged Eren to release his hand, he promised that he would never go near Levi again. Eren was certain he would have promised the earth, the sun and stars if he could have. With a small chuckle Eren released Mike’s hand and let him cradle his shattered fingers to his chest. After a moment Eren grabbed the back of Mike’s head and smashed it into the ground. This time though Mike didn’t move to get up and his limp body fell to the floor.

“Twelve.” Eren whispered as he stalked away from the beaten body and moved through the apartment looking for Levi. The further away from Mike he got the more he returned to the present, he took a moment to breath and just calm himself down before facing Levi. He called his name quietly and listened for some form of reply but there was none. Eren glanced over to the bathroom and saw the door lying on the floor, the screws had been taken out of their hinges and were now scattered across the floor. He continued on passed the bathroom and headed for the closed door. As Eren got closer his heart began pounding faster, gripping the doorknob with white knuckles he twisted it and the door swung open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and sorry that it's late I had a very busy weekend going to MCM comic con.  
> It's half term this week and I'm planning on getting a lot of writing done, so there should be another chapter (maybe two we'll see how it goes) this week.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos it means a lot and I'll see you next update! ^.^
> 
> (Last Edit 16th Aug, Added: phone call with Armin)


	12. Descent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get out

Eren peered into the dimly light room, his eyes roaming restlessly. The curtains were closed so only small trickles of light filtered through, a phone lay discarded on the floor alongside a pair of black skinny jeans that had been carelessly flung to the ground. Tentatively Eren looked over the bed and his breath caught in his throat and his legs buckled beneath him. Eren fell to his knees a hand pulling up to cover his mouth as he choked on the emotions that rushed to greet him. What he was met with was Levi.

Levi, lying discarded and butchered in the centre of crisp white sheets. His shoulders and arms were pulled above his head fastened by a strip of black fabric, unlike the rest of his battered body Levi’s hands were pale, as white as the sheets he was lying on. He was lying stomach down and his face buried into the pillows. His back was red and blue and purple, it was raw and swollen. His thighs were angry and inflamed. But nothing could compare to the dark colour of his bottom, each cheek was stained black and the sheets beneath were no longer white. They had been slashed with bright crimson. Handprints littered his hips and waist, each mark painting a vivid picture of what he had been through. Eren pushed off of the floor and stood on trembling legs, he slowly made his way to the broken man and called out to him softly “Levi… I’m here, it’s Eren. Just stay still for me.” Armin’s words were ringing in his ears, he needed to take a picture of the scene. “Listen, it’s okay. I’m just going to take a picture. Don’t panic, it’s for evidence in case you ever want to prosecute. I haven’t rung the police but please let me do this at least.” Levi tensed and looked as though he wanted to argue, but he nodded stiffly. Stepping back to the door Eren blew out a breath and took a photo of the sight that had greeted him when he had opened the door. With the photo safely saved on his phone he crept over to the head of the bed and quickly began freeing Levi’s bound hands. A shudder rocked through Levi at the gentle touch and he flinched as the blood rushed back into his hands. His wrists were red raw from his fight against the binds, the fabric had bit into his flesh cutting it with deep lacerations. Gradually Eren pulled the fabric out of the trenches they had carved and Levi shouted in pain, Eren hushed and comforted him as best he could.

Once Levi’s hands were free Eren gently rolled him onto his back. Levi’s eyes met his and they began swimming with tears, Eren took a deep shuddery breath as he looked down at Levi’s wet cheeks. “You’re going to be okay.” He murmured softly into his ear, itching to rub his back to comfort him but he thought better of it. “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to get you some water” Eren said as he moved to get up from the bed but a shaky hand reached out and tugged at his shirt. “Don’t… go” Levi croaked, “He… might com-“

Eren cut him off “He won’t be bothering you again. I’ll be 30 seconds, okay? You can even count if you want to” he smiled

“O-okay. Come right back”

“I’ll be quick” Eren promised as he walked out of the room, mentally counting the seconds, as he wandered into the kitchen. He pulled a few cupboards open and grabbed a cup filling it with water, he paused and braced himself against the sink for a moment just staring at the plughole. He took a deep breath in an attempt to gather his thoughts. He was hot headed and impulsive by nature, and now that Eren had seen the damage that Mike had done he wanted to go back and make the bastard suffer more than he already had. He had got off lightly and now he could relish in blissful unconsciousness, the peaceful darkness was too good for that monster. It took all Eren had to dampen his rekindled anger but he did, because that wasn’t what Levi needed right now, he needed someone calm and in control. With another shaking breath he began walking back to Levi, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom on his way and arrived at the bedroom within 29 seconds of leaving. Eren moved to the bedside and took up his previous position; Levi had moved into a sitting position, his laboured breathing was a testament to the effort it had taken. Eren raised the glass to Levi’s lips and coaxed him into drinking a little, when his breathing had levelled out again he looked up at Eren and asked to be taken away from here. Eren placed a light kiss on his forehead and wrapped Levi in the large towel. Moving away from the bed again Eren began gathering up Levi’s things and shoved them into a bag that he found in the corner of the room. He slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way back to Levi. He knew he should perform the sexual assault exam on Levi as soon as possible, but it was clear that Levi didn’t feel safe. It could wait until they got back to either his or Levi’s apartment.

“Ready?” he asked, and Levi nodded.  Eren hooked an arm under his knees and the other around his shoulders; he lifted Levi off of the bed and cradled him against his chest. The man in his arms hissed in pain at the sudden movement and Eren couldn’t help the pang of guilt that shot through his body, he apologised but Levi shook it off telling him it wasn’t his fault. Eren walked slowly over to the bedroom door and he felt Levi stiffen in his arms, “He’s out there isn’t he” he whispered so softly that Eren almost missed it. Eren stroked small circles on his shoulder soothingly and told him that yes, Mike was in the living room but that he won’t be able to hurt him, that he wasn’t conscious. Levi looked up at him then and searched his eyes but Eren looked away, he didn’t want Levi to see what he was capable of. He didn’t want Levi to see the monster that he could become.

Eren took a deep breath and squeezed Levi lightly too his chest as he walked out of the bedroom. He kept his footsteps as light as possible so that Levi didn’t get hurt further, rounding the corner he entered the living room and walked calmly to the door, walking directly past Mike. Levi let out a small gasp when his eyes fell of Mike’s crumpled body but didn’t say anything, he simply stared at the swollen fingers and bloody forehead. Levi couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for what Eren had put him through, in fact he felt glad, happy, that finally he had got what he deserved. A small smile crept onto his face and he tucked his head into Eren’s shoulder and relaxed his aching body into the firm grip. He didn’t care that he was being whisked away bridal-style like some princess; he simply revelled in the feeling of safety that Eren gave him. He didn’t care that he was dressed in nothing but a bath towel and walking through an apartment building for all to see, he didn’t care that his whole body protested every move that it made, he just relaxed into Eren’s warmth and closed his eyes. He could feel Eren’s muscles shift under his shirt as he continued walking, he dipped momentarily and then straightened up again. Levi heard metal sliding over metal and guessed that Eren had just called the elevator, his guess was confirmed when he heard a ding followed by and robotic “lift going down”.

 

When they were safely in the elevator Eren looked down at the man in his arms and smiled softly, glad to see that Levi was able to trust him enough to relax into his embrace. Eren began to ponder what to do next, ideally he wanted to take Levi back to his place because then he knew where all the medical things were and if Levi needed anything Eren would be able to get it quickly. But after everything that had happened he didn’t know if Levi would be comfortable in a place he didn’t know, in which case it would probably better for them to head to Levi’s. Eren weighed up the pros and cons of each option and in the end just decided to ask Levi which he would prefer. He’s been through enough, he doesn’t need someone else making decisions for him. The elevator dinged when they hit the ground floor, Eren exited the building leaving behind the horrors that happened there. Pulling open the door to the passenger side he gently placed Levi into the seat, he made sure that the towel was firmly wrapped around his body and he was comfortable before closing the door. Then, after shoving the bag onto the backseat, he clambered into the driver’s side. Twisting the key in the ignition, Eren pulled out of the parking space and drove away.

 

The drive was a long one and Eren found himself regularly glancing over at Levi, who had been silent ever since they had left the apartment complex. Eren’s eyebrows knitted together with worry, suddenly Levi seemed to be withdrawing from him, he was flinching whenever Eren moved to change gear. Any trust that Levi had had in him was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Eren couldn’t help panicking, was it just a general reaction to sudden moves or was it directed to him? Had he been scared by what Eren could do?

If that was the case Eren couldn’t blame him of course, he was a monster. _A worthless sack of shit that was only good for hurting people and twisting around a pole like a whore_. Eren’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as, for the second time that day, his father’s words attacked his thoughts. His relationship with his father had never been a good one, and when his mother died it had only become worse. With Carla no longer around to round out the pointed insults, they hurt Eren far more than they ever had before. Coupled with the grief for his mother, the verbal massacre tore apart everything Eren thought he was piece by piece. With a deep breath he scolded himself for dragging up the past when there was someone else that needed him right now. If he really wanted to wallow in self-pity he could do it later. In an attempt to distract himself he asked Levi, “Would you mind going to my apartment or would you prefer going to yours?”

The sudden noise in the otherwise silent vehicle caused Levi to jump in surprise. He glared at Eren, narrowing his eyes as if to see something hidden in the words. Finding nothing, he sighed and relaxed back into the seat before answering that he didn’t really care, but considering Levi didn’t supply his address Eren assumed that Levi didn’t want him knowing it. Eren felt a little hurt that Levi didn’t trust him enough to let him take him home, however after the events of the day it was hardly surprising. Eren nodded and began driving down the familiar streets that lead to his apartment. The pair had fallen into silence again and Levi shifted awkwardly in the towel that he was dressed in. He refused to look at Eren, instead electing to stare out the window and scrutinise the streets.

He trusted Eren, really he did… it’s just that he still didn’t really know him. What he did to Mike, well if he was being honest it was scary. The kid that had been so captivating, full of life and innocent was actually able to beat someone far larger than himself into unconsciousness. He knew that Eren would never hurt him, he didn’t know how he knew that but he did. He trusted Eren more than he should do and that was the part that was scaring him. When he couldn’t get a hold of Erwin and Hanji he didn’t hesitate in asking Eren for help. Eren, the random brat that he had bumped into in the street, the captivating pole-dancer, the incredibly stubborn sound technician and now, apparently, a practised fighter, who he hardly knew.

The kid was constantly surprising Levi and he had realised that he really did know nothing about the man that was driving him. The weird thing was that that wasn’t the part that scared him, what scared him was how much he… _liked_ Eren. The faintest flush of pink caught the tips of his ears as Levi realised that he was thinking about Eren like some teenage school girl with a crush, and suddenly he was hyper aware that he was sitting there in nothing but a towel.

Eren’s thoughts were plagued with concern for the older man and ingrained thoughts of self-doubt. Meanwhile Levi’s were littered with self-consciousness, worry about how he would move on from this, and confusion over what exactly Eren was to him.

 

Both men were completely and painfully oblivious of the other’s inner turmoil as they pulled into the car park of Eren’s apartment building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm sorry it's a bit of a short one but I actually really struggled with it for whatever reason. The next chapter will be up some time next week, I have a couple of exams coming up so it will be after those.  
> Again, thank for reading and all comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, like serisously thanks :D
> 
> (Last Edit 16th Aug, Added: Picture)


	13. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little foreboding here, little hint at the past there, and a smattering of angst

“We’re here” Eren told Levi as he cut off the engine, and looked over to the older man hesitantly “If you want to go back to yours instead tell me, and I’ll take you there now.”

“This is fine.” Levi snapped as he unbuckled his seatbelt flinching as the motion of his fingers caused pain to flash through his wrist. He went to open the car door but found that it was already being held open by Eren, who was looking at him with concern. Eren hovered behind the door for a moment, uncertain of what to do. Eventually he sighed and moved around the door to gather Levi in his arms. He hesitated, searching the onyx eyes for any sign of protest, finding none he carefully slipped his hands under Levi’s legs and around his shoulders. Reluctantly Levi let himself be pulled into Eren’s chest. Who had used his hip to push the door closed and walked to the entrance of the apartment building.

The building itself was old and a little scruffy, it was pretty out of the way and it didn’t look like many people ever stayed there for long. The brickwork was dirty and discoloured, the cement was crumbling in places and the door looked like it was going to fall off its hinges at any second. Levi scrutinised the building and felt disgust build in the pit of his stomach, the building looked filthy. He glanced up at Eren and then back to the building. Did this cheerful, happy-go-lucky brat really live in this shithole? The kid worked at least three jobs, surely he could afford something better than this. The windows were foggy with dust and some were cracked in places, the pavement leading up to the doors was littered with discarded chewing gum and cigarette butts. Rubbish clung to the side of the building like a disease and there was a stray dog hidden in the shadow of the alleyway. The dog raised its lazy head, once it saw Eren it whimpered and wagged its tail. At the noise a small, sad, smile played on Eren’s lips as he glanced over to the poor dog, “Not today Hannes” he said shaking his head. The dog looked at him with big brown eyes and lowered its head as it slowly padded away.

Eren shifted his hold on Levi so that he could open the door, but before he did the smile vanished and he dropped his head next to Levi’s ear to whisper “Keep your head down, and mouth shut. I don’t care what anyone says, don’t reply.”

Levi froze in the younger man’s arms. What? Why? He tried to find the answers in Eren’s eyes, he looked for some sort of reassurance. However there was none to find, those glowing green eyes had dulled as soon as Eren had placed a hand on the door. Eren waited for Levi to provide some sort of confirmation that he would do what Eren had asked of him. After a minute had passed a tiny nod of Levi’s head told Eren all he needed to know as he pushed the door open. Instantly a wave of smoke and alcohol burned Levi’s airways. He spluttered slightly at the overwhelming scent, but kept his head lowered. Eren continued walking, his pace had quickened as soon as they had entered the building and Levi couldn’t help the nervous feeling that washed over him. He stared at Eren’s feet as they moved one in front of the other, moving further into the rotten building step by step. Unconsciously Levi gabbed onto Eren a little tighter, balling his hands in to his shirt and ignoring the pain that flourished in his wrists as he did so.

Suddenly Eren’s feet stopped moving and it took everything Levi had not to look up at the reason. But he soon heard it when a deep voice rumbled above his head, “Well, if it isn’t the resident Slut returning from his nightly duties. Oh and it seems he picked up a stray along the way.”

Levi felt Eren’s grip on him tighten as he is pulled closer into Eren’s chest. Eren moved a step closer before turning to the side in order to slide past the other man, he turned so that he was in between Levi and the other man. A large hand shot out and landed on the wall next to Eren’s head. The plaster beneath it cracked under the impact. The man clicked his tongue in irritation before he spoke again, “You know, Faggot, it’s very rude to ignore someone that’s talking to you.” Another hand landed on the other side of Eren’s head, trapping him against the wall. Levi’s heart leapt into his throat and he started to tremble slightly. He was in danger again. He was trapped again. He was going to be put through hell again. His breathing grew ragged as panic seized his body.

But Eren wasn’t fazed; Levi could hear his calm heartrate and feel his even breathing with every rise and fall of his chest. He felt Eren’s thumb slowly trace circles on his shoulder, slowly lulling him into a false calm. Levi tried to match his breathing with Eren’s, every time his chest rose Levi took a deep breath in, every time it fell Levi breathed out. Gradually his heartrate slowed back down and his muscles relaxed back into Eren’s arms.

Keeping his body facing the wall, so that Levi was sheltered from view, Eren sighed and turned his head to look over his shoulder at Frank, the man that was blocking their way.  Used to this sort of confrontation Eren slapped a sultry smile on his face and whispered, “You’re awfully close Frank, careful, I might get the wrong idea.”

Immediately Frank recoiled and spat “You’re disgusting. You should go drop dead in an alley somewhere.”

As soon as Eren was free from the cage that was Frank’s arms he continued up the stairs muttering “Feeling’s mutual” as he did so.

 

Once inside Eren’s apartment, he took Levi straight to the bedroom and lowered him onto the bed. “I’m going to lock the front door, but I’ll put the key on the bedside table so you can always see it.” Levi nodded at the statement and Eren left to go and lock the door. Levi looked around the bedroom and found a very limited number of possessions. There was a bedside table with a small lamp on top, a small wardrobe that was nestled in the corner on the other side of the room, and the bed that Levi was sitting on. Other than that there was nothing else. Thankfully everything looked clean, it wasn’t polished and shiny but at least there wasn’t a thick layer of dust everywhere which is what Levi had feared. Satisfied with his assessment Levi melted into the mattress, eyes fluttering closed. The pain and exhaustion of the morning had finally caught up with him as the adrenaline left his system, leaving him sore and drained.

Eren soon returned with a glass of water, a first aid kit, a packet of zip lock bags, and a handful of cotton buds he gently knocked on the door and waited for Levi to reply before entering the room. He placed the front door key on the bedside table just as he had promised, and set the water next to it. Carefully he perched on the side of the bed, feeling the bed dip under the weight Levi opened his eyes and looked up at Eren.

“Levi… I need you to take this cotton bud and swab the inside of your mouth.”

“Why?”

“To collect DNA. It’s the same reason why I took the picture back at… yeah. Well, even if you never use it, even if you never report it, I want to make sure that you have the option to. I want to make sure that if you ever get the confidence to press charges, he won’t be able to get away with it.”

Levi stared at Eren for a moment eyeing him, “You won’t call the police… you promised you wouldn’t.”

“And I’m going to keep that promise until you tell me otherwise. But please do this Levi.”

With a shaking hand Levi took the cotton bud in his hand and tentatively swiped around his mouth before handing it back. Eren carefully grasped it between two fingers, making sure not to touch the top, and placed it in the zip lock bag. He took out a large black marker and wrote, MOUTH, in thick letters and placed the bag to the side. He pulled out another cotton bud but paused before he offered it to Levi, he remembered that he was supposed to take pictures of the outward injuries. Pulling out his phone he asked Levi to hold his wrists out, a request that Levi didn’t fight. Eren took a number of pictures from different angles, making sure that there were multiple photos so that at least one of them would be good enough. While he was at it Eren took photos of the bruises on Levi’s face and neck, of the cuts that littered his legs and the dark purple that stained his thighs. Levi shifted uncomfortably under the lens.

“Are you done?”

“Almost” Eren promised, “Would you be able to move the towel?”

“W-what?!” Levi snapped.

“It was the most abused area Levi, most of the evidence will be there.”

“You’re not… no. You c-can’t.” Levi said, fear and panic creeping into his eyes as his breathing came out ragged.

Instantly Eren regretted pushing him, “Shh, okay I’m sorry. I’m sorry, we don’t need to photograph there. It’s okay.”

Eren placed his phone on the bedside table, “See. It’s gone, I have enough images. We’ll just do some more swabs, okay? No more pictures.”

Eren pulled out another cotton bud, “This one needs to go under your nails. Can you do it?”

Levi nodded mutely taking the bud and swiping it under each of his nails, both left hand and right, before handing it back to Eren who locked it in another bag. He pulled out the marker again and wrote, NAILS.

Eren pulled out another cotton bud and handed it to Levi, who looked at him questioningly.

“That one will be tested for any semen.” Eren supplied and realisation dawned on Levi’s face. He dropped the cotton bud and started shaking his head. In a soft but stern voice Eren said, “Levi there doesn’t have to be a picture but this does have to be done. This will be the most solid evidence against him, I can turn around so I can’t see. But this needs to be done.”

Levi was still shaking his head, “I didn’t even want this in the first place. That was all you. I don’t want this and now you’re going to humiliate me more than I already have been! How dare you.” his voice was edged with a heated anger that hit Eren like a bullet.

“Levi… you have to do this. This is the last thing and I won’t bother you about it again.”

“I don’t _have_ to do anything.”

“Levi.”

“No Eren.”

“For fuck’s sake Levi. Throw away your damn pride and let me help you. You might regret not doing this in the future, and if you don’t then you can hate me for making you do it instead.”

“I’m not doing it Eren.”

“Please Levi, this is the last thing, then I can treat your wounds and you can have a bath or go to sleep… or I can take you home” Eren’s voice was growing desperate and broken as he begged with Levi to do this final swab.

Levi looked into those emerald eyes and saw pain hiding there, _why was Eren in pain_? _Surely he couldn’t care that much… could he?_

“This… this is the last one?” he asked tentatively.

Eren nodded and provided him with another cotton bud before sending Levi a reassuring glance as he turned round. He blew out a breath and briefly closed his eyes, running a hand roughly through his hair while he waited.

“I-I’m… done.”

Eren put a soft smile on his face and turned around, he held out the bag for Levi to put the swab inside. Eren shuddered slightly as he closed the bag on the now pink tipped cotton bud and wrote on the front of the bag, ANUS. He placed the plastic bag next to the others, he could feel Levi’s glare on him but he didn’t turn to meet it. “Thank you Levi. Now, let’s bandage those wrists shall we?” Eren said softly. Levi nodded, his glare not weakening, as he wrestled with his body to sit up, Eren’s hands hovered around his shoulders in case he fell. Once he was sitting Eren tucked a pillow behind his back to make him a little more comfortable. Levi offered his left wrist to Eren, who gingerly placed it in his lap. He examined the raw flesh and assessed the extent of the damage, the cuts were deep but it looked like butterfly stiches would be enough to pull them closed. They seemed to be clean but Eren wouldn’t be surprised if there were actually some fibres of fabric buried in them. The more he thought about it the more it became a better idea for Levi to have a bath before he bandaged the cuts.

After gently placing Levi’s hand back onto the bed he said “I think it would be better for you to have a bath before I bandage these. Do you think you could manage one?”

Eren was given another nod so he left to run the bath, not wanting to move Levi too often. He turned on the tap and waited for the water to run warm before he plugged up the drain. As the tap grew hotter and hotter he ran the cold alongside it and mixed the water together until all the water was a uniform temperature. Eren stared at the water beneath his fingertips and watched the ripples grow outwards as he moved his hand. His gaze became unfocussed as he continued to stare at the water. He felt himself zone out but he couldn’t bring himself to care, he left his hand where it was and felt the bath fill. He caught sight of his reflection in the water and was reminded of a time when he refused to take a bath because of it. He had hated looking down at himself, he hated that the reflection was so perfectly imperfect. It was the same with mirrors and photographs. He always refused to look at them. What he saw wasn’t the monster that he had been taught he was, and he couldn’t bring himself to face how normal he looked, how deceptive his face was. Every time he looked at his own face he couldn’t help but think about all the people he had deceived. All the people that he had tricked into underestimating him. How many people had been drawn into this sweet face? How many had been made a fool of? Each of them staring at this face as they were beaten into the ground, with wild animalistic fury.

Eren blinked back to reality and saw that his hand was now completely submerged, so he shut off the taps and returned to his room. Levi’s eyes were closed but the fluttered open as he entered the room. “Bath is ready” he stated coming closer to Levi in order to pick him up gain. He scooped Levi into his arms again and took him to the bathroom. He set Levi down onto his own feet but left an arm round his shoulders to support most of his weight. Gently he began to tug at the towel that was still wrapped around Levi’s body but he was stopped when a shaking hand was placed over his. He glanced down at the shorter man to make sure that he was okay, only to find that his cheeks where flushed pink. Levi looked at him out of the corner of his eye, he lowered them quickly out of shame and embarrassment. Eren sighed softly, but he understood. “Let me get this towel off and help you into the bath and then I’ll leave.” He said to Levi attempting to sooth his concerns. When Levi remained motionless and didn’t say anything he tried again “I won’t even look at you.” Levi’s hand stayed where it was for a beat longer before he dropped it back down to his side. He hated how helpless he was, but even he could admit when he needed a hand. There was no point in being stubborn over this. He let Eren tug off the towel and lower him into the warm water. All the while his eyes remained trained on the water, making a point of not looking at Eren, and just as he promised Eren didn’t look at him either. Once Levi was settled in the bath Eren left; leaving Levi alone in the unfamiliar room.

The water made his cuts sting but it succeeded in easing the ache in his muscles. The bath was clean, it had an odd feeling of disuse about it. There were no smudges from shampoo and there was no lime scale surrounding the taps. And Levi knew from experience that no matter what you tried lime scale would always find some way to form around frequently used water appliances.  Levi felt his eyebrows furrow as he glanced to his left to see the shower, the glass surrounding it was streaky and foggy with water marks and careless smears of shower products. Levi clicked his tongue in distaste at the filth and was thankful that the bath was clean. He sank lower in to the water and a hiss escaped his lips as the warmth lapped around his body. He stared at his bruised thigh, the fingerprints blurred into one another, the black and blue tarnished his skin. Disgust, shame and self-loathing burned in his mind.

Levi wrapped his arms around himself and drew his knees up to his chest. His whole body shook as salty tears rolled down his cheeks and bit into the cuts that littered his body. He watched as each drop landed and disappeared into the water that was cradling him. He was disgusting, filthy, how was he going to be able to look anyone in the eyes? He had been stupid, he had drunk far too much and stumbled out into the alley completely defenceless. Levi blamed himself.

 He kept replaying everything over and over in his mind. Whenever he closed his eyes it haunted the blackness, and he became scared to open them again. Because if he opened them, he would still be there, Eren hadn’t come and saved him, all of this was just a delusion, a coping mechanism. In his heart he knew he wasn’t there, he was safe now. But his mind just couldn’t believe it, his mind refused to believe it. Before he knew it he was screaming. His eyes were screwed shut and Mike was there. He was standing there in front of him, he just knew it. Sobs clawed through his body and scratched their way out of his throat. His hands dove to his head and balled themselves in his hair. Their nails scratched at his skull and tore at his black locks. He pressed his body into the back of the bath and curled up as small as he could. He had to get away from the man in his head. He had to get away from Mike. Levi could no longer hear his own screams that echoed through the bathroom, bouncing endlessly off of the tiles. He was lost to reality. He was trapped inside his own head and couldn’t find a way out. When hands were on him, they were _his_. Levi shouted for him not to touch him, he shrieked and screamed in protest, he screeched for Mike to leave him alone. The hand on his shoulders was _his_ and the hand gently tugging his hands away from his head was _his._ They burned his flesh, it made his skin blister and bubble and split and rupture. It was _his_ touch,they were _his_ hands, _his_ fingers, _his_ palms, it was all _his_ , it was all the same.

 

All except the voice that came with them. The voice that cut through his screams, the voice that untangled Levi’s muddled mind from the darkness it had sunk into. It was a voice like warm caramel, smooth and sweet.

 

 “Levi… Levi. Shhh, it’s going to be okay… I just need you to open your eyes. Look at me… Levi.”

The voice became more insistent and slowly Levi opened his eyes. When he opened his eyes, Levi was met with bright white and he blinked a few times to adjust to the light. His breathing was still erratic and his heart was still going wild but now he was staring at his knees. Hesitantly he raised his bleary gaze and was met with a worried green one. Mike’s eyes weren’t green. Levi blinked again in an attempt to clear more of the fog that was surrounding his vision. He looked higher on the face in front of him only to find a mop of wild brown hair. Mike’s hair wasn’t brown.

He felt his heartrate begin to slow and his breathing even out when he realised. Eren.

 It was Eren, Eren was with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it was a late update but I hoped you enjoyed it! I feel so bad for doing this to Levi... but the only way is up. He's going to get stronger and be the cute asshole we all love.  
> On another note, holy crap 100 kudos? Thank you! This is craziness, thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy where this story is heading!
> 
> (Last Edit 17th Aug, added: Rape kit)


	14. Marshmallows and Mulan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little details and some fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mulan spoilers

A scream echoed through the apartment and it only took a second for Eren to drop what he was doing, literally, and sprint towards the bathroom. The shattered glass and pool of water could be cleaned up later, Levi needed him now. He crossed the small room and threw the door open. He should never have left Levi alone, he was an idiot, useless. Cursing and swearing at himself he raced to Levi’s side. One look at the man told him everything he needed to know. Levi wasn’t there, he was stuck in his head and Eren didn’t know whether he was going to be able to get through to him. Levi was lost in his trauma and Eren was at a loss of what to do.

Levi’s screaming grew louder and on impulse Eren put a hand on his shoulder and carefully tugged Levi’s fingers out of his hair. He was cautious, moving as one would if they were approaching a cornered animal. He avoided his wrists so as not to aggravate them further, Levi was already in mental pain he didn’t need physical pain added to it as well. Eren whispered softly to Levi. Words of reassurance and kindness overflow from his lips without conscious thought. He gently tried to coax Levi to look at him, to open his eyes and see that he was safe. He needed Levi to open his shining onyx eyes and look at him. All it would take to pull him out of the hell that Levi’s mind is putting him through, would be for him to open his eyes. To see that Mike wasn’t here, that he was far away.

Eren’s fingertips began to gently press into Levi’s tight muscles, moving them gingerly in small circles slowly persuading them to release their tension. Levi’s cries and sobs engulfed him and he was desperate to put a stop to them, he never wanted to hear Levi sound like that. For him to sound so defeated. The amount of despair that had crawled into Levi’s voice broke his heart in two. The man was shrieking for Mike to leave him alone, screaming for him to go away. Eren’s voice wasn’t reaching him. The soft murmurings weren’t cutting through the darkness that had wrapped around Levi’s mind. He was going to have to be more forceful, but he was afraid to. He was terrified that instead of helping Levi it would just make his hallucination worse, he wanted to drag Levi out of that hell not force him further in.

Eren took a deep breath to help him ignore his warring emotions. He tightened his grip on Levi’s hands and spoke far more loudly than he had before. His voice was still soft and gentle but it rang out clearly in the bathroom. “Levi…Levi. Shhh, it’s going to be okay… I just need you to open your eyes. Look at me… Levi.” Eren wasn’t going to say it was okay, that it wasn’t real, because right now it wasn’t okay and to Levi it was real, right now Mike was tormenting him. He wasn’t going to lie to Levi. Right now it wasn’t okay, but it was _going_ to be. He stared at Levi’s face, studying for any sign of recognition. His eyelids slowly smoothed, the scrunched up pieces of skin easing apart and his eyes opened. Levi was slowly coming back to reality, with each blink more of the haze retreated. Eren met him with a worried gaze and a soft smile, gently pulling the shaking man into an embrace their heartrates were thundering in their chests and Eren was unsure which belonged to him. Tears still streamed down Levi’s cheeks as he buried his face into Eren’s neck. He balled his hands into Eren’s shirt and breathed in his scent. The younger man continued to croon into his ear, his soothing voice calmed Levi’s mind. He was no longer screaming, no longer shouting and shrieking in terror. He simply silently cried, occasionally letting out a tiny broken whimper as he clung to Eren tightly.

 

Eren was uncertain of how long he had spent kneeling on the bathroom floor with Levi in his arms, but he knew it was a considerable amount of time. His legs had gone numb a while ago but he didn’t want to change position, fearing that Levi would take it the wrong way. Levi’s cries had ceased and it seemed that the man had run out of tears as no more threatened to fall, but he made no move to pull away. So Eren simply let him remain in his arms, that was until he felt a shiver pass through Levi and Eren recalled that the man was still naked and sitting in a, now cold, bath. He offered a small squeeze and pulled back, “Let’s get you out of there, I don’t want you to catch a cold. Can you stand?” Levi gave a small nod and began to get up. He was still shaky, his legs felt like there weren’t there. Eren didn’t take his eyes off of the man’s face, he was too concerned to look away but he wasn’t shameless enough to let his gaze wander. So he kept his green orbs focussed on the side of Levi’s head. As he hooked a leg over the bath Levi stumbled, Eren’s arm shot out to stable him. It was only when he was certain Levi was able to stand on his own that Eren let go.

After fetching a towel from the radiator Eren draped it around his shoulders. “Would you like me stand outside?” he asked, Levi’s eyes flew to meet his in slight panic at the prospect of being left alone. Eren gave a small smile to reassure him “It’s okay, I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. I’m going to stand over here. I’ll turn around, okay?” he spoke softly as turned to face the white wall of his bathroom. He could hear the rustling of fabric as Levi dried himself off and changed into the clothes that Eren had given him. They were far too big and dwarfed his form, the jogging bottoms pooled around his ankles and threatened to trip him, but they were soft and didn’t irritate his skin. The short sleeve T-shirt made him feel self-conscious, he just wanted to curl up in a big blanket and hide from the world. Levi wrapped his arms around himself and told Eren that he was finished changing.

Once he heard Levi’s cracked voice he turned around. Levi had shrunken into himself, gone was the man that Eren dreamed about, stood before him was a broken empty shell. But Eren was going to fix him, if he was allowed to. He held out his hand towards Levi and was surprised when the other man took it. Clasping the calloused hand within his own, Eren lead Levi into the other room. They sat together on the beaten-up sofa that sat in the centre of the room. It was old and the springs had long worn out, leaving it squashy and lumpy. Levi melted into the brown fabric cushions and stared at nothing. Eren told him that he was going to get the first aid kit, but he was only met with silence. And when he returned with the kit he was met with the same. Even when he had sat down next to Levi and gently moved one of his wrists into his lap, Levi just continued to look at nothing, not uttering a word. Eren watched Levi’s face for any sign of discomfort but he was met with a blank stoic expression. Even when Eren applied the antibacterial cream, that he knew stung like a bitch, Levi didn’t flinch. The onyx eyes were glazed and unfocused.

Once the deep trenches were properly disinfected and cleaned, Eren applied the butterfly stitches. One after another he stuck them to Levi’s skin in neat rows, making sure all of the ends were lined up and that the edges of the stitches formed a straight line. After completing one wrist Eren swiftly and carefully moved onto the next, once again beginning in the middle and moving outwards. One by one he placed the stiches, alternating sides, until the sides of the wound were pulled closed. He gently ran his thumb over the stitches to ensure that all of them were properly secured and wouldn’t catch on anything. When he was finished Eren returned Levi’s hands back to him, softly placing them into his lap. With a soft sigh Eren left the room to go and fetch a glass of water, a couple of ice packs and a blanket. On his way he stumbled across the shattered glass of water he had dropped, deciding to clean it up now so he and Levi wouldn’t cut their feet on it. Eren dropped to his knees and began to pick up the shards of glass. He grabbed them with one hand and piled them in the palm of the other, one of the larger pieces sliced his finger, he didn’t notice until rich blood welled to the surface. Sighing to himself Eren cleared up the rest of the glass and rinsed his cut to make sure that there were no glass fragments in it. Once the bleeding had stopped and he was happy that it was clean Eren got all the things he needed.

When he walked back to the sofa he found Levi in the same position he had left him in. The broken man was still staring at nothing and his shoulders were curled inwards, like they were bearing the weight of the world. Eren placed the fluffy black blanket around Levi’s shoulders and wrapped it around the rest of his body. At the feeling of something being placed over him Levi blinked and looked up. Eren offered him a soft smile and handed him the ice packs, “Put these where it hurts the most, they will bring out the bruising.” Levi eyed him for a moment before taking them and placing them on his hips, he grimaced at the initial burst of pain but was thankful for the numbing cold that began so seep into his skin. He tugged the blanket closer around his body, revelling in the warmth and safety it gave. Eren was glad to see that Levi was responding to his surroundings, even if it was only a little. He took a seat next to him on the sofa but ensured that there was plenty of space between them. Levi gave him an unreadable sidelong glance and remained where he was, he didn’t move but he also didn’t say anything to protest Eren sitting next to him. The brunet pulled his laptop onto his lap and started it up. He couldn’t remember whether he was working tonight or not, and considering he needed the job in order to pay rent, he figured he should check which shift he was working. The only reason he had an internet connection was because he ‘borrowed’ it from the guy that lived next door. Hey, it wasn’t his fault the guy didn’t have a secure connection.

He checked the calendar and saw that he had a shift at behind the bar at The Garrison that evening, he wasn’t scheduled to dance though. Considering they had been understaffed lately he doubted Jean would let him have the shift off, especially if he didn’t provide an excuse. Clicking his tongue Eren pulled out his phone and dialled his blonde mushroom friend. It only took a few rings for him to pick up, that was a habit from being a receptionist that Eren appreciated. “Hey Eren, everything okay, how’s er… the guy?” Armin’s voice came through the speakers.

“He’s as you’d expect, I managed to get him to do the swabs though.”

“Good, I’m going to need them within 72 hours then, after that the genetic material will start decomposing and we’ll have less chance of getting viable evidence.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure to get it to you soon.”

“Good idea. So, how are you?”

Eren snorted quietly, “Tired and worried. But other than that I’m alright. You?”

“Yeah not bad, the hospital was really busy yesterday. There was an accident involving a bus and a van, or something like that. So we were flooded with patients and run off our feet all day, on the bright side it was a quiet bus and no one is in critical condition apart from the driver of the van. I feel bad for him, but I also feel like he deserved it. But that was only after we got the results of his tox-screen and found that he was three times over the limit. Three times! How could someone be so irresponsible? My faith in humanity is steadily declining.”

Eren gave a dark humourless laugh, “I know what you mean.”

“Anyway, I assume there was another reason for you ringing. What else can I do for you Jaeger-bomb?”

Eren could hear the smile in his friend’s voice and he felt one spreading across his own lips. Armin always managed to make him smile, even if he didn’t mean to, even if he wasn’t in the room. “Erm, see the thing is, I’m going to be taking care of ‘the guy’ as you have called him. So I’m not going to be able to work my shift at the bar. And they’re understaffed, so I won’t be allowed to take the night off…”

“So you want me to cover your shift.” Armin finished for him.

“Yeah… I’m really sorry to ask you to do this. I know you’re probably tired from your shift at the hospital and I know that I said the last time that it was the last time, I just... please?”

There was a brief silence from the other end of the phone, and he knew Armin was coming up with the terms of his agreement. Despite Armin’s sweet and innocent appearance he was incredible calculating and wouldn’t stand for being walked all over. That blond coconut was a mastermind, for good or evil it was not yet apparent but Eren was leaning more towards the evil side of that debate.

“I want, Ben and Jerry’s, a pizza and a film night around mine which you actually attend.”

“As long as you plan it when we’re both free, you have a deal. You want the ice cream and pizza brought to the film night or another time?”

“Whenever I feel the need for junky goodness is when I want them, so you can be pizza patrol for the foreseeable future.”

“Thank you Armin! I’ll call Horse-face and let him know, I’m sure he won’t mind if it’s you.”

“Urgh, don’t remind me.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that he and Marco practically fawn over you. It’s like you’re their son… oh my god Ar-“

“Eren. No.”

“Eren, yes! You are Jean and Marco’s son. It’s already been decided, the Jaegermeister has spoken.” Eren was beaming at his phone like an idiot. Levi glanced at him, his eyebrows were pulled together in a confused frown probably wondering what the fuck Eren was talking about.

“Okay, whatever. What time does your shift start?”

“Usual time, 7:00pm. Thanks again for doing this Armin.”

“Any time Eren, you should come to the hospital more often. Mikasa is always asking after you.”

Levi watched as the smile dropped off of Eren’s face and was replaced by a sad pull of his lips. “Yeah, I know, I do try. I’m going to be dropping off all the swabs anyway.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye Eren, stay safe.”

“Yeah you too Armin, bye.” He said as he hung up, there was a reserved tone that had crept into his voice at the mention of his sister. Sighing to himself he texted Jean what was happening with his shift, he really couldn’t face dealing with him right now. Resting his head against the back of the sofa he closed his eyes for a moment. Levi took the opportunity to study the brunet’s face. His lips were slightly parted as he was breathing heavily, evenly, in and out. The green eyes that had been stuck in his head ever since they had first met were hidden behind tanned eyelids. The phone in his hand started buzzing but it looked like Eren was going to ignore it. The faint blush that had stained his cheeks whenever he talked to Levi wasn’t there, sadly it seemed to have vanished for the time being. Levi would have to work to get that back, it was cute. Before Levi was finished studying his face, those green eyes opened and looked at the ceiling for a moment, and then fell on Levi. A soft look crossed his features once their eyes met.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Honestly? Like death.” Levi deadpanned and Eren chuckled a little, happy that Levi was responding in a way that was far more normal… for him at least.

“Do you want anything?”

“I’d kill for some painkillers and maybe a cup of tea.”

“Well, no need to go to such drastic measures.” Eren teased, then added “I’m not sure if I have tea, do you like hot chocolate?”

“As long as it has mini marshmallows, hot chocolate is fine. The big ass marshmallows are just stupid. I mean who wants giant lumps of sugar that slowly melt into a gloopy sticky uneven mess, when you can have the little ones that melt quickly and make a nice smooth layer on top.”

Eren laughed at Levi’s marshmallow rant, the light in his eyes had returned and those onyx eyes looked alive again. Eren smiled to himself as he left to make their drinks.

Levi was left alone in the living room, sitting on the beaten up sofa that was far more comfortable than it looked. Scanning the room he saw a small table in front of the sofa, it wasn’t really a coffee table but played the role of one. There wasn’t a TV, and there wasn’t a speaker system, from what Levi could see there wasn’t really anything besides the table and the sofa he was sitting on. The walls were dull beige with a number of marks and dents cutting through the colour revealing that it was once cream. The floor was blanketed in a brown carpet that had grooves carved into it, where furniture used to be. It was a very simple, very empty room and Levi couldn’t help but wonder why it was so bare. The kid worked three jobs, how did he have so little? Suddenly he felt guilty for staying there but then again Eren had offered.

Said brat strolled back into the room with two cups in hand. One was topped with an excess of tiny white lumps while the other was bare. Eren set his cup onto the small table and handed the other to Levi and pulled out a packet of pills from his pocket, dropping it into his lap. “One order of painkillers and a marshmallow hot chocolate” Eren smiled.

“Is there _any_ hot chocolate in this white fluffy poof?” Levi chuckled eyeing the mountain of melting gloop.

“Erm… yeah I’m sure there is somewhere,” Eren said as he plopped down back on the sofa and pulled his laptop back into his lap “so, do you want to watch a movie?”

Levi nodded as he sipped at the warm chocolaty liquid and wrapped the blanket further around his body. “What do you feel like watching? Disney? Or some action, thriller thing?”

“I’m not really a Disney fan but Hanji said something about crossdressing chick that kicks ass.”

“Mulan! Yes we are so watching it. Just a heads up I know all of the songs and I will be singing along because they are awesome!” Eren practically squealed,

“Don’t make my ears bleed.”

“I make no promises.” He warned grinning at Levi, before hitting play and setting his laptop on the table. Eren tucked his feet under himself and Levi remained curled in a fuzzy ball as they sat back to watch the movie. Somewhere around the end of _A Girl Worth Fighting For_ Levi found himself moving closer to Eren and draping the blanket over them both. Eren had shot him a sweet smile before returning his attention to the laptop. He let Levi press against his side and fought the urge to curl into him and cuddle together for the remainder of the film. Every now and then Eren’s fingers would twitch with the want to run them through the soft raven locks or the desire to lace their fingers together.

When the Huns popped out of the snow Levi jumped out of his skin and swore loudly.  “Fuck! Why won’t they just die?” Eren just chuckled at the shorter man who was glaring at Shan Yu and his crew. “Squad goals though.”

Levi stared at Eren incredulously, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No. I mean the guy just led them into an avalanche, right? And by some miracle they survived, yet they are more than happy to rally behind him and carry on like nothing happened. That right there is a solid squad.”

He continued to look at Eren in disbelief, “Shut up and watch the film.”

“Yes Sir!” Eren replied with a wink, Levi just rolled his eyes and refocused on the film. Grudgingly he had to admit that Hanji was right, he was enjoying it. Enjoying it? Who was he kidding, he was loving it! The songs were catchy and he was pretty sure that he was going to have _I’ll Make a Man Out of You_ stuck in his head for at least a week.

As the film continued Levi found himself getting closer and closer to Eren, craving his heat despite sweltering warmth provided by the blanket and when the film ended the pair were curled into each other. The sound of deep even breaths could be heard throughout the apartment as the men peacefully slept on the sofa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hoped you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry for any mistakes and whatnot, comments are always appreciate, they really light up my day and serve as brilliant motivation.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (Last Edit, 17th Aug, Adjusted call with Armin.)


	15. The beginnings of a Disney day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi wake up and watch another movie
> 
> (Lion king spoilers)

It was around 4am when Eren first stirred from his sleep. There was a crook in his neck and it was uncomfortably warm. He blinked blearily into the darkness and made a move to get up but was stopped by a weight on his chest. Eren froze at the unfamiliar sensation, hesitantly he glanced downwards to see who was lying atop his chest. Black hair tickled his nose and a small smile crept over his face when he realised who the hair belonged to. He melted back into the sofa as all of the tension and unease left his body. He was still uncomfortable but he didn’t want to disturb Levi by moving, after the events of yesterday he needed his sleep. So Eren just lay there staring at his stained ceiling. How the stains had gotten there in the first place Eren didn’t want to know, he had spent many nights staring up at this ceiling and not once had he wondered about them. He had lived in this shitty little apartment for 3 years now and it was progressively becoming a more horrible place to live. It had been bad when he had arrived but now it was straight up dangerous. To be honest now that he thought about it, it probably wasn’t the best place to have taken Levi. But it’s what he called home and he would keep Levi safe from the brutes that inhabit the building. They never come to his room to bother him though, it was only ever when he was coming or going. It was as soon as he walked into the building up until he was hidden behind the door of his apartment, but it never continued after that.

Eren pulled the black fluffy blanket up over Levi’s shoulders from where it had slipped during his sleep. His fingertips lingered between Levi’s shoulder blades, he kept his touch feather light as he traced the logo that was printed there. The shirt was old and well worn, but it was the softest ones he had, in fact it was probably his favourite shirt. Sighing to himself he stared at the ceiling again and let his eyes drift closed. He dropped his hands back down to his sides, should Levi wake up he didn’t want him to feel trapped. Eren counted his breaths as he slowly slipped back into sleep.

 

At about 9am Levi blinked awake as light tickled his eyelids. He groaned and groggily sat up. Suddenly he looked down and found a green eyed brat with shaggy brown hair lying below him. Although those green eyes were currently closed he could picture them perfectly, the green orbs that looked like priceless gems. It dawned on him that he was currently sitting on top of Eren like it was the most normal thing in the world. A light flush warmed his cheeks as he carefully got off of the younger man. As he stood he winced at the pain that shot through his body. His muscles protested the movement and the sting in his wrists only confirmed his suspicion that the painkillers had worn off. Despite getting one of the most peaceful sleeps he’s had in a long while, he was still tired. His body ached and his throat was sore, everything felt heavy.

Groaning quietly, Levi walked in the direction of the kitchen and for the first time since arriving he actually noticed how bare the apartment was. Obviously when he had first arrived he wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind to take anything in, but now he had gotten some sleep and the darkness of the previous day was being buried he could see the how few belongings Eren had. It the living room he had a sofa and a small table, in the kitchen he had the basic appliances but not much else and from what he remembered about the bathroom yesterday it had a shower, a sink, a bath and a toilet. He had all the necessities but nothing more. There was no personal twist to it. It was like he had just moved in and was yet to furnish it. There were no pictures of family or friends, no posters on the walls, no ornaments or stupid little souvenirs from past holidays. The whole place was bare of anything that could be described as _Eren’s._ Questions started to explode through Levi’s thoughts as he wondered why. Why was there so little? Why did he work three jobs but have almost nothing to his name? Surely the rent on this place wasn’t that high, was it?

Levi was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn’t hear that Eren was waking up in the living room. It was only when wild brown hair made an appearance in the doorway did he look up and notice that Eren was awake. Levi stood there, staring at him for a moment. A small frown tugged at his eyebrows as he watched the sleepy young man scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Eren blinked a couple of times before he gaze settled on Levi, “Good morning. How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit”

“Painkillers warn off?”

Levi nodded as he leant against the side of the counter top. He grimaced as a wave of dizziness swarmed into his senses, nodding had not been a good idea. Eren offered a small smile as he went to retrieve the pills.

Seconds later he returned with them and handed the packet to Levi before busying himself with preparing them both something for breakfast. As Eren opened and closed cupboards he noticed that there wasn’t much within them. Just like the rest of the apartment. The slight frown of his eyebrows morphed into a scowl as Levi glared at the cupboards like it was their fault for being so barren.

“Pancakes okay with you?” Eren asked as he glanced over his shoulder to look at Levi, who schooled his expression and nodded.

“Pancakes would be great. If you can, I mean don’t feel that you have to…”

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine” Eren said his tone was almost scolding as he got to work making the batter. “So, what would you like to do today? I can take you home, or you’re welcome to stay here, or I could drop you off somewhere… it’s up to you.”

Levi shrugged, he didn’t really know what to say. Eren had already done so much, could he really stay longer? He really wanted to, he wanted to watch up another film on the sofa with the blanket and a pile of pancakes. Eren looked over again when he received no reply and studied Levi quietly. Overall he looked relaxed, which was good, he was a little hesitant about some things, but that was to be expected, though he did look a little lost. Eren smiled warmly, “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. What do you want to do?”

“Could we watch another movie?” Levi asked a little tentatively.

Eren’s smile erupted into a beaming grin “Of course! Go pick one out and I’ll finish making breakfast.”

Despite his attempts to supress it, Levi found himself smiling too. He couldn’t help it, the brat’s smile was contagious.

 

A couple of minutes later they were both settled back onto the sofa with a plate of piping hot pancakes on their laps. “So, what did you pick?”

“The Lion King. It looked alright.”

“Ahh another Disney film, could it be that I have turned you to the dark side?”

“Don’t be stupid. I liked Mulan but all the others are probably shit. I am only prepared to give this one a go because it has lions. I am not shitty Disney fanboy trash” Levi argued as he shoved pieces of pancake into his mouth as if it somehow emphasised he point.

Eren snickered, “Whatever you say. This one has a good sound track by the way, it will get probably stuck in your head.”

“More or less catchy than the ones in Mulan? Because I have Make a Man Out of You going on up in here at the moment.”

“I want to say it’s actually less catchy, but that is only the opinion of a mere peasant and not a musical genius like you.”

Now it was Levi’s turn to laugh, “Sh-shut up. Wait, what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Just getting some tissues.”

Levi narrowed his eyes “Why do you need them?”

“I don’t. Now, hit play!”

He looked at Eren a little longer, trying to work out the contradiction between his words and his actions. Eventually Levi gave up and just clicked play, then he sat back onto the sofa and started tucking into his second pancake, eyes trained on the screen.

…

“…you know Mufasa is kind of an asshole” Levi said suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… he’s treating the hyenas like shit. What kind of a king does that? Like surely if you’re looking after a kingdom you have to make sure all of your people are happy, and not be an ass to one species.”

“What? Mufasa is just protecting his pride from the hyenas’ greed.”

“Oh yeah? Well when is that ever demonstrated? Like, they only picked on Nala and Simba because they were starving. And look, all Scar is promising them is food. It’s nothing massive, it shouldn’t be enough to get them to turn on Mufasa and yet it is. It’s enough because they are desperate and starving.”

“Well damn. I have never thought of it like that before.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to, because you are an idiot.”

“Rude.”

“Meant it to be.”

“Shut up and watch the rest of the movie” Eren grumbled.

…

“Eren you asshole! You said there was no reason that you had tissues.”

“It would have spoiled the movie. Anyway I thought you didn’t like Mufasa.”

“I don’t but that is no reason for him to die! That’s not okay. Isn’t this a kid’s film? How could they do that! That just isn’t okay. I’m not okay.”

…

“That warthog seems like my kind of guy.”

“What do you mean?

“We have the same sense of humour.”

“You mean shitty toilet humour?”

“I mean brilliant comic genius that tends to revolve around shit.”

“But he is a warthog. That means a lot of mud and dirt.”

“Ew, gross, true. Never mind.”

Eren simply snorted in response, quietly wondering if his apartment was clean enough for Levi’s standards. Probably not.

…

“Oh and would you look at that suddenly the grass is green again and everything is fine. This is bullshit. Are the hyenas okay? I mean eating that asshole can’t have been good for their digestion.

“What the fuck Levi?”

“Hey, it’s a valid question. Is there still segregation, or did Simba fix that? Like, this film raised some societal issues and never actually solved them. At least in Mulan she proved a point that women could do whatever men could do and the ending suggested that the attitudes towards women we about to change. This just kind of left it. Fuck man.”

“Oh my god. I am suddenly so unsatisfied with this ending. Gahh what have you done?”

“It’s like I said, all the other films are going to be shit with Mulan as the exception. That is my prediction.”

“You can’t make that prediction on two films Levi.”

“I can and I have.”

“Fine you stubborn shit, we will spend the rest of today watching Disney films and proving you wrong.”

“Be prepared for your childhood to be ruined then.”

Eren chuckled as he went to go and answer the door. He was sure he had heard someone frantically banging on it. When he had reached the door it was apparent that whoever was banging on it was prepared to break in. The door was already rattling on its hinges with the force of each thud.

 

Who could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I tired my best to be funny but comedy is hard. Sorry for any errors and all that, see you next update!


	16. Explanations and Disney Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half angstyish confrontational explanations and revelations, and half goofy dorks watching Disney movies.
> 
> Spoilers for Pocahontas

Eren stood by the door, one hand on the handle and waited. Just after he heard the thud of a fist hitting the wood he yanked the door open. The two people on the other side of the door were stunned for a moment but quickly recovered. Both of their eyes were filled with an untamed rage and wild desperation. A large fist shot out from the man’s side and connected with Eren’s jaw. Pain shot through his face as the woman threw herself at him, shoving Eren to the ground. The man pushed through the doorway into Eren’s apartment.

“Where the hell is he? Where is Levi? Wait… Eren?” the woman shouted. She was pounding at his chest, one fist after another landing on the toned muscle. She blinked down at him and suddenly her eyes were filled with betrayal as she started screaming at him “How could you? Where is he? We trusted you! I can’t believe this. How dare you. What have you done to Levi, if you have hurt him I swear to god I will rip you limb from limb.”

“Hanji, he’s in here.” A smooth male voice said, a voice that Eren identified to be Erwin’s.

Relief flooded across Hanji’s features as she asked “Is he okay?”

“What the fuck are you two doing here and why are you making so much god damn noise?” Levi’s irritated tone drifted into the hallway.

Erwin chuckled “Seems fine to me.”

Hanji scrambled to her feet and ran to the location of the voices. Eren was left on the floor, momentarily paralysed from the pace at which everything had just unfolded. Leaving him with one thought… what just happened?

“LEVI! Are you okay? Did that bastard do anything to you? I’m so sorry I never should have brought him drinking with us. This was all my fault.”

“Woah, Hanji slow down. What the fuck are you on about? I knew you were crazy but this is a whole other level.”

“You were kidnapped.”                             

“Okay I’m with you so far.”

“You left messages on our voicemails saying that you were in trouble and you needed our help. So here we are. We came as soon as we could, I’m so sorry it took us so long but my phone died and when I got your message we couldn’t get through to you anymore. We didn’t know what to think so we just kept ringing your phone but you never answered. So I hacked into the software and started working out your location from that. But that took ages and then we had to figure out which apartment you were in but we talked to some asshole on the stairs and he said that a guy in this apartment was carrying someone to his room. So we thought that it must have been you! Anyway, it’s going to be okay, we’re here now, and everything is going to be okay. Eren will never get you again. We’ll make him pay.”

Levi’s eyes widened as he processed Hanji’s explanation. He was completely dumbfounded, “You thought that… oh my god, you thought that Eren…” He couldn’t help himself, Levi laughed, he laughed right in Hanji’s face.

“Well not at first but he was the one that opened the door just now…” she grumbled, a confused frown wrinkling her forehead as she glanced over at Erwin.

“Levi I think it’s your turn to explain” Erwin said, one perfectly rounded eyebrow raised. The sound of Erwin’s voice stopped Levi mid laugh, his mouth slowly closing and pressing together in a tight line.

Eren, who was now standing in the doorway, spoke in a soft voice “You don’t have to if you’re not ready. I can tell them if you want.” Levi shook his head, declining the offer. This was his story to tell, it wouldn’t be right coming from someone else. They wouldn’t know when to stop, what to tell and what not to. Levi took a shuddering breath and decided on one small sentence, “Eren was the one that saved me… from…” Levi choked on the name, he had to say it, he had to. It was drowning him, eating him up from the inside. He needed to say it, to get it out from him. Levi took another deep breath and released it slowly, “Eren was the one that saved me from Mike.”

As soon as the name had escaped from his lips Levi went searching for comfort, for the emerald green eyes that belonged to the man he had clung to in his moments of weakness. When he found them his shoulders instantly relaxed. They were staring straight back at him full of worry and a warmth that Levi would happily get lost in. Eren offered Levi a small reassuring smile and a tiny nod of his head. His chin was red and inflamed but was beginning to dull into a muted blue, every so often one of his hands would rub it idly.

Both Hanji and Erwin had fallen silent, realisation dawning on their features. Erwin’s face scrunched in disgust at the mention of the blond while Hanji’s glare had been redirected from Eren to an unfortunate spot on the carpet. Neither of them spoke as Levi’s words sank in. Hanji’s fists began to tremble slightly and Erwin’s fingers were digging into his folded arms. “And what happened to the bastard?” Erwin asked, his voice came out surprisingly even. Anyone would view him as calm, as long as they avoided looking into his eyes. Because blooming in the deep blue depths was a rage that could have killed an army.

“I handled it” Eren said nonchalantly, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the doorframe in a way that was far too casual from the current discussion.

Hanji practically growled in response, “You _handled_ it? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You don’t just _handle_ Mike. It’s not that easy, he doesn’t fucking stop. He is a relentless monster, a beast that hides behind his uniform and uses it as an excuse to do whatever the fuck he wants.”

“Fine. Then for now it’s sorted and _if_ he comes back I’ll sort it again.”

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? Or are you simply completely moronic. Next time he comes back, and he will, he will be in his fucking uniform. You won’t be able to do shit. All it will take is a flash of that shiny badge his is so proud of and you will be left to rot in a god damn prison cell. That’s it. Poof. Eren fucking Jaeger will be locked away, no questions asked.”

“Hanji, that’s enough!” Erwin’s voice rang out across the room, stopping Eren’s retort before he could even speak it aloud. Instantly his gaze flickered to Levi and he swore under his breath as he saw the older man shrinking into the sofa, breathing heavily. Eren sighed and crossed the room, sitting down next to Levi on the sofa. He raised his eyes to meet Erwin’s, the blond looked like he wanted to say something but it appeared that he thought better of it. On the sofa the pair sat close together but not quite touching. Their thighs would brush together if either of them moved too much, Eren’s closeness was enough for Levi to regain control of his breathing. The ease that Levi relaxed once Eren was by his side shocked them both but neither mentioned it, each of them were content with their ignorance towards what the other was feeling.

Hanji simply stared at Eren, her gaze flicking between him and Levi. Her mind was working, watching their body language, listening to how they talked to one another. She watched the way that Levi would purposefully press his leg against Eren’s every so often, or the way that Eren’s eyes softened every time he looked at Levi. Then she knew. She knew that despite the horrors of Levi’s ordeal, they had been brought together because of it. It was strange seeing her typically cautious and untrusting friend lean so heavily on a man that he has only met a few times.

The room filled with a tense silence as they all watched each other, Erwin was standing by the far wall with his arms crossed, Hanji was stood in the middle of the room and Eren and Levi were sitting on the sofa. Erwin and Hanji were staring at Eren with their gazes flickering to Levi every so often, Eren was mainly staring at the ceiling and Levi’s eyes were fixed in his lap.

After what seemed like an eternity Eren broke the silence, “So, would anyone like a drink? I have water and hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, and if you’re lucky I may have some coffee somewhere.”

Levi looked at him and replied in a joking manner, “One medium hot chocolate, double marshmallows and extra painkillers”

Eren smiled warmly, “That’s one medium hot chocolate, double marshmallows with extra painkillers, one water and anything for you sir and madam?”

“A hot chocolate for me please.”

“Two hot chocolates, one water. Anything for you Erwin?”

“A water will be fine thank you.”

“Okie dokie, coming right up ladies and gents” Eren said as he clambered to his feet and sauntered into his kitchen.

 

“Levi… what did Eren do to Mike? Are you really okay?” Hanji asked quietly her eyes swimming with emotion.

“I… I don’t… shit. I don’t know. When we left, he… he wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t really looking but he looked pretty beat up. Actually he looked really beat up. His nose was definitely bleeding and maybe his head? I don’t fucking know, I just wanted to get out of there. Ask Eren If you want to know.” he shuddered involuntarily as the memory surfaced.

“But you’re okay? Like really okay, not you’re just saying that you’re okay when you’re actually not okay.”

“Yes I’m okay.” He wasn’t. And Erwin, who had been quietly observing Levi throughout this exchange, wasn’t convinced. He could see the shine of fear that plagued Levi’s eyes and the tension that would rise in his muscles every time someone moved too fast or spoke too loudly. People would often call Levi emotionless, but in fact he was far from it. You just had to know what to look for. For now though, he was going to let the topic drop, it was clear that Levi wasn’t going to say anything. It was still too raw.

Hanji let out a loud, ragged puff of air like she was expelling all of her worries along with it. She looked tired. And judging by the dark circles under her eyes, she hadn’t slept last night. Levi couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that he let his two friends worry about him all night; especially since he had been happily curled up on the sofa with a certain bright eyed brat.

Said brat waltzed into the room holding their drinks grimacing slightly as he set them down “Sorry about the mugs, I’ve been meaning to get new ones but since it’s only ever me here I only really needed one good one.”

“It’s fine… they’re all clean, right?”

Eren rolled his eyes, “Yes Levi they’re all clean. You actually have the good one so don’t complain. Anyways, what do you want to do now? You two interrupted the beginnings of a Disney marathon so you can stay if you want or whatever.” He said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Wait! What? Did you say a Disney marathon?” Hanji exclaimed.

“Oh god here we go” Levi grumbled while Erwin simply laughed.

Her eyes widened in excitement as she stared from Eren to Levi, “You mean he has seen a Disney movie? And he is actually willing to watch another one?”

“He’s watched two actually.” Eren smiled.

“God dammit Eren I wanted to take his Disney virginity! But good job! Which two?”

“Mulan and The Lion King.”

“He watched Mulan?” She squealed, eyes focussing on Levi, “You watched Mulan!” The raven rolled his eyes and nodded. “What did you think? Isn’t it great. She is a strong indep-“

“Hanji no.” Levi groaned.

“She is a strong independent wo-“

“Hanji I swear to god.”

“SHE IS A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN THAT DON’T NEED NO MAN!”

“This is one of the many reasons why I don’t like you.”

“Your words wound me sir! Besides I know you love me.”

“I can in complete honesty say that I don’t.”

“Oh shush, I know you better than you do my emotionally constipated little smurf.”

“A height joke, really? Tch. Shitty four-eyes.”

Eren and Erwin were trying to hold in the laughter that was fighting to escape with varying degrees of success. Eren had resorted to making spluttering choking sounds while Erwin had taken the silent approach. This however made his shoulders move up and down violently for no apparent reason, which only gave Eren another reason to laugh. Tears were collecting in the corners of Eren’s eyes and he was doubled over clutching his stomach. There hadn’t been anything hugely funny, it was simply the fact that all the tension was gone and a sense of normalcy had returned. Well as normal as it could be when all of the members of his favourite band were gathered in his living room.

“A movie day would be great Eren. If you don’t mind that is, we wouldn’t want to impose” Erwin said once he had pulled himself together.

“Of course, let’s pick a film to kick things off with then.”

“Oh and Eren…”

“Yes?”

“I apologise about my… uh, impulsive actions earlier.”

“Oh you mean that punch you landed on my beautiful face?”

Erwin grimaced and nodded, “That was indeed what I was referring to.”

“Well, don’t worry about it. I’ve had worse,” Eren dismissed.

“Are you suggesting that Erwin’s punch was weak?” Levi smirked

“I wasn’t suggesting anything of the sort.”

“Yes you were. Ha. Erwin, your punches are weakass. Doubt it could squash a marshmallow.”

Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t test me Hobbit.”

“You wanna say that again, slug-brows?”

“Okay ladies, that’s enough of that. Don’t make me take you to the vets to be declawed.” Hanji chuckled.

“Tch. Whatever.”

“We still haven’t decided what movie we’re going to watch. Are we going to continue the Disney theme?” Eren asked

“I already warned you, I will not be keeping my cynical comments to myself. Select a movie at your own risk.”

“oh, oh OH! We should watch Pocahontas! Basically this chick is being forced into an arranged marriage to a badass dude, who we actually don’t see that much of now that I think about it, but that’s not the point. The point is that Pocahontas is all like ‘nah dad, fuck that I do what I want. I am a strong independent woman that don’t need no man.’ Except she does get a man and he is kind of an asshole at first but he learns stuff and stops being so assholey. Yeah… good film.”

“… assholey?”

“Oh shut up Erwin. It can be a word if I want it to be.”

“I’m pretty sure that isn’t how words work Hanji.” Levi stated

“Oh shush you. Eren play the film, so I can drown out dumb and dumber with a killer soundtrack”

Eren leans forward and hits play on his laptop before settling back down into the sofa. Hanji settled on the floor with her back resting between Eren and Levi’s legs. Erwin had sat down on the other side of Levi, the three men all squashed onto the two man sofa. Considering each of the men were broad shouldered and it was quite an amazing accomplishment that they were able to fit.

…

“His name is John smith… really? That is the most unoriginal name ever, like are you fucking kidding me with this?”

“Okay, I have no issue with you voicing your opinions about the plot but leave the names out of it. He is supposed to be a cliché Englishman so they gave him the most cliché name ever. It fits and it’s fine now shush.” Erwin states, who to everyone’s surprise is actually an avid Disney fan.

“Whatever… Why you so defensive anyway?”

“I’m not defensive, I’m just pointing out what the writers were doing.”

“How do you know that’s what the writers were trying to do? Do you know them? Did you ask them personally why they chose a shitty name for the character?”

“OH MY GOD!!”

“What is it Hanji? I’m trying to show Erwin that he’s being stupid.”

“No, Levi you don’t get it. They are totally brothers.”

“What?” the three men said together

“They both have blonde hair, they both have blue eyes, they are both tall and headstrong, heck they even share the same last name. I’m telling you Erwin and John Smith are brothers.” She concluded a manic look in her eye like she had just solved world hunger.

A smile cracks across Levi’s face while Erwin just stares at Hanji like she has lost her marbles. Eren, however is happily watching the three in amusement. “John’s eyebrow game isn’t as strong though.” Hanji cackled with laughed while Erwin stared at Eren in mock horror “Eren no! You as well? I thought at least I would be free of teasing from you.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Hmph… shut up and watch the film.”

…

“The fucking tree talks? I am so done with this film.”

“It’s a Disney movie, pretty much everything talks.” Hanji states

“The animals don’t.”

“Okay so Meeko and Flint don’t speak… so what?”

“But the tree does, that’s my point. It’s a fucking tree.”

“Now now, don’t badmouth grandmother willow or she’ll whip ya.”

“Cheeky.”

“Ew gross, that is one mental image that I didn’t need, Jesus Christ Eren why would you use an innuendo inducing cheeky there.”

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“You’re right I’m not.”

…

“Are you kidding me with this? They don’t even end up together? After all of that they don’t even end up together. What bullshit is this? They make this big thing about how they needed to get him back to London for them to be able to get treatment for his gunshot wound but, what are the odds for him actually making it? Like in all seriousness, he probably died on that ship. I’m not even kidding.”

“Well… way to put even more of a downer on an already sad ending” Erwin said

“Never mind that, onto the next film! Beauty and the Beast or, probably one of the darkest films in the Disney classics collection, The Hunchback of Notre Dame?” Hanji chirped

“Isn’t Beauty and the Beast pretty much just bestiality and Stockholm syndrome?” Levi deadpanned

“The Hunchback of Notre Dame it is! Not really one of my favourites but maybe you’ll like it Levi.”

…

“What no sarcastic comments or snide remarks Levi?”

“Shut up Erwin.”

…

“That was amazing. I loved it. That film has probably just over taken Mulan. It was so brutal and deep and dark.”

“It’s so typical that you love the film that the rest of Disney fans like the least because it’s too dark and a little too close to reality.” Erwin states

“What can I say, my tastes are unique. But yeah, that was great. Nothing can possibly top that.”

“I guess we’ll see won’t we, the day is still young!” Hanji sang.

 

The four sat and continued to watch movie after movie until the sun hung low in the sky and was beginning to sink below the horizon. Hanji, Erwin and Levi left Eren’s apartment building without any hassle and arrived in their homes safe and sound. Hanji and Erwin had suggested that they stay the night with Levi, however the stubborn raven point blank refused and sent them home. ‘He was fine on his own, he didn’t need them babying him’ he had insisted. Though the more he thought about it now the more he had wished he had taken them up on their offer. He was alone in his dark apartment and he couldn’t help but feel on edge. Even in his own home he couldn’t relax and it was beginning to drive him crazy. He jumped at every creak of the floorboards, even though he knew that they would make a noise, just as they always had ever since he moved in.

And to Levi’s disappointment he realised that it was going to be a long time before he would be comfortable alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think in the comments because I love hearing your opinions and predictions. Sorry about any errors and I'll see you next update! Bye ^.^


	17. Work and witty banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to work and we get some sibling banter going on up in here.

“So Jaeger, why weren’t you in last night? As much as I prefer Armin’s company over yours, he shouldn’t have to pick up after you.” Jean called over to Eren, who had just taken his place behind the bar. Eren was covered in a sheen of sweat from his performance and there was still some body glitter lingering around his eyes. “I’ve already told you, a friend of mine needed me. Look I’m sorry I missed my shift and I’m sure you’ll get me back for it at some point.”

“Oh you can count on it,” Jean promised “Wipe down the bar.”

“You got it, horse-face.” Eren threw over his shoulder as he dampened the soft cloth with warm water. He never used soap, it always left streaks on the marble and it was hard enough to not leave any water marks. None of the other bar staff cared about the streaks but when they hit the light it was annoying and made the bar look dirty. So, Eren always seemed to get the job of cleaning up the bar. Not that he minded, it was a simple enough task.

A couple of hours past and the club began to filter out, the last dancer had ended their performance half an hour go but the music was still playing. The only people left in the club were the staff and a few of the regular customers. It was already late, or early, depending on how you look at it but no one was in a rush. The only thing that they needed to get to was bed. So while the rest of the town slept soundly in their homes, The Garrison slowly closed for the night. Eren wiped down the tables and collected any abandoned glasses, swept the stage and polished the pole, changed the barrels and restocked the bottles, and eventually he was finished.

“I’m done for the night Jean, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Eren shouted as he made his way to the door.

“Yeah see you. You behind the bar after or before you’re performance?”

“After. I’m going to see Mikasa before.”

“Okay, say hi from me.”

Eren smiled softly, “I will. Bye.” Jean came across as an ass, no, he was an ass. But he does care, of course it takes an age to work out when he’s being serious and when he’s joking, and of course he would never admit that he cared. The reasons that Eren didn’t like him, however, far outweighed the reasons to like him. So Eren sat in the ‘I’m not really a big fan of Jean because he is an asshole’ camp. Not that Jean minded considering that the feeling was entirely mutual. Jean and Eren had known each other for years and were well aware of the explosive attitude that the other possessed. It was probably due to their similar nature that caused them to lock heads so often. Neither of them would admit it but they had a silent respect for one another. When Marco and Jean had been going through a rough patch in their relationship, Eren had been the one to switch the light on in Jean’s brain. He had shown him that he couldn’t just shut down and not let Marco know why, he had been driving Marco nuts with worry, worry that Jean had been utterly oblivious to. So Eren had talked to him, offered a few strong words and a solid slap upside the head as a wakeup call. After that Jean talked to Marco about what was bothering him and the two had had a steady relationship ever since. And when Mikasa had first been diagnosed it was Jean that told Eren to stop freaking out and be there for her. It had been Jean that reassured Eren, the one that told him it wasn’t going to be like it had with his mum, Carla, because Mikasa was stronger. He had been there for Eren to shout at when he needed to vent his frustrations about his dad and the doctors and the number of tests they were putting Mikasa through and how he had no idea how he was going to pay for private care. Jean has been a reliable friend for Eren just as Eren has been for Jean. Although their friendship is based on shouting, arguments, name calling and a mutual dislike of one another but somehow it works.

After saying goodbye to everyone Eren dragged himself home to his dingy little apartment and collapsed into bed. It had been a long night and he couldn’t wait to fall into a deep sleep. He had no energy left to shower, that could be done once he had woken up from his comatose-like sleep. Once the weight was off of his feet his body sank thankfully into the mattress, grateful for the soft support. He had long since grown used to the dull ache of his limbs after a night at work, it no longer kept him awake at night too afraid of damaging his strained muscles to move into a more comfortable position. Now though he simply pushed it to the back of his mind and ignored the slow throbbing, it was like a second heartbeat to him now. Eren was exhausted, all he wanted to do was sleep, all he craved for was sleep. But it evaded him. His mind was awake and whirring, thinking up a series of whatifs and listing everything that he had to do tomorrow. His mind just wouldn’t shut up and let him rest. He was still worried about Levi, what if he was having nightmares, what if his cuts had become infected, what if his stitches had fallen off? The guy was a grown man and yet Eren was lying in bed worrying like a mother hen. He had Hanji and Erwin anyway, it’s not like Levi actually needed him. He had just needed anybody, Eren wasn’t special, Levi hadn’t reached out for him especially. It was all a coincidence, but Levi had voluntarily stayed with Eren when he had offered to take him home. He had wanted to stay with Eren and watch stupid movies. So maybe not all of it was just a coincidence. Maybe there was something there, maybe Levi held a tiny feeling of fondness towards Eren. Eren certainly hoped so. He couldn’t count the number of times he had thought about Levi, even before they had met. The man had been an idol to him, and his music had offered an escape to the shit that was happening in his life. Levi deserved happiness, he shouldn’t be dragged into the filthy and depression world that Eren resided in.

Eren brought his hands up to his face and scrubbed viciously, he needed sleep. He was desperately willing his mind to shut up. To his dismay it insisted on ignoring him and replayed finding Levi in the apartment and beating up Mike. He watched himself break the blond man’s fingers one by one, he could practically hear the bone splintering and the piercing shriek that followed soon after. It had been so satisfying at the time but looking back on it, it had been selfish. He should have just knocked Mike out and got Levi, instead he had given in to his violent impulses and indulged in some of his wilder instincts. Not to mention that Mike was a policeman. That was news that had sent a shiver of dread down his spine, he had beaten a police officer unconscious. There was no way that this wouldn’t come back to bite him, the only thing that he could cling too was that hopefully Mike was too proud to admit that he had been taken down so easily. If that was the case then Eren only had to worry about one man instead of the whole of Trost’s police force.

Eren let out a frustrated sigh and rolled over again. He was begging for sleep to wash over him, he was visiting Mikasa later and he didn’t want to look like a zombie. He had to show her that he was taking care of himself, show her that she had nothing to worry about. He should be the last thing on her mind after all. Her body was riddled with tumours and yet somehow she managed to be worried about Eren. He had told her on countless occasions that he was fine as long as she was getting better. His sister meant so much to him, she was the reason that he worked so hard, she was the reason he pushed past his limits and worked himself to the bone. She was going to get better, Eren was paying for the best care he could afford, she had to. Eren had no idea what he would do without her and didn’t even want to think about it, he had to believe in the treatment she was getting. On the day that she had been diagnosed with the same thing that had stolen their mother from them Eren had all but shut down. It was like he had been the one told that his body was littered with cancer and not her. But that had always been the way it was, Mikasa remained expressionless and Eren cried for her. She was strong both physically and mentally, she had been one of the best athletes at their school. She always placed first in each of her individual events, she was never one for teams. People often got to intimidated by her and shut her out, which made teamwork practically impossible. Even then though, her added strength often delivered the team to success. Mikasa hated having to rely on others, she always wanted to stand on her own two feet, with her own strength. Which is why, even when she is hospitalised, she will never ask for help. This is a stubborn trait that both of the siblings share.

A small smile crept onto Eren’s face as he thought of his sister, somehow she always managed to soothe his restless mind. He could remember times throughout his childhood when he had just woken up from a horrific nightmare screaming and panting, she would soon appear by his side. Her overall presence was calming and even just the thought of her was beginning to settle Eren. He exhaled softly as his eyes fluttered closed again, and this time he managed to fall asleep.

 

The obnoxious screeching of his alarm clock dragged Eren out of his sleep. His eyes snapped open and he shut off the irritating noise, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. He didn’t even want to think about the amount of sleep he had gotten because it was nowhere near enough. He only hoped that he didn’t look as bad as he felt, which he probably did. He could feel that his hair was sticking up at ridiculous angles, Eren ran his fingers through it in a pathetic attempt to tame his wild brown locks. He knew that it was pointless but there was no harm in trying. He threw on a T-shirt and a pair of black jeans , both were old but he had taken care of them they still looked fairly new. Today he had to check all of the sound equipment at the stage, just like he had to do every week. He had to check all of the equipment one day and make a list of what wasn’t working, then he had to submit a report so that he could go and buy all of the parts he would need in order to fix it, then he had to actually start fixing the faulty equipment so that everything worked. He rarely had to argue with his supervisors over the price of parts because it was cheaper than buying a new one. Although if that amp that blew before the Survey Corps’ concert broke one more time Eren was going to insist on buying a new one. It was getting ridiculous now, he had lost track of how many times it had caused problems, and there was a limit to how much duct tape and new parts could fix. With the amount of pats he had replaced Eren could have built a new one by now. But unfortunately where his superiors didn’t mind shelling out the cash for parts, replacing things was an entirely different ball game and it took a lot more convincing. Eren sighed as he dragged himself out of the door and off to work.

“I swear to god this amp is out to get me!” Eren’s co-worker, Franz, shouted.

“Which one?” Eren asked

“This one, the one with the yellow tape.”

“…It has yellow tape on it Franz, it’s broken. Wait, is that the one that I am in the middle of fixing up? If you have fucked it up I swear to go I am going to be so pissed.”

“Erm… I was just trying to help. It was just sitting there! I thought I could help you out and fix it before you got here. You seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment.”

Eren sighed, how could he be mad now? “I always have a lot on my plate Franz. I appreciate you trying to help, but there is a reason that I’ve been putting that one off. Its circuit board is fried, I’m going to need a day with it, it’s not a quick fix.”

“Oh… I didn’t know that. I thought it was an issue with the wiring.”

“Nope, sadly not. Leave it and I will get to it at some point. Right now let’s go see if everything else is working. Go grab the yellow tape and parts list.”

“Okay Eren, I am sorry about messing with the amp.”

“I already said it’s fine, go get what we need and I’ll meet you in storage.”

Franz smiled and dashed off to get the things they needed for their weekly equipment checks. He was a good guy, always trying to help where he could. This is one of the reasons that Eren found him irritating, even if the guy had no idea what was wrong he always tried to fix things. He often ended up making more work for Eren instead of less, but Eren rarely said anything. He just quietly undid the incorrect solution and redid the work. He would teach Franz the right way to do things and then let him figure things out on his own. If Eren just told him everything the guy would never learn. On a few occasions Franz has royally fucked up causing Eren’s temper to flair on the poor man, who always ends up staring at his feet like a kicked puppy. After that Eren always feels bad and sends Franz to work with Hanna, the two had been ‘secretly’ dating for a while now but are so obvious about it everyone already knows. They seem happy together and Eren can’t help but feel a little envious of their relationship. It seems like they could take on the world together.

Sighing Eren runs a hand tiredly through his hair, today was going to be a long day.

 

Once all of the equipment was checked over and all of the faults noted, Eren left Franz to write the report that needed to be submitted. The guy needed to practise it and frankly Eren just couldn’t face doing it after the day he had had. All he wanted to do right now was go home and catch up on the sleep he had missed. But he couldn’t. He had promised that he was going to see his sister today and after that his shift at The Garrison began. So instead of heading to his apartment he was walking towards the hospital. The fresh air hit his lungs and he began to feel better, well, more awake at least. One foot after the other hits the pavement as Eren set off at a brisk pace. For once he wasn’t going to be late. Far too often had he left work late and had to run to the hospital. Of course Mikasa never mentioned it but he could tell that she was always disappointed. He hated disappointing her. So he tried not to be late, unfortunately it was never that simply and on more than one occasion something crops up that needs to be sorted straight away.

Once he reaches the hospital he drops the ziplock bags off with Armin at the front desk. They exchanged a brief look but no words were said, Eren simply nodded to his blond friend before continuing to the elevators and pressing button for the third floor. Once the doors opened he was met by a familiar looking corridor. The boring white walls glared in the lighting and screamed cleanliness. Eren had never liked hospitals and yet he has spent countless hours in them. There was something about the way they smelled, they just reeked of chemicals. It was so impersonal and every visit only increased his dislike.

Walking into the last room on the right he smiled warmly, “Hey Mika. How’re you doing?”

“You look tired Eren. Are you taking care of yourself?” Mikasa asked completely ignoring Eren’s greeting.

He rolled his eyes, “Yes Mikasa I’m fine, it was just a long day at work today.”

She snorted obviously unconvinced, but she let the subject drop “How was work today?”

“Not bad overall I guess, Franz almost ruined an amp. You remember the one I told you about?”

“The one with the fucked up circuit board?”

“Yeah that one. Well basically I walked in today to find him with the back of it open and pulling apart all of the wires. When I asked him what he was doing he said that the wiring was bad. It was then that I explained to him that the wiring is fine, or at least it was, and it’s actually the circuit board that’s fucked. Of course he apologised with that dumb look on his face, you know the kicked puppy one with the big eyes. So I couldn’t stay mad. But yeah, I just left that to fix another time because I really couldn’t face trying to fix that today. So how was your day? Were the nurses nice to you or do I have some ass to kick?”

Mikasa chuckled lightly, her brother always managed to brighten her day even if he also caused her endless worry. “Not too bad, I sat in the garden and watched the flowers. Oh and you know the red ones that I like? Well they said that if I felt strong enough I could plant some more in the hanging baskets that are going to put all around the outside of the hospital. Of course I was strong enough, I mean I’ve been want to actually do something for I don’t know how long, so I leapt at the chance. Did you see them on your way in?”

Eren scratched the back of his neck, of course he hadn’t noticed, “Uh yeah… they were really pretty.”

“Liar, you had no idea.”

“Okay so I didn’t notice, but I’m sure that they are lovely.”

“Oh yeah and how would you know that?”

“Because you made them and you’re good at whatever you do. I mean seriously save some talent for the rest of us okay?”

“Can’t do that, sorry.”

“Damn, I was banking on that, I just entered a singing competition but now it looks like I’ll have to pull out.” Eren joked.

“Speaking of pulling out, you got yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend yet?” Mikasa deadpanned.

Eren choked on nothing, “Mikasa!”

“What? Can I not know about my darling brother’s love life?”

“No you cannot.”

Mikasa pouted, “But Ereeeen. I’m not going to meet anyone stuck in here so you need to find enough love for the both of us and besides I want to tell them all of your embarrassing stories before I take them to my grave.”

Eren frowned, “That’s not funny. You’re going to be fine, the doctors said that you’re getting better.”

Mikasa simply shrugged, “Whatever, but seriously have you found anyone?”

“Nahh” a slight pink glow spread across Eren’s cheeks.

“You’re lying again. Tell me everything! What’s their name? How old are they and how did you guys meet? And when can I meet them?”

“Mikasa, slow down. We’re not together but there is someone I like… you know the band I like?”

Mikasa nodded, “The Survey Corps”

“Well, I bumped into their lead singer in the street one day. I mean literally bumped into him, he ran straight into my chest an-“

“What your _chest_? How tall is he?”

“Like, 5’3””

“Pfft, short ass.”

“Shut up. He’s cute.”

“Yeah but Eren there’s a difference between cute and ‘oh my god I want him in my bed.’”

“I know that.”

“So… do you want him on top of you, pounding into you and making you scream his na-“

“Stop that right there. I am not having this conversation with my sister. What happened to you being over protective anyway?”

“Oh don’t get me wrong. When I meet him he will be put through a fierce interrogation about his intentions with you and make a clear threat that if he ever hurts you he will find himself a foot shorter than he already is.”

Eren chuckled “I can take care of myself thank you very much. But your concern is appreciated.”

“You can take care of yourself? Bullshit. Who was it that always got beat up at school? Oh yeah, you. And who was it that always swooped in and saved your ass? Oh yeah, me.”

“Mikasa that was years ago.”

“Doesn’t matter I’m sure you’re still a weak fuck.”

“Okay, rude.”

“Aww what’s wrong? Did I hurt you man pride?”

“Yes. Yes you did, you have fatally wounded me with your harsh, emasculating words.”

“Oh go cry to Armin.”

“Maybe I will.” Eren said trying to sound hurt and offended but the smile that pulled at his lips ruined the illusion.

Eren and Mikasa talked and joked for another two hours all the way until visiting times ended and Eren had to leave. Reluctantly he got up and said goodbye to his sister, promising that he’ll be back to visit her soon. On his way out he stopped to talk to Armin and they organised when they were going to have their movies, ice cream and pizza day. During the conversation Armin informed him that he had _sent off_ his paper for biology and that he should get the _results in a few days._ Eren smiled at his friend, he owed Armin way more than ice cream and pizza. After that their chatter returned to pleasant useless gossip. That was when he got the text from Erwin.

 

**From: Captain America**

_Eren, it’s Erwin. Levi’s locked himself in his bedroom and won’t come out._ _Something set him off but we don’t know what. He won’t even talk to us through the door. We’re worried. Come over as soon as you can._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, woo for cliff hangers am I right? No? Well, too bad because there you go ;)  
> I'll see you next update ^.^
> 
> p.s. I know I'm an ass, I'm sorry.


	18. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren arrives, talks with Levi for a bit then has to go to work.

As soon as he had received that text Eren’s blood had ran cold and his hands started trembling with worry. He had left Armin with little explanation, the blond just shouted his goodbye and told him not to forget about their movie day. Eren barely heard him over the blood roaring in his ears and the thoughts whirring around in his head. He ran to the address that Erwin had texted him, he didn’t have a car, nor did he have money with him so he couldn’t get the bus. It wasn’t too far from the hospital, he could get there with the brief instructions from Erwin. As he rounded the corner the apartment building loomed over him, casting a shadow in the evening sun. His heart was thundering in his chest and each breath was ripping out of his chest, his lungs were on fire. But he didn’t slow; Eren kept pushing forwards, taking the stairs two at a time as he went barrelling towards Levi’s apartment. It had been Erwin that texted him which means nothing was exaggerated. Erwin was never one to sugar coat his words, he was charming yes, but always to the point. That small detail made Eren push himself faster and pound frantically on the door when he reached the right number.

As soon as his fist made contact with the door for the third time it was wrenched open. As soon as he had opened the door Erwin was already ushering Eren inside and closing the door. Eren ripped off his shoes and asked urgently “Where is he? What happened?”

“He’s still in his bedroom, like I said we don’t know what set him off. We were just watching a film and-“

“What film?” Eren demanded.

“Er, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.”

Eren swore under his breath, “Yeah, that’d do it.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“It probably triggered him. It has a number of pretty graphic scenes in it, and I’m guessing that was the point he lost it.”

“But he was never bothered before. Fuck, you’re right. How could we have been so stupid?”

“You just didn’t think it through, he probably didn’t even think about it until it started.”

“That’s just it we _should_ have thought it through.”

“Look, don’t beat yourself up about it because that’s not going to help. Which room is his?”

Erwin’s eyes remained trained on the floor as he lead Eren to Levi’s bedroom door. Hanji was sitting with her back against the wall to the right of the door frame. He head was tilted back and her eyes were closed. Tear tracks carved stripes down her cheeks and her hands lay uselessly on the floor. “She’s been trying to talk to him, but he’s just shutting her out. She loves him like a brother.” Erwin whispered his gaze flickering to the broken looking woman before back to the floor. Eren simply nodded and walked towards the door. Hanji’s eyelids fluttered open and she dully regarded the figure in front of the door. Having been expecting Erwin she frowned when she saw a mop of wild brown hair instead of slick blond. “Eren?” She asked quietly. Eren nodded and gave a small smile as he offered her his hand “Why don’t you go and sit on the sofa with Erwin? I doubt it’s very comfortable on the floor.”

 She nodded mutely and took his calloused hand, leaning against him once she got to her feet. How was he so strong when everything else was falling apart?

Once her legs hit the front of the sofa she collapsed backwards and fell against Erwin. Hanji wrung her hands, pressing her fingers into her palms until the skin turned white. Her head hung and her wet eyes stared at nothing.

Eren knocked on the door. No response. He knocked again, this time he called out “Levi, it’s Eren. Can you let me in? You don’t need to come out if you don’t want to. I just need you to let me in. Can you do that for me?”

Eren’s breath caught in his throat as he waited outside the door. A shadow moved on the other side. Click. The shadow moved away. Eren let out the breath he was holding and briefly glanced at the pair sitting on the sofa. He nodded slightly and opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind him.

The icy December wind ripped through the open door, whipping around the hunched figure on the balcony. A shiver ran down Eren’s spine as he made his way over to Levi. The acrid smell of cigarette smoke wafted towards him, staining the air. “Hey, its goi-”

“Stop. I don’t need you fussing over me. I’m fine on my own. I don’t need you.” Levi’s voice was as cold as the wind that blew around them.

“Then why did you let me in?” Eren said gently.

“Why indeed.” Levi muttered bitterly as he flicked his cigarette butt onto the street below. He continued to face the open air and refused to look at Eren. “I’m not weak. You may have seen me at my weakest, you may have had to put me back together more than once, but I am not weak. I hardly know you and you’ve seen me at my worst. But I’m fine now and I don’t need you. I am strong enough to stand on my own. I mean come on Eren, you’ve hardly got time to try and fix some thirty year old man. This is ridiculous, all it took was one message from one of those assholes and you came running. Like a dog to a whistle. Go and live your own life Eren, because I don’t need you in mine. I’m fine. I always have been and I always will be… fine.”

“Are you finished?” Eren asked bluntly. Levi’s shoulders stiffened at the tone but he didn’t turn around. “That was the largest pile of bullshit I have ever heard. Stop pushing away the people that are trying to help you. You are not fine, Levi. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are. You’re allowed to lean on other people when it gets too much for you to handle on your own. You’re allowed to cry and shout and scream, you don’t have to keep it all bottled up inside. It doesn’t have to be me, it doesn’t have to be Erwin or Hanji but you have to let someone in Levi. If you want me gone then I’m gone it’s as simple as that. But you have to turn around, face me, look into my eyes and tell me that you don’t want me here. Once you do that I’m gone and you’ll never have to see me again.” His voice trembled in restrained anger, he didn’t want to shout but it was hard to hold back. Levi turned around and saw the brunet shaking. His green eyes were alight with an emotion the Levi couldn’t place, they stole the words from his mouth and left him there staring at Eren dumbly. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he looked at the brunet. He hastily scrubbed them away with the heel of his hand, smearing moisture across his temples.

“Do you want me here Levi?” Eren’s voice was devoid of emotion, it was like a switch had been flipped, suddenly Eren was calm and collected.

Levi’s head snapped up and he looked into Eren’s eyes. He couldn’t say yes, he couldn’t lie. But for some reason he couldn’t say no either. So he just stood their staring into the emerald eyes that are always playing through his mind, the eyes that somehow cut through darkness. “Do you want me to leave?” Eren repeated, his voice just as emotionless as before. Levi looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. “No” he whispered the barely audible admission of his weakness. The same weakness that, only two minutes before, he insisted on not having.  “Okay, you want to stay in here or go out into the living room?” Eren asked, warmth slowly seeped back into his voice. He wasn’t leading Levi into a choice and he wasn’t making him feel guilty. It was like Eren honestly didn’t mind which option Levi made. Of course Hanji and Erwin were been torn apart with guilt and worry, but Eren hadn’t mentioned that. The choice was solely with Levi, it shouldn’t matter about other people. “I can’t go out there.” Levi said his eyes growing in fear.

“Hey, relax. You don’t have to move out of here if you don’t want to. It’s fine, we can stay in here and talk… or not talk. Y’know it’s whatever.” Eren shrugged as he sat down on the bed.

“It’s whatever?” Levi asked with a raised brow, the tension in his shoulders slowly ebbing away.

“Yeah, it’s whatever” Eren smiled, subtly glancing at his phone. He still had some time before his shift started. He could stay for an hour without an issue.

“So, you going to tell me what made you lock yourself up in here?”

Levi’s eyes darkened and fogged over, he was silent for a moment and Eren didn’t think he was going to answer. “Look you don’t ha-”

Levi flopped onto the bed and threw an arm over his eyes “I think it was the film. I… I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just being with Erwin and Hanji, not that they meant to, they just didn’t act the same. It just reminded me of everything. I guess the film really didn’t help either. Especially since it was pretty similar, I mean she was restrained on the bed and… the guy just… he just…” more tears leaked out of his eyes, but this time he made no effort to stop them. Slowly, Eren lay down next to him and turned to face the raven haired man.

“Hey, hey look at me.” Eren said, gently pulling Levi’s arm from his face and forcing him to look into his eyes.  He cradled Levi’s hand gently as he spoke, “You can’t expect to be completely fine after something like that. I can talk to Hanji and Erwin for you if you want, it would be better coming from you but I can do it if you need me to.”

Levi shook his head, “I want to be the one to talk to them. I need to be the one to talk to them.”

Eren simply hummed in response. “They’ll understand you know. They won’t think any less of you, no one will. It’s just yourself that’s doing that.”

Levi took a ragged breath, “I know. I thought everything could just go back to normal. But how the fuck can I go back to normal knowing that he’s still out there. How am I going to be able to perform knowing that he’s in the crowd somewhere? How am I ever going to be able to relax? Am I supposed to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life? Everything turned to shit so fast… all I did was blink.”

“Of course it’s not going to be normal, but you’ll get through this. Hanji and Erwin will always be onstage with you, and he wouldn’t be able to get to you there anyway. But if you’re really scared about it, as anyone would be, you could hire a body guard or something.” Eren stated as he brushed a stray hair out of Levi’s eyes.

Levi nodded absentmindedly, “Maybe.” But if Mike ever pulled out his police badge he could easily bypass any security. Which, ultimately, meant that he would still be vulnerable. Levi hands began to tremble. “He’s really not going to go away is he? He is going to keep coming after me until I’m chained to him. It’s not going to matter what I do I’ll never be free of him. Even when he’s not here he still fucks with my head. I can’t even close my eyes without him being there, I’m scared to fall asleep.” Levi scrubbed at his eyes, as though he was trying to erase the dark circles that stained his skin.

“Did you sleep last night?” Eren asked, his voice was laced with concern and compassion.

Levi shrugged meekly, “I tried to.”

Eren just sighed and stared up at the ceiling as he ran his thumb over the hand he was holding. Levi didn’t pull his hand away, he remained still. The meaningless gesture somehow made him think that everything was going to be alright. That somehow they were going to fix everything and Levi will be able to live his life without Mike’s shadow looming over him.

With a strong calloused hand wrapped around his own, Levi felt his eyes slowly flutter closed. With the warmth of the body next to him his mind quietened and his breathing slowed. With Eren only a hand-squeeze away, Levi fell asleep.

 

When he awoke from his dreamless slumber Levi came to realise that the room was black with darkness, shadows loomed on the walls and chased away the slight. The other thing that he noticed was that he was alone. Levi’s heartrate sky rocketed and his breathing grew shallow. He threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, lunging for the door. He threw it open with a force that could rival any hurricane, the door handle smashed into the wall leaving behind a dent in the plaster. The loud bang caused Erwin to spring to his feet in a disorientated flurry of limbs. Hanji was far behind him, her eyes strobing around the dimly lit room. When the gazes settled on Levi the pair began to relax their stances. “You okay?” Hanji asked, yawning.

“Where’s Eren?” Levi demanded, his onyx eyes were wide with panic and his laboured breathing was the loudest sound in the room.

“Levi calm down, he went to work. What’s wrong?” Erwin replied calmly.

Levi forced himself to breathe slower; he forced himself to calm down. “Tch, fucking brat.” his voice was tense, the panic that was running rampant through him was poorly concealed. “What time did he leave?” _what time will he be back?_

Erwin glances at his watch “About 4 hours ago. He should be finished soon, but we told him to go home after he’s done.”

Levi’s hands began to tremble as he balled them into tight fists. _Nothing is wrong, I’m fine on my own. Since when did I need to rely on a bright eyed kid to make me feel safe anyway?_

“Good, the brat must be exhausted”

Hanji smiled, “Yeah, he did look pretty tired. There were massive dark circles under his eyes that rivalled even yours.”

“Tch. Shut up. I’m going to get some tea, you shit stains want anything?”

“No thanks short stuff.”

“Eyebrows, what about you?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Suit yourselves. Go back to sleep, you guys look like you need it.”

Levi didn’t have to tell them twice, as soon as the words had left his mouth both Erwin and Hanji had collapsed back onto the sofa. Their eyes slid closed and soon a soft snore could be heard throughout the apartment. The sound was oddly soothing, the regular rumbles from Hanji’s nasal track reminded Levi that he wasn’t alone. The sound kept him grounded in the present instead of drifting into the past.

Once Levi had absentmindedly prepared and then drank his tea he returned to his room. Crawling into the warm embrace of his duvet his closed his eyes and gave himself to sleep. This time however, it was tainted by a demon.

_Chains rattled. Sweat and blood mingled together, coating the floor in a crimson carpet. Levi looked down, his hands were covered in red, he looked up, his eyes found a broken brown haired boy with wild green eyes. Levi’s body moved forward, he couldn’t stop it was like he was a puppet on a string, dancing to someone else’s tune. Step by jagged step he grew closer to Eren. He glared down at the man who was weighed down by iron chains. Levi brought his foot down on top of Eren’s head, crushing his face into the floor. His fingers grabbed harshly at the soft brown locks and yanked Eren’s head upwards until he started to choke from the strain. Levi was screaming at himself to stop, with each and every whimper that passes Eren’s lips Levi grows more desperate. Again and again he lands blows on Eren, again and again a sharp cry of pain escapes. More blood trickled down his face, out of his swollen nose, dashing from a cut in his eyebrow and smearing across his cheeks. Eren was being stained red, he was being broken. He was being broken by the man he saved. Levi heard Mike’s voice echo in a never ending murmur. “You’re mine little bird, you can never escape your cage.” Suddenly a gun was pointed at Eren’s head and a beautifully sinister black birdcage encased Levi inside. He sprints to the bars, pressing his body against them and pulling with all his might. But they don’t move. The cage slowly shrinks. Levi is forced to his knees as he watches Mike move closer and closer to Eren. Eren’s eyes meet Levi’s and a sad smile flickers across his tanned skin. He whispers “I wish I never met you.”_

_Bang._

_The bullet burrowed into his skull._

_Eren’s lifeless body falls to the floor, green eyes unfocussed and unblinking. They were dead voids of nothingness. Mike slowly turns to face his caged little Levi. “You did this. You reached out to him, you tried to run from me. His blood is on your hands.”_

_Levi looked down, the cage was gone, he was standing. Levi let out a blood curdling scream, Eren’s head was in his hands. He dropped it, there was a wet thud as it hit the floor, it rolled twice before stopping and staring blankly at Levi._

Levi woke up screaming and thrashing in his bed. He couldn’t move, something was pinning his arms to the bed. His eyes fixed themselves on the ceiling, staring through the person above him. He didn’t know who it was he just saw the shadow looming above him. It was the same, it was exactly the same. Tears leaked out of Levi’s eyes as a sharp slap was landed across his left cheek. “Levi, get a hold of yourself.” Erwin’s voice rang out. Levi’s eyes moved off the ceiling and focussed on the blond that was looming over him. His piercing blue eyes dragged Levi back to reality.

Levi was panting hard, he was covered in sweat and he was shaking uncontrollably. “Erwin let go, I’m fine now.” Levi said, turning his head to the side and away from Erwin’s gaze.

“Like hell you are. It’s time to talk to us Levi, we just want to help you.”

“Tch. I told you I’m fine.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!”

“I’m fine. I’m fine, ImfineImfineImfineImfine! I’m fucking fine Erwin. Just peachy. Now get off of me and get out!”

Erwin got off of Levi be didn’t mv any further than that, “Levi, we’re just trying to help you. Please let us help you.”

“GET OUT!” Levi shouted, reaching for a tea cup that was on his bedside table and hurling it as Erwin. It missed, shattering against the wall into hundreds of pieces.

Erwin left.

“I’m fine…” Levi mumbled with his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed (?) the chapter. I'm sorry for any mistakes, I will go back and edit them at a later date.  
> Thanks again for reading and I'll see you next update! ^.^
> 
> Update (28/7/15): Hey guys, sorry for the lack of update I'm really struggling with this chapter and I don't want to give you a half arsed chapter. Sooo, chapter 19 will be up next weekend at the latest. Again I'm sorry but yeah don't worry I'm not deserting this fic.


	19. Movies and Arm Wrestling

“Jeager get your ass on stage. You’re fucking late.”

“Shut up Jean and focus on your own job.” Eren quipped back as he jogged backstage, weaving in and out of club-goers as he did so. He knew he was late, he knew he was going to delay the schedule, he knew that this was his last chance and he really didn’t need Jean of all people reminding him. He had stayed with Levi until he had fallen into a peaceful sleep, he looked like he needed it. If that meant that he would lose one of his jobs, well… he would cross that bridge when and if he came to it.

Changing into that night’s costume in record speed, Eren jogged to the stage steps. As he ran he yanked on his thigh-high stockings and clipped them to the garter belt. The first one went on easily and he had no issue, however the second one snagged on one of his nails causing the fabric to ladder and rip. Eren swore under his breath and started to panic. Why today of all days? It was a big rip on the inside of his thigh, there was no way to cover it up. Eren looked around desperately for another pair of a piece of ribbon or something but he found nothing. He took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a sharp humourless laugh.

“Eren what’s wrong? You’re supposed to be on like… now.” Christa said as she came running over to him.

“I laddered my thigh-highs.”

“What? Damn it Eren. Okay let me see,” She demanded as she bent down to have a look at the ripped fabric “These can’t be saved. But it’s okay I have an idea, but you’re going to have to switch songs.”

“Switch songs?! Are you insane? I can’t switch now.”

“Eren. Switch songs. Do you one of your more rocky routines tonight.”

“I swear you are going to be the death of me. Someone tell Jack to put on Caraphernelia and everyone else hope for the best.”

Christa smiled and ripped some more holes in Eren’s thigh-highs, she grabbed a studded belt from one of the rails and hung it around his hips. She ran her hands through his hair messing it up even more, until it resembled a porcupine. After that she took some body paint and spread it at random intervals as well as darkening his eyeliner. “This will do, now go be sexy and rugged!”

“All I’m hoping for is that I just don’t crash and burn.”

“You’ll be fine, good luck!” the blonde smiled as she pushed Eren to the stage. He stumbled through the curtain - _good start-_ and strutted over to the pole. He shot a smile to the crowd to hide his nerves, he hadn’t done this routine in a while and he wasn’t sure whether he could remember all of the transitions. _How does it start again? When do I come in? Oh god, how do I breathe?_

It felt like the first time he was performing all over again, his hands were growing clammy and his breathing was ragged. But as soon as the music started his fears melted away and his body took over. He soon remembered exactly which move was next and which transition to use to get there. For a blown out of proportion last minute wardrobe fix, it went really well. And now his private show slots were fully booked and he probably wouldn’t get to bed until four. Eren sighed as he stripped off his stage wear and changed into his private performance costume, this time being far more careful with his thigh-highs. Having changed he got straight to work welcoming his first customer. He didn’t have time to look at his phone which had been quietly vibrating throughout his performances.

 

When he got home Eren threw his phone onto the bedside table and collapsed into the soft embrace of the mattress. A tired sigh escaped him as he dragged his phone in front of his face after hearing it vibrate. Eight Unread messages. There were four from Armin alone, he was trying to organise a day for movies and pizza. One was from his service provider saying his new bill was available. The last three were from Hanji, Erwin and Levi.

**From: Un-Hanj-me**

_LEVI THREW A TEACUP AT ERWIN AND HE KEEPS SHUTTING US OUT WHAT DO WE DO._

**From: Captain America**

_We don’t know what to do we want to help Levi but he won’t let us._

**From: Captain Shortass**

_I know they texted you. Just ignore them, I’m fine._

Eren scowled at his phone screen. The messages had been sent hours ago and guilt instantly began to eat at his stomach. He wanted to go round and check that everything was okay but it was too late to do that. He wanted to call them but it was too late for that too so reluctantly he settled for sending a text to each of them, hoping that their phones were on silent.

**To: Un-Hanj-me**

_Hey I’m sorry for replying so late, I hope everything is okay. You need to calm down, and he needs some space. Don’t smother him._

**To: Captain America**

_If he doesn’t want your help you can’t force it. In all honesty it could do more harm than good. You need to be there when he is ready to talk but don’t be in his face about it. I know you’re trying to help because you care but he will need some space sometimes._

He paused before texting Levi, he knew what he wanted to say but he didn’t know how to phrase it. So Eren stared at his phone screen, typing and then re-typing his message until he just gave up and sent a simple _Hey, How’re you doing?_ He knew he was probably just going to get a blunt ‘I’m fine’ in reply but he thought he should ask anyway. Eren blew out a breath as put his phone down on his chest and closed his eyes. However he refused to fall asleep, he decided that he was going to wait an hour. Just in case. Eren took slow breaths as he waited for time to pass, seconds turned into minutes as he fought to stay awake. He scrubbed a hand across his face and blinded himself with his phone screen. Half an hour had passed since he sent the messages and he hadn’t received a reply. Does that mean that they are all asleep and are fine? Or does that mean that something is very wrong and they just can’t check their phones?

Groaning to himself he set his phone to loud and put it back on the bedside table. Eren could no longer fight off sleep and as soon as his head hit the pillow again, his eyes closed and he was pulled into unconsciousness.

 

Eren shot awake at a sound his sleepy mind couldn’t identify. Once he had blinked a few times he realised that it had been his phone. Scooping it into his palm he checked his messages. It was from Armin. Eren blew out a breath and rubbed both of his hands over his face before looking at what Armin wanted.

**From: Blond Coconut**

_Don’t forget pizza and movies round mine at 11! :D_

Eren groaned, there was still four hours until he had to go to Armin’s and yet the blond was reminding him now. Eren couldn’t help the slither of irritation that he felt towards Armin for texting him so early, that text message had successfully woken him up and reduced the chances of him actually getting a decent amount of sleep. So it seemed that today was going to be an autopilot day. On the bright side he still didn’t have a text from any of the Survey Corps and he didn’t have one from Petra, his boss, either. He sat up in bed and headed to the bathroom, he was awake now so he might as well get up. After having a lukewarm shower he got dressed and parked himself on the sofa with his laptop on his lap.

He attached his phone via a USB port and started downloading the photos of Levi’s injuries onto a blank memory card. When they were downloaded he maximized each image to ensure that the quality was good enough to be submitted to court if they were ever needed. After checking the images, he renamed each one with the date it was take and which part of the body it was of. Eren couldn’t help the anger that rose to the surface as he looked through the images. Mike had deserved everything that Eren had done to him, and more. Eren felt a small pang of dissatisfaction knowing that Mike might be able to get away with this in the eyes of the law. However he reminded himself that maybe one day Levi will press charges. Eren hoped for that.

Once he had finished the memory card Eren decided to waste an hour playing pointless games as a way to calm his anger. After the hour was up Eren decided to be productive again and he began searching with wide expanse of the internet for better paid jobs so he could switch one. He also looked in all of the crooks and crannies of various websites for money off vouchers so he could save that little bit more. At the moment he could afford keeping Mikasa in the care that she was in but if the prices went up he wouldn’t be able to cope and Mikasa would have to go back onto the NHS. Eren never got too comfortable with one arrangement, he was always preparing for the worst, always ready to adapt to whatever else life had to throw at him.

By the time 10:30 had rolled around Eren had vouchers for a range of products across three different supermarkets as well as discount codes for some take away pizza. Happy with his collection he turned off his laptop, put on his shoes and left for Armin’s.

 

“Eren! Hey glad you could make it” Armin said with a knowing smirk.

“Like I was going to forget when you texted me at seven in the morning.”  Eren replied, rolling his eyes.

Armin threw a devilish smile over his shoulder as he walked into his living room. Jean and Marco were curled up together in an armchair, Marco was sitting on Jeans lap and Jeans arms were wrapped around Marco’s waist. Connie and Sasha were sprawled on the floor with a bowl of crisps in between them, Ymir, Christa, Reiner and Bertholdt were all on the sofa.

“Nice of you to join us Jaeger” Jean called.

“Shut up Jean. Besides I can’t see Annie anywhere”

“She can’t make it, you’re the last one to arrive” Marco helpfully provided.

“Whatever, I’m on time. You guys just got here early.” Eren pouted.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you were last!” Christa called.

“Shut up, you guys chosen a movie yet?”

“Reiner, Bert and Ymir want to watch Insidious, Jean, Marco and Christa want to watch The Avengers and Connie, Sasha and I want to watch The Inbetweeners. Looks like you get the deciding vote” Armin stated.

“Hmm, it’s too early for a horror film.” Eren started, earning a groan of disappointment from Reiner, Bertholdt and Ymir, “and I’m not really feeling like an action.” He finished receiving a simultaneous cheer from Armin, Connie and Sasha, as well as an irritated tutting from Jean, Marco and Christa.

“The Inbetweeners it is!” Armin declared triumphantly as he ran off to find the DVD.

“So Eren what was that performance last night? I mean seriously Jack was so pissed at the last minute change, he almost took my head off” Ymir asked.

“Don’t blame me, Christa was the one that told me to switch songs! I’m just happy that I remembered all the steps, I mean that is a seriously old routine.”

Christa snorted, “You were the one that ripped your thigh-highs. It was the best solution I could see at the time.”

“What you couldn’t just get him new ones?” Jean questioned.

“None of them would have been big enough for him. If you haven’t noticed Eren’s thighs could crush a fucking watermelon.” Ymir chimed in.

“I…I’m not sure whether that was an insult or a compliment… should I be offended?”

“Nah, take it as a compliment. Nothing bad about strong thighs” Reiner winked, causing Bertholdt to shove him gently.

“I found itttt,” Armin chimed as he came back into the room waving DVD in the air.

“Put it on then, my dear blond coconut.” Eren smiled.

“HA, gayyy” Jean shouted.

“Oh yeah because you’re so straight” Connie responded without missing a beat, causing everyone in the room to start laughing because only Connie and Sasha could have answered back with that.

“What’s your thing with those two anyway Jean? Huh, you want them to get together? Do you ship it? Because I do… I ship it.” Sasha said and everyone stared at her open mouthed. “What? I do.”

Eren and Armin looked at each other wide-eyed before shit-eating grins spread across their faces and they started laughing their asses off. Armin wrapped his arms around his stomach as his body shook with laughter, while Eren covered his mouth with his hand and snorted every so often as he fought for a breath. Just as the pair began to calm down and pull themselves together they caught each other’s gaze, which resulted in setting them off again.

“A-Armin… s-stop laughing… I ca-can’t b-breathe”

“Y-you stop… ow, my s-sides… h-hurt.”

“Both of you just shut up” Jean complained. Eren an Armin stopped for a moment, letting silence fill the room. Eren glanced over to Armin out of the corner of his eye, only to find the blond doing the same. Once again the pair were overcome by a bout of laughter, they tried to hold it together but soon sounds began escaping from their pursed lips causing Sasha and Connie to start chuckling immaturely. "Oh you have got to be kidding me” Jean sighed. Marco looked down at his boyfriend’s distaste and couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled to the surface. Jean glared at him in betrayal, but the look on his face only made Marco laugh harder. Soon the whole room was full of cackling as Jean did his best to keep a smile off of his face. “I swear you are all idiots” he said grinning.

Eventually everyone’s laughter subsided and they sat down to watch the movie, which earned a few laughs of its own. When the movie ended they ordered pizza, Sasha had an extra-large all to herself as well as finishing off anyone’s leftovers. Everyone was convinced she had at least three stomachs, and that she must have a metabolism that rivals The Flash. Jean and Eren looked at each other, then the pizza box. There was only one piece of meat-feast left that had been saved from Sasha’s rampage. Both of the men lunged for it only to collide heads as the box was whisked away by Armin. Rubbing their heads, they both glared at the blond. “Armin, give me the pizza” Eren said.

“Shut up Jaeger. Armin, give it to me.”

“I thought horses were vegetarian.”

“I thought strippers had to watch what they ate.”

Eren growled in response, to which Jean smirked and said “I’ll arm wrestle you for it.”

Eren smiled and placed his right elbow on the coffee table, “Bring it.”

“Eren vs Jean in an arm wrestle? Man this is going to be over quick, you don’t stand a chance man.” Ymir laughed.

“Yeah, you hear that Jaeger.” Jean smiled.

“No, she was talking about you horseface. You can’t beat Eren, do you know how strong you have to be to be good at pole dancing? Heck, he’d probably give me a hard time” Reiner admits.

Jean laughed, but then he saw the look on Reiner’s face, “Dude you serious?”

Reiner merely nods a smile creeping onto his face, “Go on then Jean, don’t keep the guy waiting.”

Connie snickers “Unless you’re going to wimp out.  In which case I’m sure Ymir can come up with a suitable forfeit for you.”

Grumbling, Jean clasped Eren’s coarse hand and rested his elbow on the table. Christa came over and put her hand over theirs, “Ready?” she asked. Smiling Eren replied with a cheerful “Yup”

While Jean just nodded. “Okay then, three, two, one, Go!” She shouted, releasing their hands. Jean pushed against Eren’s hand as hard as he could but it didn’t budge, he looked up and saw the smirk that played on Eren’s lips. Jean’s face turned red with effort as he braced his other hand against the edge of the table. “Eren please stop toying with him, his pride can only take so much” Marco said from somewhere behind him. Eren blew out a breath of air and rolled his eyes before he slammed Jean’s hand onto the table with a smile. “Armin, I’d like my pizza please!” he sang, while Jean nursed his injured ego. Pulling his prize into his lap Eren happily munched on the last piece of deep pan meat-feast pizza.

“Y’know…” Ymir piped up, “I wonder who would win in an arm wrestle between Eren and Reiner.”

Eren looked up from his pizza, and glanced over to Reiner. The blond was built like a bull, he was a security guard for a reason and Eren had seen him throw out a number of greasy overweight men time and time again. As far as he could see the winner was pretty obvious… in an arm wrestle. “Reiner would, and I have no interest in embarrassing myself like Jeanyboy here, so I am more than happy to admit that.”

Reiner on the other hand simply hummed “I dunno man, you’re pretty strong.”

“Yeah but not _that_ strong. I’m not saying I would go down without a fight but I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t win.”

“See, I’m not so sure. I think we need to test it.” Ymir smiled mischievously.

“I’m game. Come on Eren it will be fun.” Reiner coaxed.

“Nah, I’m good thanks. I got my pizza slice and I already know who the winner is going to be so I don’t really see the point.”

“Don’t be a coward Jaeger. Just arm wrestle the blond gorilla” Jean taunted.

“Shut up Jean.” Both Eren and Reiner said together.

“Come on Eren, don’t be a chicken.” Connie added.

Gradually the room filled with various versions of “Eren just arm wrestle Reiner” and clucking noises, before eventually Eren caved and agreed. He tentatively placed his elbow on the coffee table and Reiner did the same. Christa placed her hand on top of theirs and counted down, “Three, two, one, Go!”

Both Eren and Reiner pushed against one another, their clasped hands trembled with the strain as they fought against each other. Reiner’s ridiculously large bicep bulged with power, as the back of Eren’s hand began to slowly fall towards the table. Eren’s hand quivered and Reiner gritted his teeth. Eren puffed out his cheeks as he blew out some air, forcing his hand back into the neutral position. Connie whistled his approval while Jean stared, open mouthed. “Dammit Eren…just…go…down” Reiner ground out. Not once had he been at risk of losing, but Eren was putting up a damn good fight and he was struggling to win. Sweat broke out on both Eren’s and Reiner’s foreheads as they remained in a deadlock for another minute. Then Eren’s hand began to give way as it inched closer and closer towards the table top. The brunet let out a strained “fuck” before his strength failed and his hand hit the table. Reiner let out a loud breath as he smiled, “I win.”

Eren simply laughed “well, I told you you would.”

“Dude, you put up a hell of a fight though!” Connie said enthusiastically.

“Yeah man, you surprised me with that” Reiner chuckled.

Ymir snorted, “Close your mouth Jean.”

“B…but. How? What? Jaeger… admit it you are some genetically enhanced robot aren’t you.”

“Calm down horseface, did the shock of losing break your brain?” Eren chuckled.

“I think it’s time for another movie! Can we watch The Avengers now?” Marco cut in.

“Huh, what? No. We should watch Insidious next!” Ymir argued

“It’s still too early for a horror film, they’re better when it’s dark and quiet outside... and I want to watch The Avengers” Christa stated.

“The Avengers works for me!” Sasha called as she returned from the kitchen with a tube of Pringles. Armin stared at her “Sasha… where did those Pringles come from?”

“Huh? The cupboard... why?”

Armin frowned, confused “Because I am pretty sure there was a lock on that cupboard.”

“There was? I guess that’s the reason it was so hard to open. Well you need to get a new lock then” She smiled.

Armin groaned “Sashaaa”

“Hey…” Ymir said, the mischievous grin back on her lips, “Who do you think would win between Reiner and Sasha?”

“If Reiner was standing in between Sasha and food, he’d be a goner for sure” Connie deadpanned.

“Hmm, maybe. You two should arm wrestle and see.” Ymir stated.

“Ymir, enough with the arm wrestling already. I’m bored of it” Reiner groaned.

“Only because you’d probably lose.” She challenged

“Are we talking about to Sasha or to you?” He asked.

“I could totally take you. So how would you feel being beaten by a girl half your size?”

Eren’s phone started going off, disrupting the arguing pair. “Sorry guys, I should probably answer this. Start the film or arm wrestling or whatever, without me.”

“Alright, go answer your phone. The ringing is annoying” Armin said.

Eren nodded and exited the room pulling the phone up to his ear as he hit the answer button. “Hello?” Eren answered.

“It seems you still have the same number. Come back to the ring Eren, your audience misses you.” A rough voice that Eren hadn’t heard in years, drifted through the speaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, I'm sorry it's late but I really wasn't happy with it last week and I didn't want to post it. So sorry for the long wait but here is chapter 19!  
> Chapter 20 will be up when it's done which will hopefully be by next weekend but who knows. Keep an eye on these notes for updates on progress.  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	20. The Suicidal Bastard

Eren froze, “Kenny?”

“You got it champ. So what do you say Eren you gonna come back and make me a lot of money? Is _The Suicidal Bastard_ going to rise again?”

“No. That part of my life is over and done with. I have no interest in coming back. Please don’t call me again.”

“Wait Ere-”

Eren hung up and let out a heavy breath. His phone screen lit up again but he declined the call, turned off his phone and slid it back into his pocket. Nights of bloody fists and looming shadows flickered through his mind. Eren pinched the bridge of his nose and leant against the wall, closing his eyes as he fought away the memories that had been dragged to the surface. He hadn’t spoken to Kenny in years, not since he left the ring.  It made him wonder why Kenny had called him now. Why after all this time?

Eren felt a stinging sensations shoot across his palm. He opened his eyes and glanced down to see a small trail of blood trickling from his clenched fist. Instantly he forced himself to open his hand, a drop of blood splattered onto the wooden floor. Eren stared at it for a moment absentmindedly, he watched as other drops joined it. The red smudge spread into the grooves of the wood, leaching across the planks.

“Eren?”

He looked up at his name and saw Armin standing in the doorway, looking at him with a concerned expression on his face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine thanks. It was just work.”

Armin stared at him sceptically but didn’t question it. He had long since gotten used to Eren not telling him what was wrong, and if he pressed it any further he knew that they would both just end up arguing. “I see, everything alright?” he asked

“What? Oh, yeah. But I’m going to have to go, sorry Ar. “

Armin hummed in response, whatever that phone call was about had really shaken Eren up. He had to let Eren go right now, but he would find out what it was. He needed to know what his friend was dealing with. Of course, Eren was going to insist on going through it alone but he was going to be there whether Eren wanted him to be or not.

“Wait Eren” Armin said and disappeared for a moment. Eren tapped his foot restlessly. When Armin came back he was holding a large brown envelope, “The results of the er… biology test.”

Eren barely registered taking the envelope and sliding into his bag as he nodded his thanks.

“Bye guys” Eren shouted as he walked out the door. He didn’t wait around for the disappointed groans from his friends. When the fresh air hit his lungs Eren took off in a run. His feet slapped the pavement one after the other as he ran. He felt his chest rise and fall in and even rhythm, _in 2 3 4… out 2 3 4_. Eren didn’t know where he was heading, he just took turn after random turn. All the while his mind was racing with memories and questions. They bled together in an incomprehensible string of conscious. Rough voices and snarling taunts shouted in his head as fists collided with faces and noses cracked and spurted blood. Eren’s feet moved faster, they carried him past the hospital. A pang of guilt erupted in his chest but he still didn’t stop. There was no point in see Mikasa when he was like this, when he was wrapped up in his own head there was no point in seeing anyone.

Eren began to slow as he turned a corner and the little brick bridge came into view. He smiled to himself as he stopped on the highest point and leant over the side, staring into the swirling water below. He wasn’t surprised that he ended up here.

‘Here’ was a small bridge that sat between a beautiful park and the bustling city. His mum used to take him to the park all the time. She would make a picnic and buy an ice cream cone each for desert and Eren would always, without fail, get it all around his mouth. After lunch they would go paddling in the stream and terrorise the poor fish. Eren would climb the trees and give Carla a heart attack when he jumped from the low hanging branches. He couldn’t help the fond smile that crept over his face as the thoughts of his mum chased away his worries.

Goosebumps rose across his arms as the wind blew his hair in all directions. A shiver crept down his spine, reminding him that he was standing on a bridge in the middle of winter without a jacket. Sighing to himself he pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. After the booting up sequence had ended, it began vibrating nonstop. When it had finished he glanced at the screen, he had 3 missed calls from the number that he now knew was Kenny’s, along with a number of texts from various people. One in particular caught his eye,

**From: Captain Shortass**

_We have a concert tonight in the same venue as last time, are you working?_

Eren stared at his phone for a minute, he wasn’t supposed to be working at the stage tonight… but he could be. Without a second thought Eren rung he boss and asked if he could work a shift this evening. Of course his boss said yes, they were always desperate for extra people on a show night. With a small smile on his face Eren sent a text to Levi,

**To: Captain Shortass**

_Yup I’m working, why do you ask?_

Having sent the text Eren gazed out across the river again, he watched it froth as it crashed against the rocks. A wicked wind whipped Eren’s hair around his cheeks as he stood on the bridge slowly bouncing from one foot to the other.

His phone buzzed,

**From: Captain Shortass**

_No reason. I’ll see you later then, brat._

Eren smiled at his phone, he could practically hear Levi’s snappy tone, and see the soft look in his eyes. Blowing out a breath he slid his phone back into his pocket and made his way to work.

 

“Eren! I didn’t know you were working today” Franz smiled in greeting,

“I wasn’t supposed to be but I decided to work and extra shift, and considering there’s a concert on the boss didn’t even hesitate in saying yes. So, how we looking?”

The smile on Franz’s face disappeared and suddenly he looked guilty, “Ahh, well… you see…”

Eren did his best to keep a soft expression but he was fairly certain that one of his eyes was already twitching, “What broke?”

“It-was-the-amp-that-you-told-me-not-to-touch-because-it-was-the-circuit-board-that-was-fried-and-not-the-wiring-but-I-thought-that-I-could-do-it-but-it-turns-out-that-I-couldn’t-and-it-kind-of-sort-of-blew-up…and I’m really, really sorry.”

Eren blinked, his mind trying to decipher the torrent of words that had just flown out of Franz’s mouth. “Did you just say that the amp with the broken circuit board blew up?”

Franz nodded mutely.

Eren was now certain that his eye was twitching in irritation. He blew out a sharp breath and resisted the urge to clobber Franz for not listening and leaving the amp alone. “Show me” he demanded flailing his hand in a random direction. Franz jumped and scurried away, leading Eren to the broken amp.

What Eren was met with was an amp that had the back popped open and all of the wiring pulled out. Some of the connections looked like they had been damaged and some of the bare wires were sparking. “Okay first up, would you like to explain why the hell the amp is plugged in and why it’s fucking turned on? Secondly why have all the wires been pulled out when I specifically told you that the wiring was fine? And lastly, why the fuck did you think it was a good idea to even touch this when I wasn’t here?”

Franz opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish before finally stammering, “I-I forgot t-to check if it w-was turned o-off. And I d-didn’t know w-where the circuit board was. A-and… I just w-wanted to try and do it.”

Eren sighed, rubbing his forehead “Franz, I suggest that you go help someone else, and stay out of my sight for at least an hour.”

Franz visibly paled and let out a tiny squeak before practically running away from Eren and barging past the short raven haired man who was standing in the doorway. “Is now a bad time?” a gruff voice asked.

Eren wheeled around and was met by Levi leaning on the doorframe. “Huh? Oh, hey. Erm, nah it’s fine, come on in.”

Levi snorted, “I thought that guy was going to cry.”

“Who, Franz? To be fair it wouldn’t have surprised me. I would have felt bad afterwards though, his puppy dog eyes are ridiculous, I’m not even kidding. I am convinced they those eyes are the reason the glaciers are melting.”

“They’re nothing compared to yours.”

Levi’s eyes widened as he snapped his mouth shut and a deep blush crept across Eren’s cheeks. Eren cleared his throat, “Anyway, you’re here pretty early right? What time are you guys on?”

“Not really, we’re on at 8.”

“Well it’s only 2 now, that means you have like 6 hours…”

Levi just shrugged, “At least we won’t be late. So, what you doing?”

“Just about to start fixing this mess. Come sit down if you want… or y’know whatever” Eren said as he trailed off.

Levi raised an eyebrow “Sit where?” he said looking around.

“Pick an amp or you’re welcome to sit on the floor”

“I am not sitting on the floor, it’s filthy” he scowled as he moved into the room and sat on an amp in the corner. Eren turned to the broken amp and sat down in front of it as he looked at the mess of wires.

“So, how you doing?” Eren asked, keeping his eyes trained on the back of the amp.

“Fine”

Eren snorted lightly glancing over at Levi, “Those dark circles say otherwise.”

“I’m just having trouble sleeping.”

“You know you can talk to me if you want. I’m usually up.”

“Forget it, at least one of us should get some sleep.”

“Did you just miss the bit where I said that I would most likely be up anyway?”

“Shut up. You shouldn’t have to talk to me just because I had a nightmare.”

“You’ve been having nightmares?”

Levi’s lips sealed into a thin line as he looked at Eren. After a while Levi slowly nodded, not meeting Eren’s eyes.

“About?” Eren prompted, forcing himself to keep working.

Levi was quiet for a moment, toying with the idea of telling Eren to mind his own business and telling him everything.

“You... and Mike”

Eren looked up, “Me?”

Levi slowly nodded his head and swallowed “Yeah.”

“What happened?” Eren asked, giving Levi his full attention.

“You died…”

“Sounds like a nightmare I should be having, not you” Eren said lightly with a soft smile.

“You want to dream of dying?”

“If it means you don’t do it for me. So, how’d I die?”

“Why do I have to tell you?”

“You don’t have to do anything. It might feel better to get it off your chest, it might not. Tell me or don’t tell me, it’s your choice.”

Levi stared at Eren, “You really want me to unload all of my shit on you don’t you.”

“Long as it’s not your actual shit, because I am not into that, I don’t mind what you unload on me.”

Levi snorted, a smirk creeping onto his face “You asked for it.”

“That I did.”

Levi’s face fell as he began recounting his dream that stole sleep from him “It was dark, I don’t know where we were. Underground maybe? You were chained up, and I was hitting you. I couldn’t control what I was doing, I knew the whole time that I was hurting you but I couldn’t stop.” As he spoke Levi began to shake, “The whole time I could hear Mike’s voice, and then a cage grew around me. It was a bird cage. A black bird cage.” His hands tightened into fists, “Th-then a gun was pointed at your head. Mike was the one holding it, and he just stood there with his finger on the trigger. He never took his eyes off of you and you just stared at me. You ignored him completely,” a broken laugh passed his lips, “you didn’t even look at the gun. You just stared straight at me. Then he shot you and you just fell limp on the floor. The shot was so loud, it echoed off of the walls. Then your body was gone and your head was in my hands.” Levi’s eyes glazed over as he recounted the final moments of his nightmare. “The blood stained my hands… I screamed and dropped your head.”

Eren walked across the room and sat down next to Levi, he placed a hand on his knee and looked into his eyes. “It rolled away… your eyes were so blank. They just stared at nothing. Mike had killed you for taking me away. I killed you.”

“No you didn’t, it wasn’t you.” Eren said firmly, “Listen, anything that happens to me is the fault of those directly involved. If I get hit by a car, that is either my fault for not looking when I cross the road or the driver for not paying attention. It would not be your fault. Even If I had been on the phone to you while on the way to your apartment, it still wouldn’t have been your fault. So, if Mike arrests me, beats me up or even kills me, it would not be your fault. That would be completely between me and Mike. You got it?”

Levi nods mutely, a frown pulling at his eyebrows. He laced his arm around Eren’s shoulders and pulled Eren’s head into his shoulder. Eren stiffened slightly at the sudden contact but gradually relaxed into Levi’s embrace. “I’d still blame myself…” Levi mumbled as he stared at the wall over Eren’s head.

“Yeah, I know, but you shouldn’t” Eren replied “…Levi?”

“Hm?”

“Call me next time.” Eren said, his voice wavered ever so slightly, he was unsure of himself. He wanted to be there for Levi, but if his nightmares were centred around him then maybe he shouldn’t be the one to help him through it. Maybe Levi needed someone familiar not someone new.

Levi gave a noncommittal grunt and unwound his arm from Eren’s shoulders. “You should get back to work.”

Eren studied his face for a moment before moving back to the mess of wires. “When do you have rehearsal?”

Levi glanced at the time, “Not for another two hours yet. Why, am I in the way?”

“What? No!” Eren shouted “... I mean, no of course not. I was just wondering.”

“Tch whatever, Brat.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as Eren continued to work on the amp and Levi fiddled with his phone. When an irritated huff rose from Eren Levi looked up and saw that half of the amp was on the floor. He marvelled slightly, “How do you know what all of that shit does?”

“Process of elimination along with a lot of guesswork.”

Levi blinked “Seriously?”

Eren looked at him and grinned “A lot of the time, yeah. I know what most of it does and how most of it works, but not all of it.”

“How did you get this job?”

“Jack, the sound guy at the club, taught me some stuff and said that he knew a place hiring.” Eren snorted, “He said that the hardest solution I’d have to use was to turn it off and then on again.”

“Well, he got that wrong.”

“Y’think?” Eren laughed holding up a bundle of wires. A crooked smirk stretched across Levi’s face and Eren felt like dancing in victory. Levi’s onyx eyes were glinting again, they had a kind of sparkle that revealed exactly what he was thinking. For someone that was praised for being expressionless, a lot of his emotions shone through those dark eyes, you simply had to know what to look for. Having seen them at their dullest, Eren was happy that Levi’s eyes sparkled again.

Just then Eren’s phone began to ring, without glancing at the number he answered the call. His eyes didn’t leave Levi’s until Kenny’s voice came out of the speaker and his gaze fell to the floor.

“Listen champ, I’m not appreciating the cold shoulder. After everything I have done for you, how dare you ignore me.”

The look on Eren’s face darkens and his lips are pulled into a grimace, he glanced up at Levi and shame suddenly washed over him.

“I’ve already told you I’m not interested. I’ve left that part of my life behind.”

Kenny snorted, “You don’t seem to get it. You can’t just up and leave, not in this business, not when you work for me.”

Eren growled down the phone, “You don’t seem to understand that I’m done. I’m not going to come back, besides I haven’t ‘worked’ for two years.”

“And it will make your comeback even more spectacular, you’d certainly live up to your name _Suicidal Bastard._ ”

 

Levi watched as Eren answered the phone, and as though a switch had been flipped Eren’s entire demeanour changed. He was no longer the strong, kind and concerned man that Levi had grown fond of but cold and harsh. When those green eyes flickered to meet his, Eren froze like a deer caught in headlights. He turned away from Levi and hastily made his way to the door. A frown crept onto Levi’s face as he watched Eren’s receding form. He could hear Eren’s distant voice growling down the phone. Levi was unable to hear what was being said, but Eren sounded pissed. It was like Eren had turned into a completely different person, Levi had never heard a tone even remotely similar to the one Eren was using now. It was angry and stern but very cold and collected. It was a mix that sent shivers up Levi’s spine.

Suddenly Eren let out an icy humourless laugh that somehow turned the air cold. It was painful to hear, it was a laugh saturated with darkness and horrors. It was a laugh that caused Levi to see Eren in a different light, it made him want to protect Eren, to hide him away from a cruel world. What had Eren suffered through for him to laugh like that? Levi didn’t know, but he found himself wanting to. He wanted to know everything about Eren, and it suddenly dawned on him that all he knew about the green eyed man was that he works three jobs. Levi scowled to himself, surely he knew more about Eren than that. Now that he thought about it, how old was Eren? Levi’s scowl deepened, the creases on his forehead becoming more pronounced.

“Careful, if the wind changes your face will be stuck like that.”

Levi jumped at the sound of Eren’s voice, when had he come back? He snorted in response, “Too late.”

Eren chuckled and went back to working on the amp like nothing had happened.

“What was the phone call about?”

Eren paused briefly in his movements but merely offered “An old boss was asking if I wanted to go back to work” as an answer.

Levi hummed, “Was it a bad job?”

Eren looked up at him a distant look clouded his usually bright eyes, “I left for a reason.”

“And that reason was?”

“It dragged me somewhere I didn’t want to be.”

“Well aren’t you being cryptic. Come on you shitty brat, tell me.”

“I’ve left it in the past, I’d rather not drag it up again.” Eren glanced up at Levi and saw the frown was still present on his face, he sighed and rubbed his forehead “I’ll tell you one day, just not today.”

With the frown still in place Levi nodded, “That better be a promise.”

“Sure, whatever.”

Eren turned back to the amp and began working again, hoping that Levi will forget about the promise sometime soon. It wasn’t really something he wanted to discuss with anyone, let alone someone who had their own issues to worry about. There was no point in burdening someone else, especially it’s all in the past. Although, how long it will stay that way is another matter entirely considering Kenny seems determined to drag it all back up.

Kenny had been one of Grisha’s friends, he had been there when Grisha had not been. When Gisha had shouted and screamed toxic words Kenny would be there to help Eren through his despair and anger. It had been Kenny that had taught Eren to release his feelings through his fists. It had been Kenny that had cultivated Eren’s rage into a fighting fury. Grisha’s words were the fuel on the fire that burned throughout Eren. It was when Carla died that Eren fully relied on fighting as a coping mechanism, and it was then that Kenny entered him in his first ‘official’ underground fight. Eren no longer picked petty fist fights with drunken strangers on the streets, now he fought muscled brutes in a steel cage. The spectators were out to make money and see blood. The would make bets on anything, who would win and who would lose, whether or not a bone would be broken, when blood would be spilled, they were rabid dogs starving for money and violence.

Eren had earned his title – _The Suicidal Bastard_ – in his first match, Kenny had set him up with one of the most notorious fighters in the city. It had been a very one sided fight but Eren exceeded everyone’s expectations leading the spectators looking forward to his next fight. They seemed to enjoy watching the boy stagger back to his feet whenever he was beaten down. A game emerged which quickly became popular, _How many times will the bastard get up_? The crowd would scream for Eren to stand back up and they would shout for him to stay down, each and every one of them had money riding on how much abuse Eren’s body could take. Kenny was the one who instigated this game and incidentally he was the one to make the most money off of it. The fifteen year old Eren Jaeger was a goldmine that Kenny would mine dry.

A year into his illegal cage fighting career Eren began to lose his worth as people grew bored of their game. After a year of being pummelled by one opponent after another he knew how to roll with punches, it was taking longer and longer for Eren to go down. A year into his cage fighting career Kenny set up a match that Eren wasn’t supposed to walk away from.

But Eren had surprised everyone, he snapped while he was in the ring. Suddenly all the pent up rage from being constantly beaten was released and Eren attacked his opponent with animalistic fury. And just like that Eren’s worth skyrocketed, winning that fight made him a goldmine once again. Kenny began setting up fairer fights and treated Eren like a fighter instead of a punching bag.

It was then that Eren rose to fame and became one of the top fighters in the city. His skill grew as he fought tougher and tougher opponents. Eventually he beat the people that used him as a punching bag. He would make them count the punches he landed just as everyone had counted the punches that had been landed on him. At the age of nineteen he was a ruthless fighter that dominated the cages and raked in cash for all those who bet on him.

However, when the repercussions of his success began to follow him home Eren wanted out. When mob bosses and drug lords badgered him to join them Eren wanted to wash his hands of it. When Mikasa was diagnosed with leukaemia Eren wanted to support his sister in any way that he could, so without hesitation he threw all the money he had made at private health care. He worked as many hours as a day would allow and shook free of the illegal fighting. His exit from the ring had lost a lot of people a lot of money and they let him go with little fuss. With a few broken bones he was finally free of the cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here *throws chapter at you*  
> This one took a long time because I couldn't quite get it right. But having said that, for now I think is as good as it's going to get. I will probably go back and adjust this chapter until I'm happy with it but I wanted to give you guys something. I wouldn't say that this is a half assed chapter, because it's not, it is a very full assed chapter. I'm just going through a stage where I'm hating everything I write at the moment.  
> With that being said, I think that taking a break from this story is actually one of the worst things that I could do at the moment. So I'm going to keep updating, and keep writing because I love what I have planned for this story and there is no way in hell that I am abandoning it. You guys reading this are great and I would like to thank you so much for staying me! Updates may come a little slower for a while, probably once every two weeks instead of every week, but I will still be updating. I'm going to be looking back at older chapters and possibly altering them a little, I'll let you know if I do.  
> And, yeah. That's pretty much what's going on with me at the moment.  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for reading ^.^


	21. Brontide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brontide - a sound like distant thunder

“Great show guys, as always.” Eren smiled as the members of the Survey Corps came off the stage.

“Thanks cutie pie, I’m glad you enjoyed it!” Hanji said as she bounded down the stairs and tackled him with a hug. The air was knocked out of his lungs and the bespectacled woman wound her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey shitty glasses let the brat breathe.”

“Oh shut up short stack, you’re just jealous because I have more balls than you do.”

“What did you just say?”

Hanji smiled, “I said that you’re just jealous because I have the balls to make a move on Eren and you don’t.”

Eren choked as his cheeks flushed red while Levi stared at Hanji with a shell shocked expression on his face. At the sound of Erwin’s chuckle Levi pulled his face back to a neutral stare. However it soon morphed into a frown when he realised that Hanji had well and truly called him out. He glanced up at Eren who was visibly trying to force the blush off of his cheeks, Levi’s eyes dropped to Eren’s lips. _Ahh fuck it._ Levi blew out a breath.

“Eren, do you like me?”

Eren spluttered at the blunt questions, “er… well… mhmm, er I mean. Yeah.”

“Good.”

Before he could regret it Levi stepped forward, grabbed Eren by the collar and pressed their lips together. Eren’s eyes widened and his whole face took on a shade that a tomato would be jealous of. Hanji’s squeal of delight fell on deaf ears as Eren closed his eyes and melted into Levi. Levi’s heart was pounding in his chest, thankful that the brat had responded and not just stood there like a statue. Eren’s hands itched to run through Levi’s hair but he restrained himself.

Erwin cleared his throat with a raised eyebrow and the two separated. Eren looked sheepishly at the floor, stealing glances at Levi every so often. Levi on the other hand shot Hanji a triumphant look and met Erwin’s stare with one of his own. As he turned around to walk away a blush rose to the surface and a small smile tickled his lips.

“Ohh no, you’re not getting away that easily!”  Hanji shouted as she came barrelling towards him, arms outstretched.

“Hanji… No. Stop. HANJI.” Levi glared at the crazy woman and started jogging, “Shitty glasses, fuck off, Hanji!”

As Hanji was chasing Levi, Eren was attempting to gather his thoughts as he began to regain brain function. A massive grin spread across his face as he looked up from the floor, his cheeks were strained red but Eren didn’t care. In that moment, everything was perfect.

A firm hand slapped him on the shoulder; Eren looked up and saw Erwin beaming at him “About time, he’s been wanting to do that since day one”

Eren’s eyes widened as he opened and closed his mouth, unable to find the words he was looking for.

Erwin chuckled, “I never thought I’d see you speechless. Come on, let’s go save Levi from Hanji.”

“Too fucking late, shit-brows.” Levi shouted

Erwin and Eren turn at the sound of the gruff voice and both are forced to hold in a snigger. Hanji had her arms wrapped around Levi with her chin resting on his head smiling widely. “Okay short stack, now ask him out!” she squealed.

“What?”

“I said that you should ask him out. You know you want to, I mean you just kissed him so what the hell right?”

Levi glared upward at the brunette, unable to meet her eyes due to their positioning “Face me so I can glare at you”

“Nah, I’m good. Now go ask him.”

“Hanji...” Levi warned

“I won’t let you go until you go ask him.”

“I’m not going to ask him out with you hanging off of me. Now fuck off.”

“Only if you’re going to ask him.”

“I swear to god Hanji I am going to cut off your arm and feed it to you if you don’t let go.”

Hanji huffed, “Are you going to ask him or not?”

“YES!”

“Yay! Get to it then my grumpy little dwarf, time’s a wasting!” Hanji said as she unwrapped her arms from the shorter male and pushed him towards Eren. Having not been at all quiet with their argument Erwin and Eren were staring at them. Erwin was smiling brightly as he gave a thumbs-up to Hanji, congratulating her on a job well done. Eren, however, had been taken over by a blushing red statue. He was tempted to ask Erwin to pinch him but thought better of it, because if this was a dream he certainly didn’t want it to end.

Levi stumbled slightly while grumbling to himself. Stopping in front of Eren and Erwin Levi glared at the blond until he left them alone. Erwin departed with a knowing smirk and a wink at Eren. Blowing out a breath Levi glanced up at Eren, and saw that the brunet was already looking at him with his gorgeous eyes. Suddenly stunned into silence Levi found himself unable to move as he lost himself in those emerald orbs. A pink tint grew on Levi’s cheeks as he continued to stare at Eren. His chocolate brown hair was sticking up at all angles in a wild and untamed mess. His lips were slightly parted and the blush had extended down to his neck.

“Oh my god he’s adorable.”

“Um… thanks”

“Shit, did I say that out loud?”

“Yup.”

“Well… uh… yeah. Whatever, so I guess you heard me and Hanji.”

“You two weren’t exactly quiet.”

“So… do you want to?”

A devilish smirk appeared on Eren’s face, “Want to what?”

Levi narrowed his eyes, “Come on, don’t be an asshole. You know what I mean.”

Eren pulled his brows into a confused frown, a smirk still tugging at his lips “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You little shit” Levi sighed, “Alright fine. Eren Jaeger, will you go out with me?”

“Levi Ackerman, I would love to.” Eren beamed and moved his lips until they were millimetres away from Levi’s, then he waited.

Levi closed the gap and pressed their lips together, one hand dug through Eren’s soft hair while the other wrapped around the back of his neck pulling the brunet closer to him. Eren tentatively raised his hands and placed it on Levi’s cheek. Where Levi’s grip was strong and demanding, Eren’s remained soft and gentle. Levi nipped at Eren’s lower lip as he impatiently waited for Eren to part his lips, which he did with no hesitation. When Eren’s lips parted Levi delved deeper into the kiss, revelling in the warmth of Eren’s mouth. Levi’s hand moved from Eren’s neck down to his lower back as he pressed them together. He felt Eren smile against his lips as they pulled apart.

“Are you happy now? That was some really sappy shit so you better be” Levi grumbled as he tried to fight off a smile.

Eren hummed, “Very.”

“Good” Levi said as he rose on his toes and kissed Eren softly, “Why do you have to be so fucking tall?”

Eren shrugged “Genetics?”

“Alright you don’t have to be a smartass about it.”

They both chuckled lightly before they were interrupted by a loud “AWWW! You guys are so fucking cute! And it’s about god damn time, I mean seriously I was about to lock you two in a room together.”

Levi’s head snapped up, “Shut up Hanji.”

“So, you guys want to go to the bar, or out for dinner or what?” Erwin asked.

“Well, I’m actually scheduled to dance tonight so I have to go to the club.” Eren said rubbing the back of his neck.

“I wanna go and watch my lil pumpkin dance!” Hanji squealed.

“Ah, that’s okay. You don’t have to, you’ll probably just get bored.” Eren’s gaze flickered to Levi and then back to Hanji, furrowing his brows slightly.

“I could never get bored at a club Eren. So let’s go.”

Eren’s brows tugged together in an unimpressed frown, he tried to catch Hanji’s attention but it seemed that she was hell bent on looking anywhere else. Giving up on the bespectacled woman, Eren turned his frown on Erwin, flicking his gaze to Levi and then back to Erwin.

Erwin frowned in confusion, “It sounds good to me…?”

“Yay! It’s decided then, let’s go!”

 Eren mentally slapped himself in the face and mumbled under his breath, “For supposedly smart people, they are both as dense as fuck.” Sighing he turned to Levi a soft smile spreading across his face “Hey, you okay? You don’t have to go you know, I can walk you home or something.”

Levi’s face hardens into a cold mask, “I’ll be fine.”

Eren looked at Levi sceptically, “Alright. I’ll ask Reiner and Jean to keep an eye out anyway. If you start feeling uncomfortable tell one of them to come and get me, or tell Hanji and Erwin. Y’know… just tell _someone._ ”

Levi nodded minutely before following Hanji and Erwin out of the door. Eren frowned worriedly as he watched the back of the small man retreat through the doorway.

 

“Eren, hurry up! One of the other dancers cancelled, they moved your performance up” Connie cried, ambushing him as soon as he walked through the door.

“What? Shit, why didn’t you guys fucking call me?”

“Don’t shoot the messenger dude.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry Connie. But seriously did it not occur to anybody that you guys could just ring me?”

“Look I dunno, just go and get ready.”

“Yeah, yeah. I need to talk to Reiner and Jean first though.”

“Eren you don’t have time! Please go and get ready you stubborn fuck.”

“I will go get ready as soon as I speak to Reiner and Jean.”

“Eren, I swear to god. Please, for the love of fuck jus-”

“Jaeger! What are you doing? Get your ass on stage!”

“Ahh Jean just the man I wanted to see.”

“Now isn’t the time to chitchat Eren, go and fucking do your job.”

Eren scrubbed a hand over his face, anger beginning to bubble to the surface. “ _Listen_ , I will go and get ready once I have spoken to both you and Reiner.”

Eren’s tone caused Jean to snap his mouth closed and take in the brunet’s expression. His lips were pulled into a tight line and his green eyes were glowing dangerously. Jean sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Alright, you win fucktard. What’s up?”

“You know the short black haired guy I arrived with.”

“Yeah”

“I need you to keep an eye on him. Last time he was here some shit went down, something that I don’t want to go into and you don’t need to know, long story short if someone is bothering him I want you to make a note of who they are and what they look like.”

“Am I looking out for anyone in particular?”

“Blond hair, blue eyes, tall, but not the guy we came in with obviously. Look, just keep an eye on people who approach him. I’m going to ask Reiner to keep an eye out too, and I’ll be watching from the stage.”

Jean watched Eren carefully with his arms folded across his chest. The look in Eren’s eyes unsettled him so he simply nodded “Alright, now go get your ass on stage.”

A grateful smile found its way onto Eren’s face “Thanks horseface, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah whatever, fuck off already.”

As Jean walked back to the bar and double checked he did in fact know who Eren was talking about, Eren jogged off to talk to Reiner.

“Hey Reiner!”

“What’s up Eren? Shouldn’t you be on stage?”

“Yes I should. But that’s not important right now. I need a favour.”

“Whoa, I haven’t seen that look on your face in a while. What do you need?”

“See the short guy by the bar, black hair, next to the crazy brunette and tall blond guy?”

“Yup.”

“Keep an eye on him, you see him getting uncomfortable about anyone approaching him could you go and see if he’s okay?”

“Oh is that it? What is he just hugely unsocial or something?” Reiner chuckled.

“I’m serious Reiner. Even if that guy is a secret agent or some shit, you tell them to back off.”

Reiner’s eyes widened slightly, “Alright man if someone bother’s the midget I’ll come running.”

Eren clapped him on the back, “Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I’ll be watching from the stage and I’ve got Jean on the lookout too.”

“Holy shit Eren you asked the horseman for a favour? If you had opened with that I would have realised how much this meant.”

“I see that now. Anyway I’m supposed to be on stage so I’m going to get going. Bye Reiner, thanks again.”

“No problem Eren, shoot me a wink during your performance and we’ll be even.”

Eren found himself smiling as he retreated behind the curtain “Oh yeah, and what would Bert have to say about that?”

Leaving Reiner’s booming laugh behind him, Eren walked into the shit storm that was blowing full force backstage. People were running around like headless chickens. Eren swerved around the bustling bodies and grabbed his costume off of the rail. At least there wasn’t any fabric that could tear easily this time. On his way to his dressing -room Eren was already tugging off his shirt and unbuckling his jeans. Some of the other dancers sent him a knowing look and nodded their head in greeting.  He yanked the leather waistcoat onto his shoulders, he looked down for the buttons but finding none he assumed that he was meant to wear it open. Bursting into his dressing room he found Annie waiting for him, despite her presence he continued stripping of and getting changed. She had seen him on stage in less, so what was the point in getting shy now?

“Eren, you’re supposed to be on stage right now. You’re delaying the whole program. Hurry up!”

“I know, that’s all everyone has been saying since I arrived. I had some stuff to take care of first, okay?”

“You’re such a dumbass. By the way you’re dancing twice tonight.”

“What?!”

“Keep your voice down” Annie replied in a bored tone “You’re replacing Jessica, she can’t work tonight for whatever reason. But because the boss is a money grabbing dumbass he decided to put you on twice instead of just picking someone who wasn’t dancing tonight.”

“Ugh, I’ll ask Petra to rein him in later. I’m going to die. How close together are the performances?”

Annie shot him a sympathetic look… that couldn’t be good. “They’re back to back, you have 5 minutes to change costumes in between.”

Eren paused in putting on his makeup to groan and hang his head, “They really are trying to kill me.”

“You’ll be okay, you’ve got the stamina and body strength.”

“My grip starts to go towards the ends of performances though, let alone doing two in a row.”

“I’ll ask someone to clean the pole in between and you can always put some chalk on your hands just in case.”

“Yeah, thanks Annie.”

“Whatever. Need a hand covering that scar?” she asked, her eyes lingering on the rough white line that marked the skin above his hip bone.

Eren stiffened slightly, “No I’m good.”

He could feel Annie’s cool eyes on him as she took a moment to observe his movements and deciding what to say next. “You do a good job at hiding it. I never would have guessed it was there.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the idea. I should get on stage.”

Annie simply nodded and watched him go, wondering what else he was hiding. She wasn’t usually one to get involved, but that scar had piqued her interest. It looked old and faded, but it still leaped out of his skin and screamed its existence. That scar had a story and she was going to find out what it was.

 

During his performance Eren kept his eyes roaming across the crowd but settled on Levi every few seconds. He assured himself he was just being paranoid but he couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was here. It definitely wasn’t Mike, Eren would have spotted him instantly. There was someone though. Eren was thankful that he’d been dancing a long time, his routines were programmed into his body and it allowed his mind to wander. Kenny had rung him asking him to go back to the ring, he and Levi were now together, and now he was set to dance two routines in a row. Today had certainly been a crazy day. He couldn’t help the smile that fought its way onto his face as he thought about the fact that he and Levi were together. Eren forced himself to turn the smile into a sultry smirk, a good smile really didn’t fit this routine and it would ruin the atmosphere.

He still had that prickling feeling that something was out of place, his eyes glanced over to the bar. Levi was talking to Jean, that was weird but it wasn’t the source of the prickling sensation. As his first performance drew to a close Eren’s eyes darted over the crowd, a sultry smile plastered on his lips. Who was it? He had to find them, he had to find who was putting him on edge.

When his eyes searched a dark corner, they froze and zeroed in on a lanky figure. Eren’s gaze flickered to Levi before returning to the figure, was it Mike? No, they weren’t broad enough and they weren’t looking over at the bar. Mike wouldn’t have taken his eyes off of Levi. Then who… Eren’s eyes widened slightly. His breathing became ragged as he realised that the figure was looking straight at him. His eyes were small shifty. They traced the hard lines of his body and a disgusted shiver crept down Eren’s spine. The eyes narrowed as they stared just above his hip, an eyebrow raised. Eren could stop himself from frowning as the man met his eyes. He wasn’t looking at Eren like a dancer, he was assessing his strength. Eren had faced looks like that countless times in the past, that was when he realised that this man must know. He must know about his career in the ring. Eren’s heart began to beat faster, first Kenny’s call and now this man shows up. It’s not a coincidence. He scrutinised the man further and dug in his memory for who he could be. Scraggly beard, a sad excuse for a moustache, dark hair, average height. Eren struggled with his memories, but he just couldn’t think who it was. Someone new on the scene? But how would they know about the scar, that story dried up even before he left. In which case he must be a direct link to Kenny. A growl sounded in the back of his throat as he finished his performance and strutted off stage, his mind racing. Why were they coming for him now? He got out, he was out for two years. Why after two years? Why?

 

“So you gonna tell me why Eren’s got me babysitting you?” Jean asked.

“None of your damn business, and you should’ve said no. I’m fine on my own.”

“Look man, whatever’s going on Eren obviously cares about you and I’m not sure I’m happy that you’re pulling him into the middle of your shit. He’s got enough of his own.”

“Where did that come from? I thought you were the asshole that didn’t like the brat.”

“True we don’t always agree on things but at the end of the day I care about him. I’ve known him too long and I guess the bastard grew on me.” Jeans eyes flashed to meet Levi’s “You tell him that and I swear to god I’ll spit in your drink.”

Levi glared, “You wouldn’t.”

“He would, Jean means every threat he makes” Connie chimed in, while Jean smirked slightly.

“Tch. Alright, whatever.”

Once Connie had passed Jean started again, “Seriously though, Eren has a lot to deal with and he really doesn’t need anyone else’s problems on top. He’s barely managing to sleep with all the jobs he’s working. It’s hard not to notice the giant circles under his eyes every time he walks in. I swear to god if you’re using him…”

“I’m not using him!”

“What does Eren mean to you?”

Levi choked on his drink at the abrupt question, “Eren is… Eren is a really close friend.”

“Ohh Levi you’re so cold! Just say that you’re madly in love with him and have been in a good mood ever since he said yes to going out with you.”

“Trust you to show up now Hanji…”

Jean snorted, his eyes flickering to Hanji before returning to Levi. “If that’s how it is, then you better look out for him too.” He said before mumbling, “He’s not as strong as you think” and walking away to serve other customers. The low voice he used meant that only Levi had heard what was said and a frown pulled onto his face.

“Hey Levi, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Erwin’s voice caught his attention as the blond and another man sat down at the bar. “This is Nile Dok, we knew each other back in college.”

Levi hummed acknowledgement but didn’t say a word. “Don’t mind him, he’s just a grump. It’s nice to meet you Nile, I’m Hanji!”

 

The second time Eren came out on stage his gaze instantly went over to the dark corner, only to find that the man had gone. A small sense of relief passed over him as he continued to the pole. He looked over to the bar to check on Levi. He froze. Dread and curiosity filled his mind, the man that had been in the corner was now sitting next to Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooookay, sorry about the lack of updates but here you are my dear readers. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you don't feel like their relationship is being rushed or forced. Because forced relationships really irritate me so I hope it seems natural.  
> Updates will come once every two weeks as I start work on these last 9 chapters, heads up they are going to be action packed and might rip your hearts out a bit.  
> Thanks for reading! All of the comments and Kudos are amazing and really appreciated. They are keeping me motivated so THANK YOU! ^.^
> 
> See you next update...


	22. Clouded skies

“So how have you been Nile?” Erwin asked sipping his drink.

“Yeah not bad, I’ve only just moved here for work actually.”

“Oh yeah? What do you do?”

“I work in recruitment, I transferred to the local branch recently.”

“Recruitment? Wow, I didn’t think you’d go into that to be honest especially considering you were never a people person.”

“Haha, I know if someone told me I was going to be doing this back in college I would have laughed in their face” Nile smiled.

As the two old friends continued their conversation they were completely oblivious on the three sets of eyes that were trained on them. The primary target of the gazes was Nile and the question that was floating around was how he knew Erwin. Eren was the only one who had made the connection to Kenny and knew the actual purpose for Nile to be there. Reiner and Jean were simply doing as Eren had asked, but something was unsettling about the beady eyed man.

Once Eren was finished with his second performance he went backstage to change and went to Levi as fast as he could. His mind was still racing, how had that man known where to find him? Does this mean that Kenny knows too? What about the other participants of _Walls_ , do they know to? Was he going to have to disappear again? If that happened would Levi and Mikasa be okay?

Eren groaned out loud as the questions flooded his mind. He knew he needed to calm down, he was panicking and that was not what he needed to do. Right now, he needed to find out what the man knew and what he wanted. Blowing out a breath Eren pulled a calm mask onto his face and walked over to the bar, catching Reiner’s eye on the way.

“Hey guys, sorry for making you wait” Eren greeted.

“Hey Eren!” Hanji smiled, waving.

“Hey brat” Levi said nodding to the stool beside him.

“So who’s our new friend?”

“Oh I’m sorry, how rude of me. I’m Nile Dok, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Eren Jaeger” he replied with a tight smile, Levi looked at him and frowned slightly. Eren seemed a little off, there was something in his smile, something in his eyes. It was cold and fake, it shouldn’t be there. Eren’s hand found its way to Levi’s shoulder, and rested it there softly, he rubbed small circles. Levi’s frown deepened, what was going on?

“That was a very nice performance you gave up there.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it” Eren’s hand squeezed Levi’s shoulder. “So what brings you to Mitras, Nile?”

“Work, a client of mine is looking for an old employee. Apparently he was their top worker and my client was wondering if they wanted their job back.”

“Huh, sounds like boring work. Your client tried calling this old employee of his?”

Nile hummed, “Supposedly the old employee said no.”

“And what made your client believe that you would be able to change this ex-employee’s mind?”

“What makes you think that I can’t?” Nile countered.

Eren’s grip on Levi’s shoulder twitched, but his face remained impassive. The three band members watched the exchange with wide eyes and confusion.  Erwin was staring at Nile, Hanji was flicking between the two, and Levi was looking at Eren.

The tension was suffocating, a storm hung between Eren and Nile. The two men continued to stare at each other, having a silent conversation that screamed into the air. Jean crossed over to their side of the bar, “Everything okay over here?”

“Yeah, fine thanks Jean. Actually, can I get some Jack Daniels, a double would be great.” Eren asked, not taking his eyes off of Nile. Jean nodded and left to get Eren’s drink, he met Reiner’s gaze and shook his head slowly. This was scary. He had only ever seen Eren like this once, and it was a time he wanted to forget. He didn’t know the details of Eren’s life, not now and not in the past, but he wasn’t blind. He could tell that Eren was hiding something, but Jean could never get him to talk about it. Eren rarely drank and yet here he was ordering a double JD. First he had asked both Jean and Reiner for a favour, then he frowned during his performance, his eyes had flickered restlessly, the whole thing made Jean uneasy. Eren’s performances were flawless, he had his seductive act down to a tee, and yet someone had broken through that performance. Jean plopped down the glass and looked Eren over, but the brunet wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

Eren grimaced after downing the alcohol, the familiar burn sliding down his throat. “So Nile, how do you know Erwin?” he asked.

“As I just told these two, Erwin and I knew each other in college.”

“Oh? What did you study?”

“Criminology”

“And now you’re in… recruitment.”  Eren snorted, muttering to himself “how ironic.”

Levi frowned and whispered, “Eren what’s going on?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing you need to worry about.”

“Come on Eren let’s go.”

“Alright, just let me grab another drink.” Eren said, raising his hand to get Jean’s attention. Once the drink was placed in front of him he drank it all at once. “Okay then, let’s go. It was nice meeting you Nile.”

“You too Eren, I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

Eren snorted and made his way to the door, Levi not far behind him. Once they were both out of the club Eren picked up the pace and automatically started walking towards his apartment. He brought his thumb up to his mouth and slotted the knuckle between his teeth. “So Nile really is here for me, which means Kenny was serious about getting me back.”

Levi jogged to keep up, “Hey…hey Eren.”

Eren kept walking, and mumbling around his knuckle. His teeth dug into the flesh, not quite hard enough to draw blood.

“Eren, hey! Come on, slow down. Eren, talk to me.”

“How’s he going to get me to come back? What’s his game? How far is he willing to go? Well considering he’s working for Kenny, I’d assume it’s pretty far. As long as he doesn’t bring the underground into this I should be able to keep this pretty isolated. But if he does then…” Eren stopped walking and slowly turned to look at Levi.

“What’s going on Eren? For fuck’s sake talk to me.” Levi shouted.

Eren blinked blankly, “I already told you, it’s nothing you need to worry about…” Eren’s voice was cold and monotonous, he turned and continued walking.

“Like hell it’s nothing. Eren tell me what’s going on!”

“Leave it Levi. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Nothing to do with me? I’ve spilt my guts to you and now you’re not going to tell me what’s going on?”

“That’s not fair Levi, this is different.”

“How is it different? Because it’s you and not me? Because you think you’re stronger than I am and you can handle it all alone?”

“Yes!”

Levi straightened up wide eyed. He stared at Eren in shock, he watched as realisation dawned on the brunet’s face and the panic rise in his eyes. “Wait, wait, no Levi… I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, look my head’s not exactly in the best place right now.”

Levi’s face morphed into a blank slate, “It’s fine, I know what you meant.” He stared at Eren for a moment longer before spinning on his heel and walking away.

“Levi, wait. Come on, you know I didn’t mean that. Levi!”

“Fuck off Eren. Go get your head straight” Levi carried on walking but didn’t look back, he couldn’t hear any footsteps so he assumed that Eren wasn’t following him. The brat probably looked like a kicked puppy.

Eren watched as Levi walked away, he stood there under the street lamp staring after him as he turned the corner and out of sight. “FUCK!” Eren shouted into the air, unleashing his anger on the wall. Pain rippled through his knuckles. He blew out a breath a texted Hanji: _I fucked up, check Levi’s alright tonight._

Eren stuffed his phone back into his pocket and began walking towards his apartment again. As he walked up to that rickety old door he stopped midway. _What about Mikasa?_ Ice shot through his veins as he span and took off towards the hospital. Eren’s mind was clouded in panic, but clarity and reason continued to fight into the foreground.  Even Kenny had standards, surely he wouldn’t bring her into this. But then again he’s desperate enough to reach out to Eren in the first place.

 

Ignoring Armin, Eren sprinted through the hallways, he took the stairs two at a time and burst through the door. Mikasa wasn’t there. Eren stared numbly at the empty bed. The cold mask melted away as he looked around frantically. His breath came out in panicked puffs, his eyes searched restlessly for a doctor or nurse that could explain what was going on. But he found none. No one was around. _Where were they, why was no one around?_ Eren span on the spot and raced back down the hall, hoping to bump into someone, anyone. His silent plea was heard as he bumped into a tall man dressed in blue scrubs. “Steady there sir, what are you doing here? It’s very late you shouldn’t be wandering around.”

“My sister isn’t in her room. Do you know where she is? Do you know where Mikasa Ackerman is?”

“You’re Eren Jaeger. We’ve been trying to get a hold of you, your sister has been rushed into theatre.”

“What, why?” Eren demanded.

“There was a complication with her treatment this afternoon. She steadily declined through the afternoon and crashed early this evening. I’m afraid it is not yet clear whether this operation will be a success, in the end it may only buy her time. I’m not going to promise anything.”

“What was the complication?” Eren asked quietly.

“I’m afraid we are not yet able to pinpoint the issue, however rest assured we are looking into it.”

“Thank you, please save her.” Eren’s hands were shaking, he slowly pulled his phone out of his back pocket. His thumb hovered over the keypad. Without a second thought he slammed the pad and pulled it up to his ear.

A rough voice greeted him “Hello there Mr Jaeger, I was expecting a call.”

“What did you do?”

“Forgive me Eren, I’m afraid I don’t follow you. What are you insinuating?”

Eren ground his teeth together, “You know exactly what I’m talking about Kenny. What. Did. You. Do?”

“Now Eren, there is no need to be so aggressive. But if you so happen to be referring to the hospital’s slip up this afternoon, then I must say that I’m offended by how little you think of me. However I can’t deny that I’m a little thankful because now I have something to bargain with.”

“Like hell you do. Tell Nile to fuck off and stay the hell away from me and the people I care about.”

“Come on Eren be realistic. Mikasa is obviously getting worse, how much is keeping her in private health care going to cost you? I’ve seen you accounts Eren, you’re only just keeping your head above water. Coming back to The Walls will give you more money that you’ll know what to do with. Don’t you miss it even a little bit?”

 _Yes_ “No. I left that shit hole behind and I have no intention of going back.”

“I see. Well it looks like Nile will be sticking around for a while longer then. I’ll talk to you soon Eren… and I hope Mikasa is okay.”

Eren stood there for a moment longer, listening to the even beep that sounded incessantly through the speaker. “You don’t get to do that you asshole. You don’t get to act like you care.”

Eren released a breath of air and sat down in the hallway. He pressed his back against the wall and ran a hand through his hair. Guilt washed over him, after his run in with Nile Eren had been worried about how Levi would be dragged into all of this. Mikasa hadn’t even crossed his mind.

Eren pulled his knees up and crushed them against his chest. He felt fifteen again. Waiting for news and staring at the cold white walls that served as his only company. There were very few people wandering the halls, and those that did paid Eren very little attention. They all had things to attend to, tests to run, and patients to see. All while Eren remained sat on the floor waiting for the minutes to tick by painfully, one by one. He rested his chin atop of his knees and stared at the clean tiles, looking up hopefully whenever he heard a pair of footsteps. However just like six years ago none of them stopped for him. He struggled to remember how he coped, how he didn’t pounce on every person he saw and question them about what was going on.

Somewhere in his heart he knew that bothering the doctors wouldn’t help, he would simply be making a nuisance of himself. So with the little will power he had he forced himself to continue sitting patiently on the floor. He felt his eyes start to sting, he slowly blinked and the stinging vanished. He could feel his eyebrows furrowing together and hear his mother reprimanding him for it. _Beautiful boys like you shouldn’t frown. They should smile brightly, like the sun has come indoors to say hello._ She would smile sweetly and coax little Eren to do the same. _There he is, my little ray of sunshine._

Eren tightened his grip on his knees, “Sorry mum, it seems the sun has burnt out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so two weeks turned into a month and I can't apologise enough. But after the month long break I am back and out of the 'funk' that has been plaguing more for a while. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for sticking with me! I'll see you next update!


	23. Downpour

“But he apologised didn’t he?” Hanji asked, sat on Levi’s plush sofa.

“Yes, straight away.”

“And he didn’t mean what he said?”

“There’s no way he did.”

“Then why are you so mad?”

“Because that’s not the part I’m mad about! Well it was at first, but now it’s not.”

“So what are you mad about?”

“That fucking brat didn’t tell me what was wrong! He didn’t even consider telling me. He just brushed me off like I meant nothing, like it was no big deal. He suddenly put up a wall and I don’t know how to get through it.” Levi scrubbed his forehead as though he was trying to force the frown away. “We’ve only just started going out for fuck’s sake, we can’t break up already.”

“Woah there shorty. No one is going to break up, not if I have anything to do with it. You’re the happiest I’ve seen you when Eren is around and I am not going to let that disappear.”

“That’s all well and good but what do I do? The only text he sent was the one to you, and he hasn’t tried to call me once.”

“You’re right, that doesn’t sound like Eren. I’d expect him to be phoning nonstop until he knew that you had forgiven him. This silence is strange.”

“All that does is lead us back to square one. What the fuck do I do Hanji?”

“Ring him and then go find him. I’ll come with you, two pairs of eyes will be better than one.” Hanji was already on her feet and beginning to put her shoes on when she saw that Levi hadn’t moved. “What’s wrong?”

“What if he never tells me? Is he going to know everything about me and I’ll still be in the dark?”

Hanji frowned “That’s something you need to talk about with him. But before that you need to find him.”

“Tch, stupid brat.” Levi mumbled, his voice laced with worry despite the harsh words. Together he and Hanji pulled on their shoes and left to find Eren. They started at The Garrison in the hope that he had doubled back, and then they went to his apartment only to be told that “That skank” hadn’t come back yet. The two took turns in ringing him but they only ever got through to voicemail. As they continued their search Levi got more and more panicked.

“For fuck’s sake where is he Hanji!?”

“Levi you need to calm down, he is a grown man he’s probably fine. I get that you’re worried, I am too but we can’t stay out all night.”

“He didn’t give up until he found me, so I’m not giving up until I’ve found him.”

“Levi the circumstances are completely different! Look, we’ll ring him one more time but then we should call it a night.”

“You can do whatever you want shit glasses, I’m going to keep looking.”

Hanji groaned and looked at Levi with pity filled eyes. For the final time that night she pulled out her phone and dialled Eren’s number. And for the final time that night she was greeted with the automated woman asking her to leave a message after the tone. “Eren call me back, Levi’s going nuts. Don’t make him stay out all night. Please just call one of us.”

“Voicemail?” Levi’s defeated voice asked.

Hanji nodded without a word as she turned to walk to back home, her heart aching for the man still searching.

 

Eren’s phone vibrated against his leg, but he didn’t move to answer it. He simply continued to stare at the white wall in front of him while his back rested against one that was identical. A set of footsteps came thundering down the hallway but Eren had long since given up lifting his head. How long had it been now? Time seemed to be moving so slowly it wouldn’t be surprising if he had been siting there for a number of days. It was as though every minute was an hour, every hour a day. Eren ignored his growling stomach and paid no attention to the desert growing in his throat. He simply continued waiting, sat motionless on the cold tiles, no longer flinching at every noise.

“Mr Jaeger?”

Eren’s head shot upward at the mention of his name. He rushed to his feet, wrestling with his numb body to stand. “Yes?”

“Your sister is out of theatre. However I’m afraid that it isn’t looking good, she is stable for now but I highly doubt it will remain that way for long. I can only offer my sincerest condolences Mr Jaeger.”

“I-is… Can I see her?”

“Of course Mr Jaeger, she’s still under the effects of the anaesthetic but she will wake up at some point within the next two hours.”

“Just call me Eren. And thank you Doctor, could you take me to see her now?”

“Of course Eren, this way.”

Eren staggered behind the striding doctor in a numb stupor. He followed behind with meek footsteps that hardly made a sound. He had shrunk to half his size, his shoulders were no longer proud, they sagged under the weight that was hanging over him. His arms curled into themselves, hugging his chest as though they were trying to stop him from breaking. The doctor stopped in front of a set of doors, “She’s in the room through here, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to go into the room until she wakes.”

Eren nodded mutely as he pushed through the double doors that lead to the thin glass which separated him from his sister. He placed his hand against the cold wall as he stared at Misaka’s body lying in the sterile white bed. She looked so small. Never in his life had his ever considered his sister to be fragile, but looking at her now he couldn’t help but see a china doll. Her usually pale skin was sickly grey, her glossy hair had lost its shine, and for the first time in her life she looked frail.

Eren’s fingers slid down the glass until they curled into his palm. He pressed his forehead against the glass, letting tears escape and scrape down his cheeks. His knees buckled under him and he came crashing to the floor, his hand still on the glass. She was miles away from him, separated by a thin piece of glass that stretched on for what seemed like an eternity.

His pocket vibrated again. Sighing to himself he dragged his phone up to his ear, mashing the answer button. He remained silent as an insistent, borderline frantic voice drilled through the speakers. “Hello! Eren, are you there? Are you okay? Hello? Eren where are you?”

Placing a hand over the microphone and pulling the phone away from his ear Eren cleared this throat. Once he was sure his voice would hold he dragged the phone back up to his ear. “Hey Levi. Look I’m sorry about wh-”

“That doesn’t matter. Where are you, and are you okay?”

“Ah yeah, I’m fine. How are you doing?”

Levi let out an exasperated sigh, “I’m would be fine if I knew where you were!”

“Levi, you’re not my babysitter. You don’t have to know where I am. Look, it’s late so go and get some sleep. For crying out loud you need it, if you want I can come round yours when I’m done here but it will probably be late.”

“For fuck’s sake Eren will you stop acting like such a brat? Just tell me where you are, I’ll come pick you up and then we can head back to mine together.”

“Levi, I need to stay here.” Eren’s voice cracked, he coughed and carried on, “I just have something to… deal with. I’ll meet you at your apartment when I’m done, go and get some sleep, I’ll try not to wake you when I come in.”

“Eren what’s wrong?”

“I told you I’m fine. I’ll see you later.” He hung up before Levi could answer, tears began to well in his eyes once again. He desperately scrubbed at his eyes until they were red and sore.

A small groan escaped the clutches of the glass prison and Eren looked up. Mikasa’s eyes moved restlessly as she fought off the lingering drugs. He climbed to his feet and the trace of a smile stretched across his lips. He called for the doctor and he followed after his white lab coat into Mikasa’s room. “Morning sleepyhead.”

“M…nin”

Eren sat down by her side as the doctor went about his checks making notes as he went. Mikasa’s hand sought out the warmth of his and he gladly provided it. His thumb rubbed gently across the back of her hand. His eyes drifted over to the doctor as the man began to leave. He caught Eren’s eye but looked away guiltily. The brunet sucked in a shaky breath and but soon returned his gaze to his sister. She weakly squeezed his hand, “looks like I’m going to see mum soon. Anything you want me to tell her?”

Eren’s words got stuck in his throat “N-nothing I can think of right now.”

Mikasa laughed, wincing “I guess you were never good with words. I’ll make something up for you.”

“Bailing me out of trouble right up till then end.”

“Well, I guess old habits die hard.” She rasped, her voice slowly quietening to a whisper. “Listen Eren, this Levi you mentioned, he better be worth you. ‘Cause I swear if he hurts you I’m going to haunt that midget.”

“I think I’m more likely to hurt him… actually I’m pretty sure I already have.”

“Well you better fix it. I haven’t seen you happier than when you’re talking about him. I would have loved to meet him…” she said her blinking becoming laboured and her breathing shallow.

“I’m sure you two would have gotten along… actually you may have hated each other. It’s hard to say.”

Mikasa chuckled lightly as her eyelids dropped and her cheeks drained of colour. Eren stood and sat on the edge of her bed, placing a kiss on her forehead he caressed her cheek lightly. “Goodbye Mikasa, you were a better sister than I deserved.”

She let out a soft sigh and pushed her cheek into his hand. Somewhere an obnoxious machine started a constant droning beep.

“Goodnight Mika, sleep tight.”

Eren’s heart broke in two as he walked out the door, doctors and nurses shoved their way passed and into the room. They fussed over her body, forcing it to breathe even though it didn’t want to. They made it jolt even though all it wanted to do was lie there in peace.

Eren made his way out of the hospital, his hand still warm from Mikasa’s cheek. He walked numbly to the bridge his mum would take them to when they were young. He quietly walked through the woods until he found the little clearing that he and Mikasa had discovered on one of their adventures. He dropped to his knees, his hands fisting in his hair, and he screamed. Tears of anger and despair crashed to the ground, flooding the floor with his sorrow. Haggard cries flew into the air, free of restraint, like a beast bursting out of a cage. He sucked in gulps of air as his lungs fought with the gross sobbing that shook him to the core. He clamped a hand over his mouth as he felt another scream rising to the surface. The other hand ripped out of his hair and clawed at his chest, clutching and gripping at the fabric of his t-shirt.

Taking a shaking breath he closed his eyes slowly and his hands fell limply into his lap. He tilted his face towards the night sky. He sat there quietly as silent tears dripped down his cheeks.

 

The front door opened slowly and Levi stirred from his fretful slumber. As he was about to climb out of the comfort of his bed, the mattress dipped. “Eren?”

“Yeah.”

Levi reached out blindly for the other man. His fingers soon found what he was looking for and he pulled Eren back onto the bed. He shivered at the cool temperature of Eren’s skin, “You’re freezing. Where have you been?”

“Am I? Sorry. Nowhere.”

Eren’s voice was flat and scratchy. Levi frowned, “…it’s fine…”

“You want me to go sleep on the sofa?” Eren asked softly.

“No, you’re fine here. Just hurry up.”

“Okay.”

Eren stood and began peeling off his clothes until his was only left in his boxers. He clambered into bed with Levi and stared at the wall. A tense silence descended over the pair as Eren continued to lay motionless, stiff as a board.

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

The answer that followed tore Levi’s heart.

“I’m fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.... but I hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> Thank you for reading and I'll see you next update!!  
> ^.^


	24. Thunder

Eren blinked awake and found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. While he was still wrapped in the covers of sleep his mind was quiet, however reality soon crashed down onto him and pulled his shoulders downwards. Soft snores drifted into the silence. He turned his head and saw Levi sleeping soundly, his black hair splayed across the white pillows, and his eyebrows tugged together in a frown. He wasn’t flailing or making sounds of discomfort so Eren assumed that he wasn’t being plagued by nightmares. His lifted a hand and gently poked at the wrinkles until they relaxed into a neutral expression. The smallest of smiles crept onto his face as he watched Levi’s soft expression; now that the frown had been chased away he suddenly looked years younger.

Eren’s hand dropped back to his side and the smile fell off of his face. A puff of air escaped his lips as he climbed out of bed.  For a moment he simply stood staring at the ground as he let grief wash over him. Instead of letting tears leak out of his eyes he pulled his brows into a frown and forced himself to continue breathing evenly. His hands balled by his sides and he found himself wanting to lash out, to unleash his pain onto something else, onto someone else. Without him realising his knuckle had slotted itself between his teeth and he had bitten it hard enough to draw blood. Wrenching the knuckle out from his teeth he stared at it for a moment. Sighing to himself he walked into the kitchen and ran it under the tap, “old habits die hard” he mumbled a tear slipping down his cheek. He braced himself against the counter, his head hung low. Salty droplets dripped into the sink one by one, just like the rain that streaked against the windows with a soft pitter-patter.

A floor board creaked somewhere behind him and he hear a gruff voice call his name. He blew out a breath and rubbed the evidence off of face. “In the kitchen, you want a coffee?”

“No thanks, but a tea would be great.”

“One tea coming right up.”

Levi wandered into the kitchen to find Eren digging through the cupboards in search of mugs while the kettle rumbled noisily. Hesitantly he made his way over to Eren and wrapped his arms around his middle, resting his forehead in between the taller man’s shoulder blades. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m fine. You?”

“A little tired because someone didn’t come back till late, but otherwise I’m okay.”

“Sorry…” Eren muttered as he reached over to pour the boiling water in each cup, he stopped halfway through the second, frowning “Do you have milk in your tea?”

“Yeah, no sugar.” Levi replied, rubbing her forehead against Eren’s back lazily.

“I thought so.” Eren mumbled as he returned to making their teas, leaving a gap in the top of the second one. Once he was finished he untangled himself from Levi’s limbs and wrapped his hand around the mug, handing it to Levi. As Eren handed him the mug Levi’s fingers brushed against its main body and he flinched in pain as they met with the blistering heat. Levi scowled at his hand and ensured that the mug wouldn’t come into contact with it again. When he looked up at Eren he saw that his tanned hands wrapped around the body of the mug, hugging the burning ceramic. The brunet was leant against the counter top gripping the warmth with white knuckles. A tense silence washed over them and neither one knew how to break it. So many questions bubbled to the surface that Levi was desperately fighting away. If Eren wanted to tell him he would, wouldn’t he? He felt a finger touch in between his eyebrows.

“If you keep frowning you’ll get wrinkles” Eren stated numbly.

Levi glared at him half-heartedly, wiping the scowl away, “I was just thinking.”

“That’s dangerous. What about?”

“Us…”

A lump began to grow in Eren’s throat as he fought desperately to swallow, “I see. Nothing bad I hope.”

Levi stared at him blankly before his eyebrows drew together, “Well it’s not exactly roses and rainbows. You shouted at me and then fucking disappeared. I wouldn’t call that a good relationship.”  Levi’s voice grew louder and louder but his tone remained just as flat. He snorted, "We’ve only been going out for one fucking day.”

Eren hummed, placing his coffee on the counter top and crossing his arms over his chest, physically shutting himself off. “I’ve already said I’m sorry for shouting at you, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I know that. That isn’t the part I’m angry about.”

Eren frowned, “Then what is?”

“Tch. Brat, I’m pissed that you’re trying to deal with everything by yourself. Something is obviously wrong and yet you’re just shutting me out.”

“It’s a habit, I’m sorry I can’t break out of it just like that.”

“A habit? Why is that even a habit in the first place? You just need to talk to me.”

Eren snorted, “Well it seems this conversation has come full circle. Who would have thought I’d be on the receiving end.” His hands balled into fists, they itched to meet flesh as he grew more agitated. His abdomen quivers in anticipation of rolling with punches, of feeling the bruises flourish under his skin. Suddenly the phone in his back pocket became a heavy block, reminding him of its existence.

“Fuck, Eren I hate this. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“You have enough shit to deal with, you don’t need mine as well. Honestly Levi you should just drop it. It’s not something you need to worry about.”

“Not something I need to worry about? You’re kidding me right? You’re my boyfriend Eren, whatever is going on with you it is my responsibility to help you with.”

“It’s a responsibility now is it?”

“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“You’re right I do know. I know that for whatever reason you want me to dump everything onto you, well I’m sorry but that just isn’t who I am. I slap a smile on my face and show the world that everything is fine. Because that is what I want everyone to think, that’s what I _need_ everyone to think. Just like you frown and swear and are blunt about everything to keep people away from you, I smile and laugh and fake my way through.”

“Then what’s the real you, Eren? Do I even know him?”

The anger that had been building within Levi dissipated with what Eren said next, “I forgot. I don’t know who I am anymore, I thought I did.” He laughed, “Who am I kidding? I never knew, I’ve never been just me. I’ve been Mr Jaeger, I’ve been Titan, I’ve been the suicidal bastard, I’ve been the worthless skank, but I’ve never been me. I don’t even know if I exist in here anymore.” He dragged a finger up to his temple and tapped it sadly.

Levi’s mouth opened and closed but no sounds came out. He was left to just stare at Eren in shock. So many walls surrounding the brunet had just crashed to the floor and he hadn’t been ready for it. He had just received tiny pieces of information about Eren that changed everything. Eren picked up his coffee and quickly finished it before leaving the kitchen to get dressed for the day, leaving Levi to his thoughts.

Eren stared at himself in the mirror. He watched as emerald green eyes stared back at him, eyes that he no longer recognised. He blew out a breath and closed his eyes, collecting his emotions, locking them away. Levi really doesn’t need his issues on top of what he’s going through. He still needs to find the courage to face up to what happened to him.

Why couldn’t it have been Mike that died? Why did it have to be Mikasa? Someone like Mike was still walking around happy and healthy and yet Mikasa who never hurt anyone had died. It wasn’t fair. Anger built upon pain as Eren’s grief crashed over him. His eyes snapped open and the mirror shattered. His knuckles stung as the glass dug into this flesh. Sinking to his knees he stared at his broken reflection and laughed at how it finally showed what he was expecting. Jagged black lines tore through the middle of his face. He was distorted and fragmented, the shattered mirror paralleled with his heart. This is what he was. Broken.

 

A crash sounded through the apartment, Levi’s head snapped towards the bedroom. Cautiously he peered around the door. Eren was kneeling on the floor staring into the glass, his hand was silently bleeding in his lap. As Levi walked into the room there was no sign of recognition, Eren simply continued to stare at himself. “Eren… are you okay?”

Eren snorted quietly and turned his head to face Levi, “Would you stop asking me that?”

Levi frowned, “Why?”

“Because I’m tired of lying to you.” He said turning back to the mirror.

Levi let out a choked sound as he stared at Eren. How had the man been hurting this much without letting anyone on? And how had he not noticed that the strong and joyful man was nothing but an illusion? Now that illusion was gone, and in his place sat a man just as broken as he was. Yet that broken man had still pieced him back together. He walked over to Eren and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Eren stiffened at the sudden contact, but otherwise didn’t move, didn’t speak. His eyes remained trained on the remains of the mirror, on the remains of his mask. A choked laugh broke free of his lips as the arms around his shoulders grew warm and comforting. He dragged his eyes away from the mirror and into his lap. The arms squeezed and held him close. It was a sensation that he wasn’t all that familiar with. Once upon a time his mother would hold him like this, and then after her his sister. But that was such a long time ago, he had forgotten. In his ear a voice whispered, “You’re allowed to cry you know.”

A fat tear slipped down his cheek, “Why did you have to say that?”

Eren’s shoulders shake as he drowns in his sorrow. Tears shriek down his face and he greedily sucks in air, but he never makes a sound. Eren silently cries, tears land on his cut knuckles and the salt bites into the flesh. Levi pulls him backwards until they are leaning against the bed, Eren still tucked away in his arms. Eren’s haggard breathing is the only sound that fills the room, his eyes are open and staring at the blood trickling from his knuckles. Never once did Levi pull away from him, nor did he speak or ask questions. He simply sat there, with his arms wrapped around the trembling man and waited.

 

Gradually Eren’s tears came to an end and the two sat in silence for a moment, then Eren shifted and slowly stood up. He shook off the warmth of Levi’s embrace and rand a hand through his hair. Out of the corner of his eye Eren glanced at Levi. He was still sitting on the floor, watching him. It looked as though he had something to say however he could find the right words. Eren was grateful for that, perhaps it meant he was going to be able to get out of the apartment without having to answer any questions. Of course that hope was soon shattered as soon as Levi opened his mouth, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” he asked quietly meeting the emerald green eyes.

Eren flinched, “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“I see.” Levi let out a frustrated breath and got to his feet, “Well brat my arse is numb and I’m starving. You want some food?”

Eren nods “Sure.”

“Alright then, let’s go cook. What do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

Levi sighs, “Not helpful, brat.” Ignoring Eren’s blank star he walks into the kitchen and starts looking through cupboards, pulling out ingredients.

Eren scrubbed his hands down his face and followed Levi. He walks straight over to the sink and rinses the blood off of his knuckles. Bringing his hand up to his face Eren looks carefully at the cut, making sure that there isn’t any glass stuck in it. “You want me to look at it?”

Eren glanced at Levi, “No thanks, it’s fine.”

“Okay. Pancakes will be done in a sec.”                                                                              

 

When the pancakes were finished the two sat at the table and ate in silence. Eren avoided eye contact and Levi was growing increasingly irritated. He wanted to know what was going on with him, he wanted to help. But he couldn’t find the words he needed so he simply became frustrated. “Eren what’s going on? Please tell me.”

“Levi I thought we were done talking about this.”

“We didn’t even _start_ talking about it.”

“I was kind of hoping it would stay that way.”

“You keep banging on about me needing to talk to Hanji and Erwin and yet you won’t take your own god damn advice and talk to me.”

“We have been over this. It is not something you need to worry about.”

“Yeah and then you broke my mirror and started crying. So tell me what the fuck is going on.” Both of the men’s voices rose in volume as they replayed the same conversation. Suddenly Eren rose to his feet and left the table. “I have somewhere I need to be.” Eren said as he made his way to the door.

“Eren you can’t just walk away in the middle of a conversation just because you don’t want to talk about the topic. We need to talk about this, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

Eren froze at the door, his anger boiling through his veins so hot that it hurt. “Quite frankly Levi I don’t _have_ to do anything. And considering that you won’t charge a sick bastard like Mike for what he did to you, I don’t think you have any grounds for telling me what I _need_ to do.” His green eyes flashed as he threw the door closed as he exited the apartment.

Levi was left shell shocked and staring after him. Slowly he walked into the lounge and collapsed onto the sofa, staring at the ceiling. His throat grew tight and a rock sat in his stomach, but the tears didn’t come. They didn’t come because despite the ruthless words he knew that Eren was right. They were both hypocrites.

 

As soon as he was out the door Eren’s hand was in his pocket and his phone was to his ear. “I changed my mind. I need it. Put me in tonight.”

“It’s good to have you back, Suicidal Bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren is going back to the ring dun dun duuuuuun. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! To be honest I can't believe I have gotten this far, especially considering the massive writers block I went through a couple of chapters back. Not many chapters left now, although I didn't cover as much as I wanted to this chapter so it just got a chapter longer, woo 31 chapter story!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you next update! ^.^


	25. Lightening

When Eren arrives at the _Walls_ he was greeted by a tall, lanky man that he hadn’t seen in two years. Yet somehow he hadn’t changed. His hair was still the same greying, dark and greasy mop, his scraggly failure of a beard was still the same, patchy and unkempt, and the same eyes peered from under the brim of his hat. The eyes that resembled gunmetal, cold and lethal.

“Eren m’boy, it’s good to see you!” Kenny cried, as Eren entered his line of sight.

Eren snorted, “Wish I could say the same. Who’s my match against?”

“Oo, so cold to your dear old friend. And you’ll be glad to know that despite the short notice, I have managed to rig up a grudge match against your dear old pal _Rogue_.” Eren’s muscles tensed at the name, and a dark glint flashed in Kenny’s eyes, a wicked smile stretching across his lips. “Good, I’m glad to see you haven’t forgotten him.”

“It would be hard to, after all I’ve been carrying his mark with me ever since. But of course you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, how was I supposed to know that he had a knife hidden away somewhere? It’s not my fault I missed it in the weapons check,” Kenny smirked.

“Course it wasn’t.”

“Anyway, let’s get you ready. The set-up has changed a little, we’ve grown quite considerably. To be honest it’s a shame that the quality of fighters has gone down, such a waste of a stage.”

Eren hummed and followed behind as Kenny wandered off. The glaring lights around the main ring illuminated every little movement. There was nowhere to hide, the white lights exposed everything. Old scars, fresh wounds, developing bruises. Everything is spread out for all to see. A smile creeps onto Eren’s face, a sick and damaged part of Eren had missed this. The anticipation of stepping onto the stage, the leering gleams in the eyes of the spectators, the stench of sweat and greed stains the air. The atmosphere hadn’t changed in the two years he had been away. It was just as sickening and sadistic as it had always been. But right now that is exactly what he needed.

He needed pain, he needed to beat and be beaten. To drive his fists into flesh, to hurt others as he was hurting. He was looking forward to this, he had gotten out in order to take care of Mikasa. But now he didn’t have her anymore. And that pain is what has brought him here, it is what is going to drive him once he takes a step into the ring. Already he knows that he is going to lose it. He would feel sorry for his opponent if it was any other person. But it wasn’t just any opponent. He was up against Rogue.

“Right then, Suicidal Bastard it’s time for you to make your come back,” Kenny sneers “So go get your arse on stage.”

Eren snorts but otherwise doesn’t reply, stretching his arms and rolling his shoulders as he clambered the steps. The booming voice rang out announcing his title as well as his Rogue. The height and weight differences were enough to laugh at, Eren was tiny by comparison. The crowd roared at his return, which caught him off guard. He thought anyone who had known him two years ago would have been long gone. Whether they had just moved on from illegal cage fights or had just died from whatever business they were mixed up in, he didn’t care, but either way he hadn’t expected a reception like this. Rogue leered at him from across the stage, it looked like insults were itching to the surface of his lips but he restrained himself for now. They would probably come tumbling out once the fight began.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet Eren waited impatiently for the horn to sound, he channelled all of his pain into his muscles. Rogue looked confident, too confident. Well considering the last time the two rivals had faced each other the giant had beaten Eren within an inch of his life, and given him a hefty scar just above his hip, his confidence was hardly surprising. But there was no knife this time. It was an even playing field. It was time to show him what he could do.

The buzzer sounded.

Like an enraged bull Rogue charged at Eren, who simply snorted and stepped to the side. From what he remembered Rogue had always been a quick starter. ‘Shooting stars’ is what they were referred to in _Walls._ Bright, fierce, and powerful, but they burn out quickly. All Eren had to do was wait for him to wither, and run out of stamina. Eren didn’t feel like waiting though. Rogue was just intimidating, without his dirty tricks he was nothing much. His handler always matched him up with either newbies that were still wet behind the ears, or people who had lost their value. Those were practically execution matches, Eren had been in one of those matches, and Rogue had been his intended executioner.

A cruel smirk stretched across Eren’s face, it was payback time. He waited for Rogue to charge again, But Eren didn’t move out of the way. He stood his ground and waited until Rogue’s arms wrapped around his waist, then Eren brought his elbow down hard on his neck. Almost instantly Rogue’s arms dropped to the floor to catch his body. Eren dropped into a crouch, grabbing a fistful of hair “Not so big without a knife to rely on, are you?”

A bulky arm shot out from the floor and wrapped around Eren’s throat, “Don’t get cocky, you bastard.” Rogue growled as he stood, dragging Eren with him “Wouldn’t it be a shame if you died in your first match after two years?”

Eren smiled, granted it was a strange thing to do when an ape had his hand round his throat, but obviously that didn’t stop him. The crowd were screeching, many demanding for more violence. Eren could hardly paid them any attention, he simply focused on what he was going to do next. He ignored the lack of oxygen and the burning in his neck, and simply looked at rogue in the eye. For now there was no sign or panic or fear in them, well then, Eren was going to have to change that. Eren lifted his feet, placing one at the back of Rogue’s shoulder and the other at the front. With one heel he pulled and with the other he pushed until there was a popping sound, and Rogue’s shoulder blade shifted. He cried out in pain and released his hold on Eren’s neck. The young man didn’t even flinch when he hit the floor, he simply stood up and stared down at Rogue. “Oops my bad, want me to put that back in for you?” Eren asked, placing a hand on the arm bone that was grotesquely poking out of his skin and the other on the socket. Rogue stared wide eyed, after all why would his opponent fix something that he had just broken? Eren smirked and snapped the bone back into the joint. Rogue’s howl of pain erupted into the air, the crowd jeered and screamed for more. “You… f-fucker!”

Eren merely smiled at the remark as he patiently waited for Rogue to stand up again. Eventually he did manage to stagger to his feet, clutching his shoulder. Eren tilted his head in a silent taunt, a taunt that succeeded in its aim. Rogue came at him again, throwing clumsy punches with both arms. Eren gave him some credit for that, dislocated shoulders hurt like a bitch.

The laboured movements were easy enough to dodge with simple bob and weaves, this fight was boring. Eren was tired of it, it wasn’t giving him the satisfaction he wanted. He needed a harder opponent, someone who could beat him into the ground if his guard dropped. His guard hadn’t even been put up for this fight. Sighing to himself Eren decided to end it. With a swipe of his leg Rogue was brought to his knees, with another his head snapped backwards and his body hit the floor. He didn’t get up again. The verdict was given, Eren announced the winner and presented with this prize money. It was a small fight, so the reward was small. You get set up against someone of the same level the pay is a lot better, but if you go for someone that is considered far stronger than you are you can earn some serious money. Only if you won of course. That little catch is the reason why only a few, desperate people ever went for it. When Eren was short on cash he was one of those people, he was consistently one of those people, and how else would he have earnt his name? Well running straight towards someone holding a knife would have been one way… and he had done that too. There was no question that Eren had earnt his title _The Suicidal Bastard_.

“Great job kiddo. It’s like you never left!” Kenny greeted cheerfully.

“I want to go again, and make it harder,” Eren demanded.

Kenny’s eyes widened slightly, “Now listen here kid, you just got out the ring! Give yourself some time to adjust to being back. Besides there’s no more room tonight, unless you want to go against Goliath.”

“Set it up.”

“Listen to me you fuck. I said no, I’m not letting my investment get beaten to death on his first night back.”

Eren stared at Kenny, “Set. It Up.”

There was something in Eren’s eyes that made Kenny hesitate in reprimanding him for a third time. It was wild and hungry. It wanted blood to be spilt, whether it was his own or someone else’s it wasn’t clear. But the lust for pain was plain as day. Taking a shuddering breath Kenny nodded, muttering to himself as he walked away “When did this kid become a monster?”

 

***

 

Levi had been consistently screwing up throughout their practise session. Erwin shared a look with Hanji saying that it was time for them to squeeze blood out of the stone and find out what was wrong. Sighing Erwin stops playing, “Levi.”

“What?” he grunted.

Erwin resisted rolling his eyes, “What’s going on with you, you’ve been off all practise.”

“Nothing.”

“Now now my little munchkin, you should know by now that we won’t believe that, nor will we stop until you tell us the truth. So, let’s have it, what’s going on?” Hanji chimed.

“Both of you shitheads are irritating as fuck.”

“Yeah we know. Spill it.” Erwin said as he leaned against the wall, arms folded.

Levi shifted where he stood, glaring at the both of them, folding and then unfolding his arms, he transferred his weight from one foot to the other. He was fidgeting. Levi didn’t fidget. Hanji and Erwin glanced at one another but didn’t say anything. Eventually Levi began to explain to them that he didn’t know whether he was strong enough to face charging Mike, he told them what happened with Eren, and vented his frustrations that he didn’t know what to do or how to help the brunet. All the while both Erwin and Hanji remained silent, their frowns deepening every so often. When Levi had finished Hanji looked like she was going to cry, Erwin looked like he was doing his best to remain impassive but the angry twitch of his eye gave him away.

“Alright, we’ll take this one thing at a time. With the first thing, you don’t need us to tell you what you already know. Mike is a sick fuck and he needs to be locked up, but we can’t force you into doing it. However, the longer you leave it the harder it will be for him to be charged, you need to remember that.”

Levi nodded mutely but otherwise didn’t respond.

“As for Eren… well that seems to be extremely complicated. I thought you were the most stubborn person I had ever met, but somehow from what I hear, he has you beat. I wonder if it’s worth a group of us talking to him, maybe if we get some of his older friends together and all confront him together.”

“I don’t know, I doubt he’s ever told them anything. They probably don’t know anything about his life, heck I don’t even know much. Wait… that long faced kid at the bar, you know the one with the two tone hair. He might be able to help. It’s a long shot though”

“Oh I think Eren called him Horseface. Jean was his name,” Hanji supplied.

“Let’s go talk to him, I hope he’s working tonight” Erwin said.

“Alright, let’s pack up. I just need to grab my jacket.” Levi stated, his guitar already in the cushioned case.

 

“Hey Jean! Eren’s friends Crazy, Eyebrows and Shorty are here to see you.” Connie shouted across the bar.

Ignoring Baldy’s comment Levi sat at the bar and waited for Jean to finish up the order he was currently doing. Levi’s leg bounced impatiently on the stool as he waited. Was this a bad idea? Would he lose all of Eren’s trust and ruin their relationship? No, this was the right thing. Eren needed help, even if he didn’t admit it.

“Sorry for the wait we’re run off out feet, because Jaeger decided that he wouldn’t grace us with his presence. So, what do you want?” Jean’s voice took on a tired tone, but there was a bitter edge to it.

“It’s about Eren, he -”

“Like I just said, that mother fucker skipped out on work leaving us to pick up the shit.” Jean cut in.

“We’re not looking for Eren. Well we are, but we know he wouldn’t be here. Something’s going on with him and he won’t tell us what. Not even Levi.” Erwin explained.

“Jaeger always has shit going on. This is nothing new, he’ll probably be alright in a couple of days.”

“This is different. He blew up, last night he shouted, then came in really late, it was the quietest I’ve ever seen him. He was half frozen. Then earlier today he cried, he smashed my mirror, and he shouted before walking out of the door. Something is going on.” Levi didn’t like the expression on Jean’s face as he finished rounding up how Eren had been acting these past two days.

“He’s usually better at hiding things than that,” Jean mumbled, “wait here.” Jean disappeared out the back of the bar and retrieved his phone from his pocket. At first he thought about calling Eren but if what those three were saying was true, he wasn’t going to pick up anyway. So instead he rang Armin. “Hey there you blond coconut, how’s-”

“Jean, did Eren come into work? Is he okay? How is he coping, why is he even at work? Oh my god, Jean I can’t get a hold of him. I have been trying all day but he won’t pick up, I don’t even want to think about how many messages I’ve left him. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me, I can’t believe I didn’t find out earlier. Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I go and see him? I’m such an idiot.” Armin was sobbing frantically on the phone and Jean’s blood ran cold. Armin wasn’t at the hospital, he should have been. He worked late shifts on Fridays.

“Armin, I’m going to need you to calm down, take a deep breath, and tell me what’s going on. No Eren isn’t here. What’s happened Armin?”

Shuddered breathing came through the microphone, “J-Jean… Mikasa. It’s Mikasa, she… oh god. She’s dead Jean, she died yesterday night. She died right in Eren’s arms, he watched her die Jean. H-he w-watched… a-and oh god.”

Jean was silent. Armin’s sobs drilled into his ears, Jean hung up. He choked, bringing a hand up to his mouth. Suddenly he felt guilty for being angry at Eren, and now he needed to find him. Eren was self-destructive, he was going to drive himself into the ground. Schooling his expression and gathering himself, he made his way back to the front. Obviously he didn’t do a very good job because as soon as he approached the trio Levi demanded, “What’s wrong?”

Jean cleared his throat, meeting each of them in the eye “His… er, Eren’s sister died last night.”

Levi almost fell off of his chair, tears were collecting in Hanji’s eyes and Erwin’s mouth pressed into a straight line. “He didn’t say anything.” Levi whispered, “He said he was fine.”

A heart breaking silence fell over the four of them, and remained for a number of minutes. Jean ignored customer’s constant badgering and snapped at Connie to serve them.

“We need to find him,” Jean stated, “Mikasa was the only thing that was keeping him together. Fuck. I promised him that it wouldn’t be the same. I promised him.” He stared helplessly at the ceiling, desperately trying to stop tears from falling.

“Wouldn’t be the same as what?” Erwin asked.

Jean ripped his eyes away from the ceiling and looked into the blonde’s sharp gaze, “His mum. His mum died of the same thing when he was fourteen.”

“Oh god.” Hanji sobbed, “that’s… that’s not fair.”

“That’s not even the half of it. I don’t know much, Eren never really talked about it. But I’m not blind. He can’t fool me like he can the others. Let’s go wait at his apartment, I have a key.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Like I said, Eren is self-destructive. He used to collapse a lot from exhaustion, he got tired of me breaking his door and calling an ambulance, in the end he just gave me a key. He hated people fussing over him, which is why he didn’t give the key to Armin.”

“So what we’re just going to wait for him to come back? What if he doesn’t? What if he’s in a ditch somewhere?” Levi argues.

“Listen. You won’t find him, especially if Eren doesn’t want to be found. He’ll come home sometime. He will. We have to believe that, he hasn’t got anywhere else to go.” Jean mumbled the last part, but all three of them heard. “We’re leaving now, let me just get cover. I’ll meet you out the front.”

 

***

 

Before their match Goliath approached Eren, a frown on his face. “You the Suicidal Bastard? The guy I’m fighting tonight?” he asked.

Eren nodded in response, “The one and only. I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’m not. Unlike some of these sick fucks I don’t get a kick out of this. You’re too young for this, kid. I’ve heard the rumours about you, though they’re just that as far as I’m concerned. Rumours. Even if those rumours hold some merit, I still don’t want to go against you.”

“I guess that’s too bad Goliath. So come at me like you mean it. If you pull your punches I swear I will break every joint you’ve got.”

“Oh come on, why are you even here? I really don’t want to hurt you kid. I’m in a completely different league than Rogue, a completely different league. Even if I pull my punches you’ll still go down in one. Pull out of this fight kid.”

Eren grinned “Not a chance in hell. As for why I’m here, you don’t need to know. Considering you’re seen as top dog around here I would hope that you’re lightyears above a bitch like rogue.” Eren’s smile dropped, “I doubt anyone’s punches will knock me out in one. When I first started out I had a lot of practice at staying conscious no matter what was thrown at me. It was a little game the audience liked to play. How long can the little bastard last?” He snorted, “I was a stubborn fucker, nothing much has changed actually.” Eren turned to leave, but he was stopped by an iron grip on his bicep. He flicked his gaze upward, eyes flashing with anger.

“I’m trying to help you here. Just drop out, what’s the big deal?”

Eren’s voice dropped a couple of octaves, “You have five seconds to take your hand off of me before I break your wrist.”

“You’ve got to be kidding…”

“Five.”

“Seriously?”

“Four.”

“Come on man.”

“Three.”

“Alright, alright” Goliath held up his hands.

“I was serious about breaking your joints by the way. You better not hold back. I don’t give up either, so you’re going to have to knock me out cold if you want to win. Oh and would you look at the time, we better go get in position. See you in the cage.”

Goliath was left staring after Eren’s retreating figure, mumbling to himself.

 

The booming voice echoed into the air once again and this time Eren heard every word. “After a two year long break from _Walls_ , he’s back for the second time tonight. Earlier he put down Rogue like it was child’s play. But this time he’s up against the major leagues. Truly living up to his name it’s The Suicidal Bastard!”

A smirk played on Eren’s lips as he climbed the stairs, his opponent was already in the ring of wire waiting for him. Goliath looked uncomfortable, like he really didn’t want to be there. Eren snorted, what was a guy who genuinely cared about people doing in a place like this? Well whatever the reason Eren didn’t care, as long as he hit hard and it hurt. The other man towered above Eren by a good foot and a half, he was a giant. His muscles rippled and shifted with every movement, there wasn’t a scratch on him. There wasn’t a single scar, Goliath had never lost value. He hadn’t had to claw his way to the top, it had been handed to him on a silver platter. And that was exactly why Eren wanted to fight him. He was the undisputed champion within an illegal fighting ring, inner conflicts were a common occurrence, and not a single fight went by without someone disagreeing with something. But the man that stood in front of him had silenced them all, he had the united backing of all those involved, every single person believed him to be the best.

The buzzer rang and Goliath threw a punch at Eren. He didn’t dodge, he simply took the hit and frowned, shooting a glare at Goliath. He had pulled it. With a growl of frustration Eren locked his eyes on his target. Goliath was heavy set, weighed a tonne. His weight probably put stress on his knees. It was time for Eren to make good on his promise.

Eren ran at Goliath, using the spring in his step for extra power, he threw two consecutive punches, both to the right, forcing Goliath to place his weight onto his left leg in order to dodge. Effectively holding him in place. While Goliath’s weight was on his left foot, Eren aimed a flatfooted kick to his knee. There was a sickening crack as the joint was forced to bend the wrong way. Goliath cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground. The audience fell silent.

Eren crouched at his head and stared into his eyes. “I told you not to hold back, and I never break a promise. So you need to decide whether you can face beating up a kid like me, or whether you’re not actually fond of these joints working properly.”

He stood up and took a number of steps backwards, waiting for Goliath to make his decision. While he was waiting he nonchalantly examined his nails. Sure Goliath will be in a shit tonne of pain, but adrenaline should be rushing into his system anytime now. He’s a tough guy, probably got a high pain threshold, and coupled with the adrenaline he’ll be fine. Well not fine, but he’ll be up again. And hopefully he’ll be serious this time.

Eren looked up from his nails and saw the dangerous, enraged glare on Goliath’s face. He smiled, that’s the look he had been waiting for. Now they were getting somewhere.  Goliath’s fists were balled in a white knuckle grip, he staggered to his feet, heavily favouring his right leg. Eren sneered tilting his head backwards. Goliath lunged, his experience within the ring started oozing from every pore. The anger was still there but it was now a slow burning rage the simmered just below the surface. Goliath had gained his composure, he was thinking. Before each strike he was thinking of the next, moving like a snake.

Eren’s head snapped in a new direction every time a fist connected. The air was forced out of his lungs and pain blossomed as blood vessels burst.  He couldn’t help but smile, his emotional pain slowly being overwritten as his body took a beating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, what did you think? Please comment and let me know, they always make my day. Thank you for all of the Kudos and support, oh by the way I am tracking "WbtF fic" on tumblr. I probably should have mentioned that a few chapters ago... oh well.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> I'll see you next update ^.^


	26. Fracture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BROPT EreJean coming right up

The sound of a key in the lock made Levi jump. Eren was back.

“Hey, Horseface!” Levi called, Jean woke with a start looking confused until he heard the door open.

“Wait here. You don’t have a key after all, he wouldn’t expect you to be here.” Jean’s tone left no room for argument, “Leave those two asleep. There’s nothing they can do, and it looks like they need some sleep.”

Reluctantly Levi nodded and sat back down. Jean blew out a breath and forced a light tone into his voice. “Hey Jaeger, you missed work today. Where were you? We were so under staffed, I had to leave… Connie… in… charge.” Jean rounded the corner and caught sight of Eren, his breath caught in his throat. Eren’s face was swollen, almost beyond recognition. There were cuts littered across his face, one under his right eye, one on his left temple, above his right eyebrow, and the cartilage in his nose was showing. Jean lowered his gaze, slowly scrutinising all the skin he could see. His knuckles were scraped up, at least three of them out of place. There were bruises blooming everywhere, like grotesque flowers. Tears prickled in Jean’s eyes but he refused to let them fall.

“Hey Jean, what brings you here?” Eren asked, his words coming out a little jumbled like his tongue was too big for his mouth.

“W-well I, ah, I just wanted to come and check on you.” He lowered his gaze, “I’m glad I did.”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“Well I didn’t expect you to walk in looking like you’ve been hit by a fucking train!”                                                                           

The sofa creaked from the next room, and Eren’s eyes instantly flickered to the doorway, before returning back to Jean. “Who else is here?”

“Don’t go off on one, alright. They were worried about you. Promise me you won’t storm out.” Jean says, eyeing Eren cautiously.

The battered brunet lets out a laboured sigh, “That doesn’t sound promising. But yeah whatever, doubt I’d get very far anyway.”

“Levi, Hanji and Erwin are in the other room.” Jean watched as Eren visibly stiffened. “Like I said, they care about you. And don’t give me the bullshit that they would be better off without you, you don’t know how they would be without you. It is not your choice to make, especially if pushing them away is hurting you.”

Eren is silent. His head cocked to the side like he was having an internal debate.

“Come on man, don’t make me hit you when you look like death.”

Eren snorted, briefly cracking a smile, he winced as the motion jostled his bruises. With a hand clutching at his ribs he made his way further into his apartment, “I’m too tired to argue right now. Since you’re here, mind giving me a hand patching up?”

Jean followed behind thankful that Eren hadn’t blown up and walked out, although that was still a high possibility depending on how Levi, Hanji and Erwin react to the state he’s in. They were still walking on a knife’s edge.

 

And audible gasp escaped Levi’s lips.

Jean’s gaze darted to meet Levi’s. The raven looked like a thousand questions were about to come bursting out of his lips. Jean shook his head. Levi pursed his lips into a tight line, scraping together an expression that resembled a brick wall. Eren’s blank expression focused on Levi, who simply stared back fighting against his questions. “Well isn’t this a nice little party?” Eren wheezed, “Shame I didn’t know I was hosting one, I would have put up balloons.”

“E-Eren… what? W-who?...” Levi started, but his mouth was waved shut by Eren’s hand.

“Not right now Levi. As you can see I’ve got shit to deal with.” He said gesturing to his body, limping into the kitchen. Jean followed closely behind, shooting Levi a grim glance.

Eren grabbed an ice pack from the freeze and hopped up onto the counter top. He placed the ice pack against his ribs and pressed it against the forming bruises. As the bitter cold pressed against his swollen side Eren closed his eyes and blew out a pained breath. He heard footsteps cross the kitchen and start routing through cupboards. A tiny smile spread across his face when he heard the familiar click of a fist aid box. “I see you found it then”

Jean hummed in response, “You keep it in the same place.”

“Under the sink… yeah, it’s where mum used to put it.”

“I know, I remember when she used to patch us up after one of our scraps.” Jean smiled fondly.

“Yeah, that was before Marco whipped you into shape.”

Jean slapped Eren on the arm gently, but the action still made him wince. Jean started looking through the first aid kit searching for something to pull Eren’s nose back together.

“Y’know you should really go to the hospital…”

Eren glared at Jean, it was a stare that could have brought an army to its knees. “Okay, no hospitals. Could we at least get Armin over here? At least he’s trained for this shit.”

Jean was met with the same glare. Not wanting to push the brunet to the point of walking out to god knows where Jean simple mumbled, “I guess we’ll have to manage then…” and went back to looking through the first aid kit. “So… what happened?”

“I got in a fight. Now, let’s just leave it at that.”

“The guy must have had one hell of a right hook, because he left your nose looking like a fucking Picasso painting.”

“Since when were you into art?”

Jean frowned, “… Marco’s an artist.”

A puzzled look crossed Eren’s features, “Oh yeah. Ha… I knew that.”

“Eren… what day is it today?”

“…er…”

“Where do you work?”

“…”

The frown deepened on Jeans brow, and Eren continued to look confused. “Wait here for a second.” Jean said as he walked back into the living room where Levi was pacing. “Hey do you have a torch on you?”

“What do you need it for? How’s Eren?” Levi demanded.

“Really beaten up. And he seems to have some blank spots in his memory. I need the torch to check his pupils. Now do you have one or not?”

“Why do you need to do that? What the fuck happened and why won’t he let us help him?! God dammit why does he have to be so fucking stubborn!? Shitty brat and his fucking shitty personality and gorgeous fucking eyes, shit fuck, I swear to god I’m going to hit him myself.” Levi’s rant was interrupted by a thud from the kitchen. All heads turned in the sound’s direction, Jean and Levi shared a look before darting into the kitchen. Eren had fallen off of the counter and collapsed into a heap on the floor. “Eren! Eren, can you hear me?” Levi shouted at the unconscious man. Jean placed a hand on the brunet’s shoulder and shook him gently, a pained groan passed his lips and his face scrunched in agony.

Jean met Levi’s eyes, “Let’s get him out of these clothes and into bed. If he has a concussion like I think he does rest is what’s best.” Jean moved to pick Eren up but Levi slapped his hands away.

“I’ll do it.” Levi carefully rolled Eren onto his side and lifted him into his arms, clutching him to his chest. He stood on shaky legs and followed Jean into the bedroom. “You’re heavier than you look brat” he whispered, running a thumb tenderly along Eren’s shoulder. “You’re going to be okay Eren, because you are going to tell me what’s going on and we will figure it out. And I am sorry about your sister. I’m so sorry.” Levi placed a kiss to Eren’s forehead as he laid the younger man down onto the bed. Hanji and Erwin had woken up and were now standing in the doorway watching as Levi and Jean tenderly began to remove his clothing. Everyone held their breath as each piece was taken off. Deep bruising spread across Eren’s body like a layer of tar.

When Eren was left on only a pair of boxers everyone was left speechless. Hanji’s hands covered her mouth as tears streamed down her face; Erwin’s hand rested on her shoulder wearing a grim expression, studying the damage. Jean was absentmindedly folding Eren’s clothes in the corner, and Levi was kneeling with his head against the duvet, staring up at Eren’s broken face. Eren’s slow laboured breathing mingled with Hanji’s soft sobs to create a sombre symphony. As more time passed, more bruises blossomed on Eren’s skin. His tan golden skin vanishing as ugly black and purple splodges rose to the surface.

A damp cloth ran over Eren, cleaning away the dirt and the blood. The grime from Walls vanished from his skin, Levi ran his fingers through Eren’s hair and began to gently detangle the matted brown locks. In his head images of the previous night and that morning flashed through his mind. Eren’s blank expression, his teary eyes, his anger. Each image came and went, always returning to one in particular. Eren silently sobbing, staring at his own reflection with hatred, the cracks in the mirror slashing his face into pieces. Levi remembered the warmth of that caramel skin as he pulled the sobbing man to him. Eren had been so vulnerable, so raw, it had felt wrong for Levi to be there. And yet at the same time Levi felt like he belonged. Like he was supposed to be there to hold Eren together. It had felt so right when everything else was falling apart.

“Hey Eren… I’m going to do it. I’m going to press charges against Mike” Levi whispered, “But I don’t think I can do it by myself. So sorry brat but you’re going to have to stick around, don’t even think about fucking leaving because this is all your fault.”

“Levi are you sure?”

“I wasn’t talking to you Erwin.”

“Might as well have been. But back to the point, are you sure?”

Levi glanced at Erwin from the corner of his eye, “You’ve been pushing me to charge him and yet now you’re questioning my decision. Why?”

“I’m just making sure this is what you want and that you’re not rushing into this.”

“I’ve been thinking about this ever since it happened, until now I’ve been putting it to the back of my mind. But now, I’m ready. I think. At least right now I am, whether I lose my nerve later we’ll see.”

“I doubt you’ll lose your nerve Levi, you’re a stubborn bastard.”

A smirk played on Levi’s lips, “Damn right. Go get some more sleep Shitwin, you look like crap.”

“No worse than you I’m sure.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Make sure you get some sleep though Levi.”

“Yeah, yeah, now go sleep before I knock you out myself.”

 

***

 

Eren blinked blearily awake. He felt like he had been hit by a truck. His vision was unfocussed, he couldn’t breathe through his nose and his body felt like lead. Something soggy and cold was sitting on his forehead. What it was his fuzzy brain didn’t know, but he didn’t particularly care. The coolness calmed the workmen that were busy hammering in his skull. It was only when he tried to shift his leg that he noticed the warmth that was pressed against his side. Hesitantly he shifted his gaze from the ceiling to the dip in the bed. There he saw Levi peacefully sleeping. His head was resting on folded arms, his black hair splayed ever so slightly across his face, the wrinkle that was usually between his eyebrows was nowhere to be found. A small smile tugged at his lips. His emerald eyes snapped away and the smile dropped off of his face. He focussed on his blank ceiling again. The droning beep from the hospital echoed in his ears and when he closed his eyes Mikasa’s pale face swam into view. The dark circles under her eyes, the dry skin of her hands, and the abnormal pale colour of her cheeks. It was all there, all in his head. Tentatively Eren threaded his hand into Levi’s hair. The shorted man didn’t stir, but his brow furrowed slightly before relaxing again.

“He really cares about you y’know” a hoarse voice drifted through the doorway.

Eren looked over and saw Jean quietly stepping into the room, “Yeah... I guess he does.”

“So you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“…”

“Come on man, be straight with me. I’m calling you out, what you too chicken to tell me?” Jean sniggered.

“Don’t test me horseface. Just ‘cause I’m a little banged up doesn’t mean I won’t hit you.”

“Now, now Jaegerbomb don’t blow a fuse.” Jean’s smirk fell off his face and was replaced with a tight line, “Anyways I’d say that you were more than ‘a little’ banged up.” Eren refused to meet his eyes as Jean sat on the corner of the bed, careful not to wake Levi. “I’m sorry to hear about Mikasa…”

“Yeah… well… so am I” Eren mumbles quietly, flicking his gaze from the door to the ceiling.

“Look at me Eren, tell me what happened. You know me, you know I’m not going to judge. I might hit you if you’re an idiot, but I won’t judge. Well I guess that is judging, but that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is… er”

“Stop your neighing horseface. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit!”

Eren flinched at the sudden volume glancing worriedly at Levi who frowned in his sleep. Once he was certain that the raven wasn’t about to wake up he glared back at Jean, only to find him staring back with glassy eyes. Jean sniffled and scrubbed at his nose.

Eren sighed and closed his eyes, “Whatya crying for?”

“Because I care about you goddammit! You’re a stubborn, hot-headed idiot that always grates on my nerves and pushes my buttons, but you still mean a lot to me, man. So help me god I will drag Armin and Marco down here if you don’t tell me. You can glare at me all day Eren but I am not dropping this. You have a new relationship with the guy you’ve idolised for years, do you ever show him that? Stop being such a pig headed fuck and let someone in.” Jean grabbed Eren by the shoulders and stared in the green depths once they opened, “You’re only human Eren. You’re allowed to cry, you’re allowed to hurt, and for crying out loud you’re allowed to be happy. You did everything you could for Mikasa, she was too far gone.  You don’t need to feel guilty just because you’re alive. You deserve to live happily Eren. You deserve to love. Why don’t you see that? Why do you insist on punishing yourself for living? You’re allowed to grieve Eren, but you can’t go and seek pain. You can’t go and get broken like this, this is just… it’s…”

Eren smirked, “suicidal?”

“That’s not funny Eren.”

“That’s because you’re not in on the joke Jean.”

“Then fill me in!” This time Jean’s outburst cause Levi to jolt awake. His eyes snapped open and he sat up, blinking rapidly. He shot Jean a glare before his eyes settled on Eren.

“Hey, how you doing?” he asked.

“I’m fine. You sleep well? No nightmares?”

“Er yeah. But you should worry about yourself, we managed to patch you up a bit while you were passed out.”

Eren flashed Levi one of his blinding smiles, “Yeah thanks for that!”

“We weren’t going to leave you looking like a shitty piece of modern art.”

“You have such a tender way with words Levi.”

Levi snorted, “Well I hope you knew that before we got together.”

“Luckily I figured it out pretty quick.” Eren smiled again, this time there was the tiniest glint in his eyes. It felt like a genuine smile, there was a warmth behind it that had been missing. Levi gave his own crooked smirk in return.

Jean coughed awkwardly, earning himself another glare from Levi. “You got a problem pony-boy?”

Jean frowned, “No. Not at all” he said as he left the room. He nodded to Erwin and collapsed onto Eren’s lumpy sofa. Blowing out a breath he decided that he ought to ring Marco, the other man was probably pulling his hair out with worry. He pulled out his phone and dialled the number.

 

In the other room Eren and Levi were still talking, whenever there was a lull in conversation questions always bubbled to the tip of Levi’s tongue. But Eren always found a new topic to push the questions away, and Levi couldn’t bring himself to push the issue. Eren’s easy smile seemed genuine, there was colour in his cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes. At the next drop in conversation Levi decided that he was going to tell Eren about his decision, and hope that it would prompt Eren to open up a little. If he was able to do this, maybe Eren would be able to face what was chasing him. “Hey Eren…”

Eren’s emerald eyes fixed on his.

“I’m going to put him behind bars. I’m going to charge him… to charge Mike.”

Eren’s eyes widened a fraction in surprise, his gaze combing over Levi’s face. Then he smiled. From ear to ear, a brilliant grin that would put the sun out of a job. “Really?”

Levi rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips “I’ve already told you once brat, but you were unconscious or something.”

Eren snorted, “My bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, woah it's been a month.. oops. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated and make my day, so please leave those if you wish.  
> Well then my dears, I shall see you next update! ^.^


	27. Flood

Mike came striding into the office, “Jensen where are we on the fighting ring? I want a schedule, I want to know when their next fights are and if any of the mob bosses or drug lords are going to be there”

Jensen stood from behind his desk and handed Mike a file, “Next lot of fights are supposed to occur tonight, however no big fish are due to show up. What do you want to do sir?”

“We’ll wait. I don’t want to blow this whole operation just for a couple of meat heads. Keep working the streets, and get me the next fight date when are dear friends come to play.”

Jensen gave a curt nod, “Yes sir.” An awkward silence fell on Jensen’s shoulders, his weight shifting from one foot to the other.

“Is there anything else, officer?” Mike snapped.

“Er, y-yes sir. About the, er, the other thing that you asked…” Mike raised an eyebrow and nodded his head towards his office before stomping away. Jensen hesitantly trailed after his superior like a little puppy. The wall that separated Mike’s office from the rest of the precinct was made of glass, it was supposed to be symbolic that justice was transparent, trustworthy. The brick walls were painted a now greying white, again it was representative that the police were pure and good. Apparently the director was an aspiring poet… or something. She was always quoting some writer or another, she did love a good metaphor. Jensen never quite understood it himself, he was never any good at English at school. He much preferred PE, being outside in the air and feeling that burn in his muscles. He could never quite get enough of that feeling. Which is one of the reasons he enjoyed field work so much; chasing criminals until they gave up or he caught them, carefully aiming his pistol in order to disable the suspect. Staring into the eyes of murderers at a stand-off and knowing that once he caught them the world would be that little bit safer, it was a thrill that he couldn’t help but crave more of. But all of that can’t be enjoyed without having to do paperwork… and in his opinion paperwork was essentially Satan.

“Officer Jensen stop standing in the doorway and come and give your report.” Mike commanded as he took his seat in the plush leather chair. Jensen jumped out of his skin and hastily stood at attention. Chief Zacharias was always terrifying, cold eyes and a killer glare, he also had an impeccable sense of smell. Which actually was incredibly creepy.

“Well Sir, the man you asked about has been spotted in the fighting ring that we are trying to take down. As of last night, he made his first appearance but according to our sources he apparently used to fight two years ago as well. Our sources are unable to find out why he has come back and do not know when he is next scheduled to fight. After his fight we were unable to follow as he somehow got around our people. Whether he knew we were watching and intentionally avoided us or whether it was just luck we are not sure.”

Mike clenched his teeth in irritation and his nostrils flared.

“Sir with all due respect, I do not see why we are after this man. Besides his ties with Walls he doesn’t seem to be a threat, nor is he a bad person. Along with this her he does not seem to have any relation to open cases aside from the Walls case.”

“Officer Jensen I suggest that you hold your tongue and get out of my office in the next three seconds.”

Jensen’s eyes widened and retreated out of the room, leaving his fuming superior to boil in his own rage, while the young officer was left questioning what he said wrong. As Jensen sat back down at his own desk he replayed the conversation over and over, searching for the answer. However he kept coming up empty.

Back in his office Mike was fuming silently, hoping that when they made a move on Walls Eren would grace them with his presence. After all it’s a common occurrence for a stray bullet to kill instead of disable. A smirk played on his lips as he trigger finger twitched.

 

***

Both Erwin and Hanji had gone home once they saw that there wasn’t anything that they could do. This left both Jean and Levi glued to Eren’s side and jumping at every noise he made, though both would deny it. At every chance they got they would ask Eren how he was and if he needed anything, and if he replied with a yes insults about his incompetence would soon follow. Neither Jean nor Levi questioned Eren how he had ended up in this state however it provided an underlying tension which made itself known at every silence. Eventually Levi and Jean shared a glance and it was silently decided that they were going to bring it up. Eren had relaxed considerably since he had limped into his home, and seemed to be in a far less foul mood now that some painkillers were in his system. When the two flopped down either side of Eren the brunet remained still and silent. A slight tension flashed through his muscles but he forced them to relax. In his heart of hearts he knew what was about to be said, and that the whole evening had been building to it.

He blew out a sigh and tilted his head backwards until he was staring at the ceiling, then he began to speak.

“You know… it’s almost six years to the day that mum died. How ironic is that? I must have really pissed someone up there off.” Eren’s eyes remained trained on the ceiling, he could practically feel the anticipation that was brewing within the other two men.

“Fuck, I can hardly believe that it was six years ago, I can still smell her ginger biscuits fresh from the oven. I can still feel the glare she’d give me whenever I came home with a scrape or a bruise because of a fight, she’d wag her finger and say ‘Eren Jaeger, what have you been up to? You know that I don’t like violence, and yet you still insist of fighting everyone that looks at you wrong. Listen to me dear, not everything can be solved with your fists, sometimes you need to use that thick skull of yours. Or you need to walk away, some people are just not worth the effort. I swear your temper is going to get you in big trouble one day. Now come here and give me a hug.’ Then she’d give me a soft smile, a clip round the back of the head and pull me into a bigger hug than you would think possible.” A sad soft smile fluttered onto Eren’s face, but it soon faded. “I can’t remember her voice anymore though. I know what she said and I know how she looked, but I don’t know how she sounded. No matter how hard I try I just can’t remember. She used to sing all the time while she did the house work, but I can’t remember the tune. I know that she was amazing, all the neighbours always said so. Mum would always leave the windows open so any passers-by would stop for a moment to listen. I have no idea what that tune was. It was always the same one. I can’t seem to remember the colour of her eyes. I know they were hazel. Kind of light with some green in there somewhere. It’s where I got my green eyes from. But I can’t remember them right. They always seem to be off. I’m slowly losing my memory of her. It feels like she’s dying all over again.”

Jean and Levi remained silent but sucked in deep breaths of air.

“And now, the same thing is going to happen with Mikasa. Her heart has stopped beating, she is no longer breathing, and soon she’ll be stuck in a box in the ground. Then as the years go by pieces of her will just drop out of my memory and she’ll die all over again.” Eren’s voice was growing tight, his blinking was growing rapid as tears collected at the corner of his eyes. He uselessly swallowed as his throat constricted. “I don’t know if I can go through that again. I don’t know if I can hold myself together again. Everything I was doing, I was doing for her… to keep her alive. Three jobs, a shitty apartment, skipping meals, I was fine sacrificing anything that I had to if it meant that she would stay with me. Now she’s gone, and taken my reason for living with her. And yet here I am, I’m still sitting here, still breathing, still living. I’m a god damn coward. I don’t want to live, but I’m too scared to die. So now what do I do? I go and make living that bit more painful, I try to force myself to give up that last bit of hope I have for my life to actually get better. But I still can’t do it. I don’t even have to try before I know that I won’t be able to take a step off of a rooftop or off of a bridge, my finger won’t be able to pull a trigger, or slice open my arm with a knife. I know I won’t be able to kill myself because I still want the pain of living. Both my mum and my sister are dead and yet I’m still alive and kicking.” He scrubbed at his eyes and began to choke on his words, “they were both one hundred times better than I am, and it’s not fair. I-it’s not f-fair… it should have b-been me. Th-they were both b-better than me. Th-they were k-kinder, a-and sssmarter. It shouldn’t h-have b-been them. It’s not fair, i-it’snotf-fairit’snotfair-”

Tears were streaming down his cheeks, sobs and wails shot into the air. His chest felt tight and he only quietened when he sucked in greedy breaths of air. His head was still resting on the back of the chair, his face tilted to the ceiling. But now the heels of his hands were shoved over his eyes and scrubbing at them furiously. He felt hands slowly pull him towards a warm solid body but he didn’t fight them. For once he just let himself be moved as he went limp against the chest. A hand weaved into his hair and rested on the back of his head, and another was placed around his waist. He continued to cry, letting fat salty droplets land one after the other onto the man next to him. A deep velvety voice muttered soft words into his ear. Somewhere along the line Eren realised that it was Levi he had been pulled into, but he found that he honestly couldn’t care less. He was warm and soothing, and he was the man that had unknowingly saved him in the past.

Levi looked over Eren’s shoulder at Jean who was doing his best to hold back tears of his own. He had no idea that Eren had been carrying such dark thoughts around with him, sure he figured that there would be a hell of a lot of grief and pain… but he never thought Eren would be this broken. Suddenly he couldn’t believe he had been just as blinded by Eren’s mask as everyone else had. It made him wonder just how many of his smiles had been lies, how much laughter had been bitter? Jean struggled to swallow and his mouth felt dry, he opened and closed his mouth searching for the right words. Instead of finding reassurances he only found more questions, and despite the fact that Eren was a blubbering mess it was the right time to ask them.

“Eren… hey bud look at me.” Jean spoke softly and placed a hesitant hand onto the brunet’s back. Eren’s green eyes peaked out from Levi’s chest and looked at him guiltily. Jean offered a tiny smile, “What happened?”

Eren frowned and closed his eyes, burying his face back into Levi’s chest, mumbling something unintelligible. Jean looked to Levi in the hope that he had managed to decode whatever had been said, but he was only met with a confused frown. “Eren we don’t speak mumble, use your words kid” Levi grumbled.

Eren’s shoulders shook as he took a shuddered breath before sitting up again, leaning his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He avoided eye contact. “I was at… Walls.”

Jean froze and Levi’s scowl deepened. Panic and fear rose in Jean as he processed the weight of Eren’s confession. No one outside of Walls really knew what it was about, but there were always rumours. All of Mitras’ underworld had ties with Walls, it was the only neutral ground in the whole city. Mafia feuds were often solved within the chain link fence of the Walls arena, reputations were either built or destroyed. If Eren was there… if he had been allowed to fight, then he had gotten himself into something he might not be able to run away from.

Levi looked to Jean in the hope of an explanation, but none was provided. From the look on the other man’s face he could tell Eren hadn’t just got caught up in some street fight somewhere. A sudden silence had fallen over the trio and Levi could feel that something was brewing. Jean’s muscles were coiled like a spring just waiting for release, Eren’s foot was tapping restlessly on the floor, but he didn’t look up, and Levi was left watching the both of them.

The tension in Jean snapped and he leapt to his feet, “Of all the stupid things to do. What the fuck were you thinking Jaeger? You went to Walls, you might as well have joined a mafia family you idiotic fuck. I can’t believe you! How did you even get them to let you to fight? Actually I don’t think I want to know. No. Yes I do. How the fuck did you manage to get in the ring?” Jean was glaring daggers at the side or Eren’s head, Levi was glaring at Jean, and Eren was attempting to glare at the floor.

“b-because I’ve fought there before.”

Jean’s eyes widened “When?”

“… I stopped two years ago”

“And when did you _start_?”

“When mum died.”

All of the air escaped from Jean and he sat back down on the sofa, “Oh Eren.”

“D-don’t do that. I don’t want your pity. I don’t want to look at me like some broken little boy. I am twenty one years old god dammit. You know what Jean, just go home to Marco. The freckled Jesus is probably going out of his mind.”

“Yeah you’re right he is. But he would also killed me if I left you alone right now.”

“He won’t be alone, I’ll stay with him.” Levi piped up.

“Brilliant the guy you have known for five minutes and has no idea about what you have gotten yourself into is going to stay. Isn’t this just perfect.”

“You turn into an ass when you’re stressed out Jean. Go home.”

“What would make you think I’m stressed out Jaeger? Could it be the fact that I had to pull your nose back together, or carry your unconscious ass to bed when you collapsed in the kitchen, or the fact that you are moronic enough to get involved with Walls? Boy I wonder why I’m stressed. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“I think you’ll find that I’m the one that carried him to bed, and Eren’s right you’re really not helping here. Go home.”

“Alright fine. Fuck the both of you. I’m done.” Jean abruptly stood and stomped out of the apartment. Eren flinched as the door slammed shut.

“You’re going to tell me about Walls and you’re going to tell me right now.” Levi’s tone left no room for argument. Eren sighed and filled Levi in on what he was probably better off not knowing. Throughout his story Levi remained still and listened quietly. His expression remained impassive as he attempted to mask the rage he felt towards Grisha and Kenny, as he masked the pang in his heart when he spoke of his mother. Here and there Levi squeezed his hand, for support, or encouragement neither of them knew but it served its purpose. Eren knew that Levi was there, that this was reality, it was that hand that anchored him to the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyoo, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and a great New Year!  
> I hope to go back to updating more frequently in the new year but I'm not going to make any promises because we all know how that ends up :') yeah, sorry about that.  
> As always guys, thanks for reading! I'll see you next update ^.^


	28. Daybreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we have some positivity people

Tears pool in the corners of Levi’s eyes, and Eren can’t bear to meet them. He couldn’t face the pitying sorrow that he assumed was etched into the raven’s features. He had seen the same look on too many grim faces over the years. Eren scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He wanted to be rid of the tears, he wanted rid of the tightness in his chest, the block in his nose, the flush of his cheeks. He wanted rid of it all. A laugh bubbled its way up his throat and barked out of him. The sound scratched his throat and caused Levi to jump, looking at him in confusion.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

Eren looked at Levi guiltily, “After all of that, I want to… go to Walls.”

“Look at where that got you last time brat.”

Eren snapped. “Don’t you think I know that?! I know. Trust me I fucking know! I asked to go against Goliath, alright? I asked for this. And no, not in some misguided self-blame, I literally asked for it. I taunted him, I made him hit harder. I snapped his knee like a twig, Levi. I wanted him to break me as much as he could before I couldn’t get up again. I didn’t know whether I wanted to live or die, I just wanted to hurt.”

Eren’s eyes were wild, flickering with a rabid fury that had nowhere to do, no one to focus on. He gritted his teeth together in an animalistic growl. Pain was embedded in his features, so deep set that it radiated from his core. His tattered hand clenched and unclenched by his sides.

Levi swallowed drily, his voice still even, “Weren’t you already hurting enough?”

“Different kind of pain. I don’t deal very well with emotions.” His eyes glazed over and became glassy, unfocussed. It was like everything he had ever held in was rising to the surface and manifesting itself on the wall behind Levi’s head.

“I’ve figured out that much. Hanji would call you emotionally constipated.”

Eren snorted, blinking back to reality before wincing as the air forced its way through his shattered nose. “And you aren’t?”

“I never claimed I wasn’t” Levi said with a soft smirk. His tone had no edge to it, it was obvious he was trying to lighten the mood.

“You want to watch another Disney film?”

“You ready to have more of your childhood ruined?”

“If it’s you that’s ruining it I’m sure I’ll survive” Eren winked, reaching for his laptop.

Levi was silent for a moment, taking his time to study Eren’s face. There wasn’t anything forced about his soft easy expression, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to believe that it was genuine. It was trapped somewhere between the two. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Change the way you act? It’s like you flip a switch.” Eren’s expression changed, if only slightly. There was a hard edge to his eyes that any other person would have missed. But Levi was a quick learner, and he was beginning to be able to read Eren like a simple children’s book.

“I’ve had a lot of practise. I’m sure you gathered from… that. I guess I’m just good at stopping myself feeling something, I just shut it away somewhere until I can face it.”

“And if you can’t?”

Eren looked at him out of the corner of his eye, standing to retrieve his laptop that was just out of reach. Levi looked up through his lashes and Eren couldn’t bring himself to feel any kind of anger or irritation towards the probing question. Levi was talking to him, Levi had accepted him after everything that he had just been told. He didn’t think he was the monster that stared back at Eren whenever he looked in the mirror. Somehow he hadn’t changed the way he looked at him. Soft metal eyes and a crooked smile. Like he meant the world to him. Eren hoped that he was returning the same look, because there was no mistake, Eren was in love with Levi. And despite always being distracted and never being able to show him just how much he cared, he did. Without Mikasa Eren never saw a way to keep on going, never saw what the point in carrying on would be, he never even considered it. But here sitting in front of him was a man that listened to everything he had to say and had remained sitting there.

The pain of losing his sister was something that would never go away he knew that already, he’d been through it before, but maybe with Levi’s help it would be easier to forget about that pain for a while. Not often, not right away. But for a little at a time.

“If I can’t face it then it stays bottled away until I can’t hold it anymore. Until I go and scream in a deserted forest at whatever AM, or go and beat the crap out of some thug at Walls, or get the shit kicked out of me.”

Levi cocked an eyebrow, “Or smash your boyfriend’s mirror?”

The hardness melted and Eren’s eyes were soft again, Levi could see the relief that crossed his features. Then he smiled. A gorgeous smile just for Levi, it was like someone had turned on the sun and for a moment Levi was unsure what he did to cause such a reaction. His question was soon answered, “You called me your boyfriend.”

“You’re such a kid sometimes. It’s not like I haven’t said it before.”

“Yeah but I was pissed off last time, it doesn’t count.”

“Whatever you say, brat. Now start the film, I’m turning grey over here.”

“Alright old man I’m going, I’m going.” Eren snatched up his laptop and settled back down on the sofa. He set the computer down onto the coffee table. “So, what’ll it be?”

“I don’t know, you’re the Disney fanatic. Pick whatever you want, I don’t really care.”

“Well we’ve watched The Lion King, Pocahontas, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, and Mulan; I think Aladdin would be a good follow up.”

Levi merely nodded not really caring what they watched, as long as Eren was safe they could have watch the Bee Movie and he wouldn’t have complained. Well, perhaps that wasn’t exactly true nothing was ever going to be spared of his snide remarks.

“You know, I’ve actually danced to one of these songs at The Garrison.” Eren chuckled at Levi’s raised brow and continued, “We were having an Arabian Fantasies night and Petra insisted. It was really weird actually.”

Levi laughed, “I’m sure it was.” He glanced at Eren out of the corner of his eye and a playful smirk danced across his lips. His steel gaze lightened with a mischievous sparkle. “I don’t quite believe you though, I think you’re going to have to show me sometime.”

A blush crept across Eren’s cheeks and his eyes widened almost comically “w-well yeah, no… I mean. Erm… sure?”

Levi couldn’t help the snicker that passed his lips. How such a broken boy could light up his life this much he wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t about to let it go out. He had come to learn that whenever he smiled Eren would smile, or whenever he would stutter and say something stupid Eren would laugh and smile fondly. It was a smile that made him melt like the gooey marshmallows on top of the hot chocolate that they had shared together while curled up on the sofa and watching whatever Disney film it was that they had watched. “Hey Eren, do you have any hot chocolate?”

“I actually have no idea. If I do it will be in the top cupboard to the left of the sink.” Eren was now flopped on the sofa, comfortably nestled. At Levi’s question he had moved to get up but a quick glare had him sitting back down again.

Once Levi was out of the room Eren let out a tiny groan of pain as his muscles burned with bruising and he struggled to breathe. His eyes shuttered closed as he grimaced at the prospect of having to heal up. He wouldn’t be able to move easily, he wouldn’t be able to go to work, he was going to have to sit at home and heal his wounds with little to distract him from the pain in his heart. A pain that seemed to wane when he was busy or when he was around others, but it would always rear its ugly head once again and Eren felt the need to run back to the cage. He needed to feel the white lights wash away his emotions and highlight every scar he bears on his skin.

The dancer knows seduction and temptation, the fighter knows pain and rage, and the boy… he knows grief and suffering.

The man that Eren wants to be will know loss, but he will also know love and happiness. That is the man that Mikasa would want him to be, that is the man that his mother would have wanted to watch him grow into. A man that is strong, a man that is kind-hearted, and a man that loves, and is loved back.

There was a muted crashed from the kitchen, followed by a string of mumbled profanities. Eren clutched at the arm rest and pulled himself out of the chair, hugging his ribs. Slowly he hobbled over to the kitchen calling, “Levi, you okay?”

Levi only grunted in reply and Eren couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled across his lips as he was met with the sight of Levi kneeling on the counter top. His boyfriend’s arm was outstretched as he reached for the top shelf, his fingers just grazing the hot chocolate packet. A packet of biscuits had tumbled out and a couple had scattered onto the floor. The mugs were already sitting by the kettle and a spoon waiting with them. A glare was sent Eren’s way but it was promptly ignored as the brunet continued to laugh at his short boyfriend struggling to reach the top shelf.

“D-do, you n-need a h-hand?” Eren gasped between pockets of laughter. He grimaced as his panting strained his ribs a small whine trembling in the back of his throat.

“Shut up brat, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Levi glowered as he hopped off of the counter with a huff. It wasn’t the first time he had cursed his height, and it was probably not going to be the last but it didn’t change that fact that it was infuriating.

Eren straightens and walks over to the cupboard, with an arm under his ribs he stretches to retrieve the elusive hot chocolate. He stiffens slightly as two arms wrap gently, tentatively around his waist. Levi’s lips press softly into his spine. Eren picked up the kettle and made their hot drinks topping them both off with an abundance of mini marshmallows.

“I suppose I should move these onto a lower shelf if you’re going to be coming round here more often.”

Levi rubbed his forehead between Eren’s shoulder blades, “Don’t bother.”

Eren’s eyebrows pull together into a frown and his grip around the mug tightens, the corners of his mouth drooping. “Oh… alright then.”

Levi huffed, and momentarily tightened his grip “That’s not what I meant.” He released his hold on Eren and coaxed his boyfriend into facing him. The brunet was refusing to look him in the eyes and instead was looking at one of the broken floor tiles. Levi tutted, placing a finger under Eren’s chin and lifting it until he looked him in the eyes, “Hey, Eren. That’s not what I meant.” His steel eyes searched Eren’s emerald ones as he let out a sigh, “I wasn’t planning on asking you now but whatever. You shouldn’t bother because you should just move in with me. I mean obviously only if you want to.”

Eren’s eyes widened comically, heat flooded to his cheeks and he spluttered, all of his words coming out in a babbled rush “Don’t you think it’s a bit quick? I mean like really quick, are we rushing things? Are you sure I won’t get in the way, mess things up? Are you sure you’re sure? I’ve been used to living alone for so long I’ve probably got so many bad habits and-”

Levi pressed his lips to Eren’s. The kiss was soft, sweet, and chaste. “Shut up, brat.”

“But-“

Levi held up his finger “ah, no.”

Eren pouted against it and stared at him with big puppy dog eyes, he nodded silently, listening. “Yes Eren it’s a big step, and yes we are moving at a million miles an hour. But, I want to be there to support you, and I don’t want you to be alone all the time, so I figured why not.”

“A-are you sure?”

Levi rolled his eyes, “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure.” A smirk played on his lips, “Besides, this apartment is a shit hole.”

Eren chuckled, “You’ve got me there.”

“You never actually answered my question.”

“You didn’t actually ask me a question in the first place.” Eren shot back with a crooked smile, his eyes alight with a playful spark that Levi hadn’t seen much of but was desperate to see more often.

“Alright you cheeky fuck. Eren do you want to move in with me?”

Eren grinned, “Yes Levi, I would love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, so this story has suddenly jumped up in length. Like seriously, it's gone from 35 to way more than that because I changed the course of the plot a little and by a little I mean a lot. Oops...  
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you next update! ^.^


End file.
